The orange glow out of tiny windows

Quiet nights like these,
they remind me of San Francisco.

With its chilly winter air, my freezing hands stuffed into my Berkeley sweatshirt,
and alternating between smoking cognac cigar-ettes and the pack of marlbaro ice I'd brought over from Singapore.
The calm and peace, settled over the city,
"Happy New Year!" being called out randomly by strangers and us yelling back in response.
Hot chocolate and asking to sit outside, when it was just, absolutely freezing out.

The feel of sitting outside the hotel, by myself, taking in everything, in all its brilliance.


mmmmm,
Frisco.
Every night should be like the ones you gave me, or at least close to.

I will go to sleep tonight,
and have Soon After Christmas playing on repeat.


and in the quiet shadows of the early morn,
wake to find us tangled, laced,
and the sound of your sleepy smile as i run my nose down your jawline.

For Ron,

so that for about a minute and a half, you can pretend you're not here





This is what I'm in love with(:

No more wishing

The first breath of fresh air I take in upon arrival, the smells, the sounds. The everything that makes me feel like I was meant to be here.


I don't revisit my old pictures all the time. Because I don't want to start missing it too much. I often think that if I don't miss it so much, then it'll be easier to walk around.
But it's one of those days and I'm looking back at the pictures I'd forgotten I'd taken while I was there.
On one hand I'm happy that it's just a matter of time. On the other hand, I'm afraid of myself because I'm getting so impatient. And I need to remind myself that everything will fall into place in its own time.

I know sometimes I talk about it too much, but maybe you'll see just how incredibly beautiful this place is and how insanely in love with it I am.
And when I think about being happy as a day-to-day thing, I think about waking up here and burying my nose in the duvet that smells of my life.


And mind you, all these pictures i took weren't exactly with the best of cameras either.
It's like the overwhelming beauty of everything makes the photographs look like they were taken with a decent camera.

Oh gosh, I miss it so much. I can't wait to go now.

And there'll be no more Last Sunsets in San Gabriel for me.
<3

all the things we wish for, in August

like Christmas.
LA.
Christmas in LA.
Frozen yoghurt on freezing nights and the neighbours' christmas lights.
Mist from water fountains.
Pink cotton candy too large to finish.
Toes that curl in the cold and coats that are only just warm enough.
Early mornings and four o clock sunsets.
Breakfast with Lee's Coffee and Mr. Baguette.
Wind blowing your hair back and restaurants with their heat cranked up.
Happy pigeons and glad little furry caterpillars.

Christmas in LA.

what Squidge produced

So as I've probably mentioned before, I've got a baby named Squidge.
She's a tiny camera, smaller than the size of your palm. Squidge's best friend is a fish-eye camera, and is the exact same size as her (except with a huge round lens).

I took them both on my LA Trip and only just managed to collect the photographs.
Because they use 110mm film which is pretty much non-existent, it cost a bomb to get these photographs developed. As if that wasn't bad enough, most of them due to over-exposure/under-exposure/ sunlight sneaking into my film canister, most of the pictures out of the 72 are grey and blank.
I was quite quite upset, to say the least. And it cost me like, fifty bucks just to get them developed.

I figured I'd be lucky if I could get just ten or so decent pictures out of the 72.
I managed to get twenty. Somehow though, I don't feel that much more ecstatic.

Those that survived though, are terribly pretty.
Of course they're not your ordinary sort of pictures where clarity is taken for granted. They're pretty old school, some of them grainy, and some of them over-exposed in a way that is still rather pretty. I'm not a photographer, that title is held by my baby sister.
But the stuff's pretty neat and I'm quite proud of the outcome, although it's all of twenty pictures.

Needless to say, no more cute little gadgets for me. Shoes are SO much more worth it.
And they look better in pictures too!

Anyway! Here they are((:




mPersonal Favourite, this one. All of the above were in San Francisco.
The series below us is from the fish-eye. (I was thinking of calling it Dory. teehee)

I love this one(:



Oh these two that just passed were in Frisco too((:
That's Jacq, and the lawn
And that's the lawn from the front door, which no one ever enters by.


That's my pap-pap, we're right outside HSBC.

Costco, and feeble attempt to take artsy shots.Dog in the next car.


