Monday, February 22, 2010


Well, if today hasn't been a fruitful day so far, I don't know what else to call it!
I slept in til noon, for one.
Clearly I've bollocksed up my biological clock and waking up instantly at 8am has become a memory of me being disciplined and all the things I wish I were more of, today.

So anyway, after checking out the lesson plan and planning activities in my head (I like Mondays with Xin Min, they're decent and we get a ton more work done for some reason), I walked to work and then walked back.
(I'm trying to sound healthy and energetic, but it doesn't take very much effort. It's less time than Vicky takes to walk to Bird's. Or almost the same)

Because Fishbone has been gobbling up his sister's food like day in and day out, and Buttons comes into the sanctuary of our room to find her bowl nearly empty, we've been suspecting that Fishbone might have redeveloped worms.
Actually i personally think he is half dog. But anyway, after days of procrastination, I gave him the deworming paste. It is SO handy, twenty bucks for this huge syringe. And it's the same one that breeders use!

So while I was out, instead of coming home to find poop with worms in them, I came back to a major pool of puke in the middle of my kitchen. Complete with his breakfast and some of his sister's.
Now, Buttons has very bad hairballs because of her thick fur so she tends to throw up once in a while. How did I know this belonged to Fishbone? Because as I was cleaning up, I saw bits of newspaper. And, because Fishbone is half dog, he's the only one of the two that eats trash.
Ta da! Lovely investigative work indeed!*pats back

So I had to wipe that up and then mop the area. After rinsing out and putting the mop away, I reached for my cell phone and found another tiny pool of puke. Just with digested food this time.
Cleaned that up too and by this time I was half ready to throw up myself.
Cleaned my hands thoroughly, and then set about making myself lunch. Which was fresh orange juice. And takes about as long to cook noodles.

Post lunch and skype-spaz session with Vicky, I came out to find more puke which I also had to mop up.

I also had to rush off to hang out the clothes even though it was four and there was no sun, simply because I kept forgetting to hang them out.
Once that was done, and I felt all satisfied with myself, I walked out and found yet another pool of puke.

So I bloody soaked the sodding mop in cleaning agents, mopped the kitchen and then the one puke puddle outside it.


So, here I am. At home but unrested. Well that's a lie, I've been site hopping a lot and texting A LOT even though I actually really don't like texting that much. (this is really how lazy I am) I love receiving texts though! hahahah

So there we go, a lot of work for a very lazy girl.
I'm going to go work out and head for dinner now.
I ought to key in my Western Civilization answers first though.


For Ron,

so that for about a minute and a half, you can pretend you're not here

This is what I'm in love with(:

Saturday, February 20, 2010

word association: Happiness


You blow my mind sometimes.
Your singing, threading your lyrics carefully into the bits of me that never wanted to believe.
Your lies, oh your lights.
They've warned me, they've chided me and they call me foolish.
Eejits, they think they know better.
How can they when they have never felt,
when they have never known you.
Your lights and oh, your lies.
The way the cold of you bites at me, the way your warmth fills me.
Right under my feet, it feels like this could be my forever.
Like this cigarette will never run out, like this stage will never collapse.

You are not home, but my word, you come so close.
And it is more than enough for me,
it is.
Your lies, and oh your lights.
They don't have to be as bright as they say,
but you're my path away from this
And it is enough for me,
your lights and oh, your lies.

Friday, February 19, 2010

To get Vicky excited(:

Whaddya think Vicky?

*SCREAMS* shopping! Which i will not to do any of, when we go over):

These are the twin-bedded rooms
and then,
in case you want to,
we get access to the pool in the affiliated hotel right across the road!

ps: yes that's Victor in the middle.

you want baby?(((((((((((((((((:

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

so cradle your head in your hands

I'd like to get away.
Just for a day maybe. A day or so.
I'd like to get away.
To not think about what you might think of me or what I think of myself.
I'd like to get away.
If only just so that I may breathe again.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I was trying desperately to find a picture of myself looking freaking chinky.
But I couldn't.
So I settled for Aunty instead (I'm in white. and red that is)
Don't complain,

soooooo, this picture was also taken years ago. And I do mean years.
Years ago like, "before the end of my first relationship" kind of time frame.

