Left the lights on

It was a long way back,
but there's nowhere else I'd rather be than
Home.

Hey stranger

Because you remind of the person I was, and everything I'm supposed to be. 

Breaking point

Ledge. Air. Wind.
I am so afraid of heights and yet, when I think of ways out I think of

Parapets, corners, bridges, too many levels up and the way I cannot hear my tears fall against the concrete floor.
If my body falls, will it make a sound?
And if it doesn't, does it mean it's actually fallen at all?

Did you know,
You can fall in love in so many ways.
And did you know? Even after, you can keep falling in love...
Over and over and over again.
But did you also know that you can keep Falling and you tell yourself it doesn't hurt but Jesus Christ it does and you wish you wouldn't hurt, wish you could outrun this bullshit
But then you're numb numb numb
And sitting on the couch with your coffee wishing for the first time that you had your tears and your sadness-
Do you know why?
Because it's all that's left of her.
And that matters.
It's almost like, all that sadness caused by that absence..
That absence of her...
That's all you have left.

That's all you've got left darling.

Pink Dot 2015

Today, I was part of the 28,000 people gathered at this amazing event. I've received looks of alarm when I admit I haven't been before. Perhaps because I've never been the sort to shove my flag in people's faces, and I kinda wondered if this would be doing that. But then today I realized it's really just a big happy party of families and children and grass and dogs and balloons and picnics and wine and love. Just an outpouring of so much love- it's so heartening to see heterosexual couples come, to see families and their children be there. Because their being there screams "you deserve all this love as much as we do". 

Also having chilled out picnics, good conversation, listening to good writers and speakers- that's really what we do. There isn't any gay agenda. If there was, that would probably be it: chill out, have awesome picnics and good conversations with people you love. And just, be. 

Secret

And then,
I can feel all these things
Such that if
You ask me if I feel sorry,
The answer is
No. I don't.

Because finally,
I can feel again.

Relativity.

So really, in relation to the big big bigggggggger picture of all of it-

What? What is this really?

I know you don't know. It's not fair. But okay, I've done my part in shielding you from things and today...

Today, this hurts. 

So much I can feel it. 

And baby,

That's really saying something. 

Godfuckingdammit,someonegivemeasmokenow

Wish you were here.
Wish it was you.
Wish I made more sense



Period

Grams and milligrams

Fact of the day: they don't tell you it won't fix the pain.

Pick it up, pick it all up. And start again.

You've got a warm heart,

you've got a beautiful brain.

But it's disintegrating,

from all the medicine.

from all the medicine.

from all the medicine.

Medicine.

You could still be,

what you want to be,

What you said you were,

when you met me.

When I met you. 

That's a fine looking high horse

It's not so much about the cards you have as much as it is how you play them