Well well, for those that turned out brilliantly, I'm awfully happy.
But there's a whole lot that didn't come through. So I guess you've to imagine the rest of the fifty shots.
Think beautiful skyline, clouds, flowers, fountains, and long empty roads lined with orange trees that look like they belong on a postcard.


xoxo

This is impossible.
My stopover in Taiwan is eleven hours. I hate the whole being so freaking close and yet so far away. The worst bit is the wait. Groan.

We'll probably be able to get out of the airport for walkabouts and all that.
But still.

eurgh

All left in bubble wrap and plastic

Glenn's aaaaalways eyeing my yoghurt!
Aurora the Penguin! Save the animals because they love you too!


So we've pretty much just been busy having a swell time, eating Ghiradelli brownies for breakfast and having coffee so strong that IF I got affected by coffee, I'd be buzzing after half a cup.

But too much chocolate, just like other good things like sex, cotton candy and sleep gets one a widdle bit dizzy. (I just said that because I had a couple of bites of brownie)

ANYWAY,
it's the second last day of being in gorgeous, brilliant San Gabriel and the world has already begun! Everyone's back at school/ work/ bum-busyness.
I've just got one more important present to pick up in Taipei. Other than that, I've completed all my shopping. I'm even too lazy to buy booze at DFS, yeah, fo' shizz man. Imagine that.

Today's my pap-pap's actual birthday, so we'll be going out with my gramps today.
It's strangely sad actually, because I haven't seen much of my grandparents since coming back from Frisco. For one, my granny was ill for a while. As were quite a few people actually. We seem to have given them a very nice Christmas present- our cold.

Believe it or not, I'm completely done with packing. Developing of my 110mm film will def. have to wait til I'm back in Singapore because they don't do it here.

There's that whole air around of constantly packing and repacking, making things easier and more convenient. Fortunately (or Unfortunately) I'm still quite fresh from my move and so, am quite proud of the way I've packed things. Out of my four pairs of new shoes, I've taken two out of their boxes. One of them being a pair of five-ish inch heels which can be doubled up as a weapon. Had to wrap that up in a skirt which i did NOT use this trip. Bloody waste of space I say! Two skirts which I didn't wear, terribly disappointed with myself, can't stand it. It's taking up precious space, I'll have you know!

Anyway, I'm off to soak up precious remaining minutes here.

xoxo

You can never get far enough away from them weirdos

Crikey, they follow you all around don't they?
I've just been getting the most absurd friendster messages these days! That's what that site's become now, has it?
My word!

I bought TLC's Christmas present today and just finished packing all my stuff, save for what I'll need in the next couple of days.
Now everyone sayyyy,
"YAY CHARIS!"
That's right, my entire holiday, being wrapped up in plastic, in bubble wrap, in new clothes and put away.

I watched Transformers too(((:
Complete with surround sound, although they kept going on at me for not catching it in theaters.
My cousin's wife went to watch it three times!

Bed time now. it's half past two on a monday morning.

I am so incredibly frustrated right now.
But it's not bad enough, because actually my day has been incredibly fantastic, as has been my evening, as has been my entire trip.
But then there's all these tiny in-betweens that are impossibly infuriating.

Of course, when those are noted then it's sorted out.
But otherwise.
And God, I'm probably not making any sense at all to you right now.

But it's really times like these that I seriously appreciate my immediate family.

"Just remember kid, it's all bullshit"

So my New Years' Day was quite fantastic. No biggo party, but I checked out the University I'm hoping to get into, had great brunch and came home to those legendary home-cooked dinners that we've been having SO DAMN much of but I swear, one does not get sick of.

Back when I was dating Alastair, my entirefamily clan knew about it within the first half year and my cousins, (over-protective, amazing and caring cousins they are), said,
"Well lets see how much he eats, first."

The Little Creature has been on Joejoe's xbox most of this time, finding her way around Assassin's Creed. Well, what she did in an hour, my cousin's friends (boys, all of them) took five hours.
So kudos to her(:

It's great here, as it always is. I'm happy as a clam and glad like a furry caterpillar.

So today saw me having a nice breakfast, before heading to the movies with my cousin where we caught Yes Man. Shame, I'm gunning for movies which aren't released in Asia yet. TEE HEE.
Fucking hilarious, as was Marley & Me, which we saw on New Year's Eve Night (and which made me cry like fuck)

My pap-pap's party celebrating his eightieth is tomorrow evening. After that, it'll mean three more days til I'm on the eleven o clock flight to Singapore where I can get my free baby kangaroo from Victor!