It was quieter this year.
I'm sure a few families were hiding out to avoid the throngs of strangers' children that they'd have to dole out money to. But on top of that, in terms of my friends, where there used to be like 5,6 of us (plus random fighting fish) there were only four of us. Three, inclusive of me, by the time we got back to my place.
quite sad.

over the course of this period, clearly few of us haven managed to get any studying done and I am tired out of my eyeballs. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
But i'm having such an insanely fat week because being a woman, one tends to experience the "fat and ugly week" once a month.
Boys, you DO NOT know how good you have it. Don't even begin to try and compare this with your massive surge of hormones when you were thirteen and had to have alone time like 924540295784508630610601386586 million times a day.
At least you grow out of it.

But this is like, on of the few reasons I don't like being a girl.
I generally LOVE being a girl.

V, Vic and I also made this mayjah decision last night to not go to Australia in June and head for Bangkok instead. I do love Bangkok, I do. But I was looking forward so so much to Australia.
And it kills me, this knowledge that I will likely not see Bird or D for maybe two, three years at least. I get this feeling i'm more likely to see D than Bird, because at least she has cousins in the States.
oh woe is me.

On a brighter note, the lunch and the last five minutes of sermon were nice. I feel horrid for missing out on so much. Trust me, I am kicking myself now.
Practice after that was really nice too(:
I likey.
Plus, to top of my really nice day, I got to meet Asher and, *GASP* Wesley, who I haven't seen in five years! Everyone's all grown up now:/

I also realized, like at seven thirty or something this evening, that after talking quite a bit to Sam Choo today, while at his place, I failed to realize that it was, in fact, HIS BIRTHDAY.
And a very important birthday at that! It wasn't like 43 going on 44 or like, 7 going on 8. He has officially hit the big Two-oh.
How can that not be a big deal?
So I called and apologized, and then told him he was an old man.
To which he replied, "Thanks"

It's back to work tomorrow, and lunch with Qing, which I'm looking forward to. I'm missing hanging out with him so much! ):
Lets hope we don't all keel over now! I am SO tired.

So last call,
9pm, 17th Feb 2010 (Wednesday, tomorrow)
101 Dunlop street,
Prince of Wales
Really near Little India Station

We're doing covers for about two hours.
But what's special about this is that it's the first time in five years that I'll be singing with this band again. It's not the full band, but close enough. And I love singing with them:D

So come by, have a drink, hang out, chew on the stranger's arm beside you.
Hope to see you.


Sunday, February 14, 2010


Here's wishing you guys a wonderful and prosperous (I only use this word cos it's a very chinese word) Lunar New Year:D

Hope everyone's been having fun slipping food to the dog under the table, catching up with cousins/friends and doing silent comparisons or just generally (and honestly) enjoying the company of people you rarely see.

Jerilyn, who's in LA says she's seen one Chink family having a reunion dinner and she's a tad envious, and I figure, that's how I might feel. So I'm appreciating this for aaaaaaaall it's worth. Which also means getting the hell off the computer.

Have fun kiddies and be nice to the oldies!

Charis Vera and her new boyfriend

Happy Valentine's Day

or Chinese New Year.
As TLC says though, Chinese New Year totalled pwns V day.

Shame, considering it's my last.
Had a chat with someone over msn and I realized the brilliance and the awesomeness of spending V day in the company of theee most amazing friends, a few bottles of wine, a tonne of smoke and sticks of cheese.

Sometimes, without realizing it, I end up gloating about how brilliant it is, spending special hols with my close friends. Sorry):

So yes, it's my last Valentine's Day in Singapore and we're spending it tidying up the house. Come to think of it, I haven't actually been asked out on Valentine's Day for the last four (including this one). In fact the last Valentine's Day that was very Valentine's Day-y was when I was still living in Pasir Ris.
strange that.

So it's Chinese New Year and my room is a bloody tip. It's horrid, and my sister's outside talking about CNY decorations when we've already got them but she wants to do the place up so more although frankly, I don't see why.
It's like, looking for more Christmas decor on Christmas Eve. I feel that way anyway, I mean, if we've waited til the last minute there's hardly time to enjoy it anyway.
I hope to God that we don't get more CNY decorations, think about the trees and the money! Yes I know we leave those things up all year round but it's not a good thing, you know.

please, no more no more.

I mean, we've got to bloody get mandarin oranges for starters. There're important things to do and get! We're so freaking unprepared for CNY this year that it's bloody awful.

Anyway, whatever.
Happy Valentine's Day kiddies, we're all gonna need the wine to get us through these few days!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

and my skin misses your fingers, the way my fingers miss your skin

Just a little bit of a something

Almost desperate, in some way, to have you communicate with me sometimes.
Sometimes, not always.
To the point where I read a non-conversational line that you've written, over and over and over again. Just reading it carefully, in detail, so that I won't miss out on even the little bit that you might have to say to me.
Even when there is nothing, really, that you have to say to me.