Believe it or not, after four pairs of shoes, pretty pink things from Victoria's Secret and my hoard of Christmas presents, I'm a bit lazy to shop.

Omg, I just measured my shoes and realized that they're only five and a quarter inch (the highest pair, from Aldo). Shit. Gonna have to get one that beats my six inch now. So ignore the last sentence. haha.

Anyway, a couple of movies that you guys ought to catch once it's out in Singapore
(Just in case you guys haven't caught the trailers) --
Bride Wars
He's just not that into you
Watchmen (it's great for the guys too!)

Anyway, I'm off for Banana Split after dinner at a place called Fosselman which has been around since my granduncle was a born. Which is like, 1913 or something.

I've got fantastic news to tell you guys when I'm back. hehe

To 2009

Pop the champagne for me, because there's no alcohol, here on New Year's.
The night out with my cousin's family was great, complete with fantastic dinner and a movie and lovely dessert.

It's quieter this year, a lot quieter.
It's also the first year that my mommy's got somewhere to be and I don't. I'm glad for her though, because she wouldn't have this much fun on a New Year's back in Singapore. It's just that well, I don't have anywhere to be.

But quiet is good.
They often say that the way you enter into the New Year is the way you'll be for the rest of the year. If this means quiet and at the computer for me, I don't quite mind I suppose.
Big year ahead to prep for.
By big I mean, it's this stepping stone to a lot of other bits and pieces of my life.

I'll get to travel a bit. Quite a bit in fact, which I really like.
So, yay me(:

So 2008.
Well, 2008 is, well, over.
But it was also incredibly eventful with so many many things to remember and lock away.
Forget sweet sixteen and legal eighteen, the fun bit is the in between. (that SO rhymes, which sounds a bit cheesy but is cute nonetheless!)

So well, I went into this year with no expectations whatsoever. It's the year to be wasted, they all said, cos it's not like you can do a damn thing. Not legally anyways.

But, life is always what you don't plan for.
So I found myself grappling with stuff I wasn't ready for at the time, on top of getting scared now and then of growing up too fast and all that bullshit.

Anyway, it's probably just the inspiration of popsicle feeties and feeling sad,
but for the most part, I'm scared I'm not ready for 2009.
It's different. I don't have a major exam to be working up for. There's this consistency that I need, to guarantee me a place in University. And there's all that other crap, like which University, school fees, scholarships, loans. Things I used to just talk about with the knowledge that it was far away enough for me to still dream about.

I've been crying too much today.
And I'm crying thinking about one of the first things I cried about, which honestly shouldn't really matter.

There's so much I don't want to think about, but I know I'm deliberately not thinking about those things, which make me want to think about them even more.

Anyway, what the fuck, it's New Year's.
Alcohol isn't the only thing that makes me happy.

So, to a brilliant 2009 to the rest of you!

So, it's 11:15pm on New Year's Eve in San Gabriel, California.

And it's 11:15pm, on New Year's Eve.

Merry Merry Christmas!

It's half past nine, and although the Christmas party's over, it sure was fantastic!

There a few things that run in my family:
1) The guys are all, without a doubt, fantastic cooks.
2) We drink a lot. Like, I mean, a FUCKING lot.
3) We all sing and karaoke.
4) We drink a lot.

So I've got the last fifth of my fantastic, homemade sangria sitting right beside me and I'm realizing, it was a pretty damn good Christmas.
It wasn't one of those I was used to, where the day was packed to the hilt. In fact, it was too cold and rainy (it was just a drizzle but the strong winds get you wet ASAP) to even go out for two minutes for a bloody smoke.

So we stayed in the whole day, I packed my corner of the room and dozed off for a half hour before doing mommy's makeup for tonight.
It was superb, swear to God.

The men got to the kitchen (the women cook fantastically too, but it stops at my mom's generation and then bounces around the kids) and whipped up an absolute storm!
So other than a whole lot of Sashimi (yellowtail) and crackers with cheese and tiny pieces of bread with pate + garlic, we haaaaaaaaad,
DRUM ROLL

Lobster soup!
There were more than twenty people in the house, and I don't think we've finished up the food yet!
So there were lots of lobsters in the soup, delicious, huge ones. As well as cockles and what not. One of the ones i ate had a baby crab in it. ):
And mymy, for something that's been cooking since 9am in the morning, you bet it tasted better than something out of a restaurant!