The awful thing about realization is that sometimes it comes when you aren't looking.
When you're just, poking around and prodding at things that you are otherwise generally very comfortable and contented with.
And when realization comes, you have to say it out so that you know it. But it gets painful sometimes, even if it's just a wee bit.

Generally speaking, I am fine.
I am loved, I am comfortable with where I am. I'm not just content, I am happy. Truly.
I have space, I have work, I have time.
And in that moment that I ended up in the middle of a dissection, I half wondered if I was actively looking for something to be discontented with.
But I wasn't, I am not.

In fact, if I take a couple of steps back, I'm still just as happy and comfortable.
It's just the little bits I suppose.
The acknowledgement of the possibility that, not everything he's said is true or real.
That maybe, quite likely, you are the disease rather than the antidote.
That you are, in actual fact, not that utterly enthralling special thing he tells you you are.
That really, you're just like the rest of them.

It's okay, I suppose. It's not like I can help it.
But it's a tad painful all the same.

There isn't any way to think this, let alone say it, without sounding petty and childish and self-absorbed. But it's something that's gnawed away bits of me over time.
And honestly, I'm sorry that I think these things and feel this way. Even though it's in rare moments or only right at the back of my mind and in a corner.

Because the thing is, I know I must mean something.

It's just that, for a lot of the time I used to feel like I had to keep trying and trying and trying.
And then I didn't anymore, and no one's making up for it.
At the same time we're all busy anyway and we all need our space.
So if you put all that together, toss in a few phonecalls, dinners and rants over drinks every other week or two, that's pretty much all there is to it.

It's me, and I'm annoyed at myself because two seconds before this it was all fine and dandy.
And yes I've known for ages that I'm not a choice favourite,
but then suddenly I'm just kind of wondering if this'll go on for ages, and if that would be okay.
Somedays I think it will be, but other days, I think I'll wake up to find that everything isn't where I've left it and then I'll just have to deal with it.

Or maybe I can dig a hole for myself, crawl in and count to a hundred.
You can't see me if I can't see you, right?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

sweet seats

It's fucking hilarious. and strange.
and hilarious.
It's just two minutes and it'll make your week!

"Well you don't post that often either!" "I DO" "NO" "I don't. dammit"

I didn't realize it'd been this long! I swear!
So although I'm pretty sure my blog doesn't get read that much, I'm sorry if you actually took the time to have a look-see, just to find that it's a week old.

To be honest, I haven't really had the time.
I haven't touched Kirsten (this mini laptop that I use regularly) in a few days.
I read emails on my cell, check out facebook and tweet like a twit all on my cell phone. Just so tired these days.

Okay but just to make up for my laziness, here's something to make you smile and keep on reading!


So, quick update. If I haven't been working, I've been studying, if not, I've been sleeping. I kid you not, it's that bad.
I did however, manage to catch a movie with V, D and Vic a couple of nights ago (i think it was. my days fuse together) It was an artsy thing called Kisses, and I absolutely loved it.
I even cried, that's how much I loved it.
I'm sorry, no I did not cry in Avatar. At all. I kid you not.
D seemed bored although she did pay attention hahaha and V was just mentally vibing the characters (through the screen) not to kiss. But they did.
Check out what I think here!

Or just scroll down, if you're not poking through archives.

Aside from that, I missed Steph's farewell because I was rehearsing with Wang and Roshen.
Yeeeeap, that's right, after five years of not playing together, and hardly even being in contact, I'm doing a tiny thing with them next Wednesday.
It's been suchhhh a long while!
Okay so for you folks who're interested, it's :

Wednesday, February 17th 2010
Prince of Wales
101 Dunlop Street

What else do I have up?
My third finger got stabbed, like literally STABBED by Buttons this morning. Trying to be all affectionate and cuddly, she stepped on my hand and a single claw sank into my finger. Now it feels like a bloody painful blister.

Today was an absolutely lovely end to my week(:
It was the first day of Northbrooks Sec 2s and they were just such an amazing bunch. Becs says I always get the nice class for some reason, which isn't always true but they were so lovely today!
Brilliant kids(:

I want to study now, I do.
Except I feel more inclined to curl up in bed and sleep. I was supposed to go jogging tonight too.
Pah, like that'll happen.



(I love this poster more than the other one. It's tonnes prettier)

I think what I loved about this show was the simplicity of it.
It wasn't your typical four part- Introduction, rising conflict, conflict, conclusion.
The introduction was more or less your rising conflict. What you first think is the conflict comes very early on, and then post that, is another rising conflict-conflict-cycle all over again.
(pointless trying to put it into words!)

It wasn't so much a, brace yourself brace yourself BOOM CONFLICT ending thing.
More like this, entire journey with the humps and bumps and crashing into each other sort of thing. Most beautiful of all was how it ended.
Considering the fact that they asked to be taken home. Considering they knew exactly what lay in wait for them. Considering they never did find out whether Dylan's brother was dead or alive.

For the time they ran away, they were themselves and they were free.
Their initial motivation for running away from home faded into this common knowledge that what they were running away from was in actual fact, part of their (more or less) everyday life. To turn their back on their newfound freedom and come home to what isn't necessarily the less of two evils, shows this intense deepening and changing of both characters.

Coming home, it was a big thing. And in a matter of days, they had grown into young adults, at all of twelve, thirteen. The didn't go home just to "face the music". The initial troubles; The broken windows, the fight, the worry, those weren't just what they were going home to.
Going home meant actively returning to their life of emotional and/or verbal abuse.

And that last bit, where they just faced each other, without a word. It was beautiful because there was just so much that was right between them. So much that they could hold on to, but that might shatter if you touched it.
Then the families, both their families, yanked them away from each other. They broke that spell, that beautiful moment. But because they broke everything else around those two kids, what they had between them remained intact. And that'd turn out to be something they can go back to when everything else around them falls apart.
And it will.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Crossing the Rubicon

I love the ache in my body right after a good fight.
Two weeks out and I hopped back in. It was good and I hate that I've missed out for so long.
At the same time, I managed to complete one out of two chapters of Western Civilization. That means half my assignment is done.

Strangely, I was up early today, scurrying off for breakfast with momsie.
I meant to do my assignment, but then the machine got started (I personally don't think it's very bright to start the machine if you can't hang the clothes out yourself unless you've actually asked someone beforehand. nevermind though)

So there's that to do as well as getting ready because I have to leave in an hour. I might just be a bit of a geek and bring my work out. Western Civilization is incredibly interesting! I wish I could remember eeeeeeverything that I've learnt so far because it really is interesting.

I'm walking a bit funny now cos it turns out i might have kinda dislocated my kneecap, and when it was righting itself, it clipped a nerve. Good going Charis, good going.
It was stupid, even! I was trying to knee him except you can't knee when you're standing at a normal distance.
I've a lot more to learn clearly. Wish I wasn't so like, all over the place. DAMMIT.

Been so tired/busy/busy being tired (not because of work, mind you!) that i don't even have time to write down my schedule in my schedule book. How silly.

Anyway, I haven't cleared my cell phone inbox since coming back from HK which was like, a week before Christmas. So last night I scanned through the more-than-2-thousand texts (not all, clearly. i missed out on the bulk cos i was sooo tired) chucked some into a folder for safe-keeping and chucked the rest out.

There were texts from Justin like weeks before he left and then I realized I really miss him being around Singapore. Whether he sends some snide remark about a smelly person on the bus or just randomly texts "!!!" to me, it was always a very Justin-y thing to receive via text. Which I don't anymore, clearly. And I kind of miss that.

And then now I don't know if I'm ready,

for you to leave either.

Of course it's never about you (the ones left behind) but it's just like, so many of us upping and leaving. Inclusive of me I suppose.
I never thought it'd feel this way. And I am plagued by this idea that there are so many things that I take for granted that I might possibly never be able to get to do with you guys again.

I'm absolutely sure we'll meet up again, whether in a month, six or a few years. And I don't think we'd drift apart because what we have is special (how many people can say that out of their group of friends most of them have a scar caused by the same person! hahahaha)
But it's just, well little things.

CNY, for example. We won't house hop together anymore, as a group, taking turns to zone out at each other's places and realize that "hey eme, there's a fighting fish in your tank" to which she replies, "HAHAH. don't be stupid." pauses and then goes, "FUCK THERE'S A FIGHTING FISH IN MY FISH TANK. WHEN DID THAT GET THERE?"

Or on birthdays, alternating between smashing cake into each other's face (although as we've gotten older we seem to smear it on ourselves. like at D's birthday this year, for picture 463) and getting pissed out of our minds and having grand lesbian orgies until we pass out in the living room.

Or even our very very contant Once-a-week meetups where we just say "cheers to the end of a hellish week and to a more hellish one that will follow"

We will see each other for sure, but I'll miss our everyday patterns that make this us.
And by then, all I'll have is a little cluster of coloured stars tattooed onto me. Which, frankly speaking, is not half as responsive as talking to you guys.

I had an awful nightmare about Bird leaving and not even realizing it. So I woke up very panicky, and then the pain of my relocated knee cap brought me back to my room.

I miss you guys already you know.
Being able to call Vicky up just to go ORHORH (although I've got another five months to do that still), texting D (we've never had long phone conversations i realized. except once when i was very drunk and sitting on the edge of my window sill. hahaha), chatting online/tennis match-texting Bird and going for insanely long days of blading at East Coast, calling Victor a girl, watch Eme magically warp her face into something so monstrously, grotesque and beastly and then strive to better that. I miss Ann, talking with her in my room (which she used to say always made her crave tuna sandwiches).
I miss knowing that we're right there, an arms' length away from each other.

before I go all sniffly and sappy on you guys I'd best make a move.
It's just that, suddenly everything's moving so quickly. And, as we always do, I wish I had more time to hold onto the right now.

Well that's that then, we'll cross the Rubicon one at a time and meet each other on the other side. After that we'll smile at what we had then, and appreciate what we have now.

Love you guys tonnes.

Friday, February 5, 2010


I cannot take it anymore. I can't.
If I wait another day, surely I will die. I cannot do this, I can't.
I will leave as soon as I possibly can.

For Muay Thai.


I don't understand how I could possibly have missed out on so much. I feel like crying, that's how bad it is!
And February is a grossly short month too. There'll be another week out while my coach goes home. Darn.
I'm so frustrated with myself.

Anyway, I seem to be meeting new and incredibly fun people this year! It's SO weird because I don't reeeeeeaaaally socialize. Especially not on set and stuff. I mean I do, but I don't figure I'd ever see them again. Like ever.

But generally, stuff looks all padded out and fun this year.



My eyes are tired but I've finally managed to poop.
Not that you need to know. But it's definitely made me less grumpy.

If I can do it, I'll get my tattoos done earlier. Or maybe.
dammit, i'll be out for another week or so while I recover. I'll just do them both like a four five days apart or something.

The year is good. It is good.
It feels like it'll continue to be too(:
We don't have time for each other anymore.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I was never meant to be here.

When I first arrived in Singapore as a child, I was laughed at, made fun of or altogether ignored because of my accent. Local kids hated me.
They either made fun of me in my face, or they said I was ugly (because of my accent?) and/or proud (because of my accent. i think. and the way i walk)

Troubled, sad, desperate to fit in (and who wouldn't want to, at that age?), I learnt to speak like the people around me. I left no trace of having ever lived or having learnt to speak in Scotland. All that was left was a strange, almost-Singaporean-like accent, peppered with very Brit pronunciations. Like strawberries (strough-breeze), medicine (medi-sen. Never max-sen), Wednesday (wensday, never weh-nes-day) and a few other words.

The same thing happened when I got into primary school and I spent most breaks eating out of my lunchbox at the grandstand that overlooked the school field. Or I would wander around the eco-garden and talk to the animals there. I would spend entire recess periods in the fenced up area that contained the chicken coop and I would carry them and talk to them. Or to the rabbits. or to the squirrels. or to the tadpoles and the baby frogs that were only just losing their tails.
Failing all, I would wander about in the tiny garden, on the cobblestone path. I'd run my palm over forget-me-nots and share tiny bits of my sandwich with the Koi.
The best friends I had when I was in lower primary were these two girls on my schoolbus. They understood me, they laughed and we went quite manic with the most random ideas. They were Janice Yue and Charmaine Koh. We remained quite close throughout primary school and we're still friends now, although just not as close. But they were just brilliant for me back then.

As my accent gradually toned down again, I started mixing with my classmates a bit more and especially when I went to childcare, all hope of speaking decently went completely out the barred windows.
Turning eleven brought about the peak of this. Along with the fact that the coolest thing at the time was tO tYpE lYk DiS lOrX. So yes, I even had my ah lian phase.
Embarrassingly, I made a deliberate effort to type lYk DiS tEw JaMeS aNd tEll hIm sKeWlX fInIsH LiaOx in my emails. Maybe to prove that I fit in here, that I was cool or something.
(sigh. eleven year olds.)

Throughout this time though, as it still does til this day, my Brit accent would come out particularly strong when
1)I'm ordering or talking to service staff
2)I'm sad or angry
3)I'm talking to strangers
4) When I'm reading aloud or acting

When I went into Secondary school, I gave up on trying. I think I was tired. I didn't know what was cool and people still told me off for pronouncing salmon as seh-mon, insisting it was pronounced sellmon. I gave up. I was tired and I figured, Bird still understood me so at least I'd have one friend in school.

It's been a long time since and I've come ages from that kid in nursery now. I laugh at it, I tell people and they go, "aww poor kid" but it's really funny. I don't mind what I went through because I'm very much myself and very comfortable now.
At the end of the day, I still laugh because now, years on, some people try to pick up my accent when they talk to me and then they sound a bit strange. So no more issues.
I think.

Teaching, you'll always have curious children asking why you sound different. And I answer them honestly and when it makes sense to them, we carry on with our lesson. Of course I make an extra effort to tone it down so that they understand me better.
ie; saying jelly instead of jello/ char kway teow instead of creme brule/ cannot lar, epic fail instead of you cannot do this because it does not make the slightest bit of sense.

I'm okay with it, I am.

And then today, at the tuck shop, I stood second in line. I waited for five ten minutes before getting my turn. Why? because a hoard of boys just came up beside me and ordered. The stall owners said nothing.
I cannot help saying this, but this would never have happened in PL.

Tired, when it came to my turn, I asked for "a bottle of water." The child beside me mimicked my accent in an inaccurate, typically childish Singaporean, warped and ogre-ish way. He was right beside me. Right beside me and he did this.
Of course it did not help that the stall lady did not understand me. He carried on mocking me for the length of time it took them to understand me. Which was approximately the time it took me to say, slowly, "a bottle of water" about four times.

I stared at him aghast, the first time it happened. And I thought about the things I could do and say to him. But at that point, I was just so tired and drained from the class that had just ended that I couldn't even summon the energy to roll my eyes at him.

It stung. And I left the school in tears on the phone with Mommy. Just like I used to be, when I called her during recess, back in Primary school.
My reaction surprised me as did whatever I felt. I thought it was long gone, something I'd gotten over a lifetime ago.

But I suppose some things will still sting.
And children, can be the most evil of the lot.

leave your emtional baggage at the door please, but don't forget it on your way out!

I'm tired as hell.
I desperately need sleep.

I do not understand why you're snapping at me like this, or why after snapping, you've continued with this attitude of being generally irritated or annoyed with me. (which is strange considering I haven't done anything to offend you. Other than asking why my things were not in my room I suppose, in a possibly less than nice way)

But I don't understand how half an hour in you can still hold on to that irritation. Or close the door as I'm asking you something.

We're all tired, so I don't think it is particularly fair to be faced with something like this right now.
Especially right now.

I'm going to go to sleep now.
I'm going to pass out.
I think sometimes I kind of wish I will.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I think I just might collapse out of sheer exhaustion.
Exhaustion from thinking about what I have to do next.
I wanted to nap, but I don't have the time anymore. I feel like I'm dying.

I hope I have enough time to bathe before I keel over. I'd hate to smell of school children when people are clearing my lifeless body.

Monday, February 1, 2010

I am annoyed and irritated.

Because I was dying to go for Muay Thai today.
Because I was desperate in a way that made me feel like I might collapse from the sheer lack of Muay Thai.
Because I've been away from it for more than a week and I promise you, it feels more physically annoying than not having sex for more than a week.

It is madness.

But there are things to do today, and things that I find difficult to work around. And right now, I cannot, I cannot work around it.
I wanted to make myself better by going for a swim, but then I have to rush around and do other things of higher priority and importance but which does not, give me a nice tan.

On top of that, I need to take a dump.
But I'm off coffee and smokes and can't seem to take a freaking dump.


Anyway, on a happier note.

Not that this picture is at all happy because we were sending him off but I couldn't find my skype pictures. WHERE ARE THEY DAMMIT.

I had a lovely chat with Justin last night which resulted in a lot of spazzing and a lot less tearing up and going "omg I wish i could talk. I feel like I'll never see you again."
I think the working mic made a world of difference. Well it wasn't the mic's fault, just msn.
Which is why I hate msn.

I'm having a splitting headache. I want to keep hopping into the shower because I love showering.

I'm having lunch with Asher.
At least I get to see a decent human being every now and then.

I am annoyed that i don't get to swim and tan.
bloody hell.