So I sat around with my drink which seemed to get topped up as soon as I had more than two mouthfuls of it, listening to my mom's generation throw about their share of crazy (and some rather dirty) jokes.
When the second round of Sashimi came out, my aunt's close friend (kinda like an uncle anyway!), said,
"My God, this is better than sex!"
He also made out with two of my other uncles. Hahaha, they are so incredibly mad! Their get-together reminds me of my nights out at random wine bars.
HEHE

Anyway, if there's anything better than Black Friday Sales (The day after Thanksgiving. One Walmart Employee was TRAMPLED to death this year), it's after Christmas sales.
More specifically, according to my cousin, after-New Year's Sales.
However, you might miss out your fair share that's been snitched up by the early birds.

Jc Penny's opening their doors at 5.30am tomorrow!
Bloody Hell, I really wanna go.
:/

Anyway, my throat's going crazy on me and I'm coming down with something terrible so ought to get to bed. Shit, I'm feverish.
Yep, at eleven on a Christmas night.
Diddums.

Can't wait to go to San Francisco. Think I need family time, been feeling very very VERY suffocated.

So, as a last off to all you knob-nibblers and Muff Munchers,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

xoxo

Happy Christmas

I'm getting sick of the word "merry".

It's Christmas, and it's my 517th post.
There's a whole lot of stuff that point to certain days being special but you know, whatever.

Everything and everywhere's closed, here on Christmas day.
So I bathed in the morning (which must mean it's damn special because just imagine the cold!),
and spent the next half hour on my makeup and whatever, and then realized thaaaaaat
we ain't goin' nowhere today.

Not that I mind, I guess.
My throat hurts like crazy, think I'm coming down with something.

Anyway, random update for you guys!
Number of new pairs of shoes at this point: Three!
A pair of gorgeous Aldo heels (for an unbelievable price!) which are a bit higher than my six inchies.
A gorgeous pair of new boots from Nine West
Tommy Hilfiger black flats.

I don't know why the older generation seem to have this grotesque habit of shouting at the lump in bed, before checking anything.
My grandma starts yelling at my mother's ill and sleeping figure, and my grandfather just yelled at my aunt who's also sick and in bed.
I'm ill but I think I'm gonna go out for a walk instead.
Christ.

Anyway, I headed out to Pasadena with Aunty Joanna yesterday. Everywhere was shut, even most of the restaurants. So we went to The Cheesecake Factory where I had a gorgeous rasberry cheesecake.


My my! What a lovely Christmas.
(sorry couldn't help that)
It's nice, really. I would say nice and quiet but it's not.


Oh yes, the first thing that happened to me on Christmas Day (like, after I woke up) :
My grandma walked in on her daughter (my mom) opening her present from us.
"Is it for their uncle?" She asks in cantonese. My mom says it's hers but my grandmother's rattling on and doesn't here.
"It's a fantastic gift for their uncle, considering their drinking habits and all that!"
"It's for me, mom." My mother says.
I'm right next to her, watching her open her present because I love watching people open presents.
"So you've to bring that on the plane? Hand-carry?!" My grandmother says, her voice raising.
Voices raise very easily over here.
"I guess," My mom says, smiling at me, "It's lovely."
"WAH!" My grandmother exclaims, "HOU (hen) HOU STUPID AH!"
Doesn't stop at just that though.
"Very very stupid! Very stupid!"

I push past and go into the living room, where starting from a couple of hours ago, the family's been unwrapping presents and whatnot.
"Merry Christmas!" I say. Like I was never in that room.
And as if to push me past any limits I might have, my grandmother comes into the living room, my mom trailing behind her, and she's still yelling,
"SO STUPID. SO STUPID TO BUY THIS THING!"

It was a five piece martini set.

My mom told me not to bother about what she said. But it's not that easy, really.
Still, I don't think I should whip out my blade on Christmas day.
Now I'm just trying to pick between comfort/ease/thrill as opposed to uhm, well nothing.

Don't worry, I won't.
I think I'm going to let my OCD kick in and start packing my fantastic buys.

After a bit of me-time in the cold of course.

and there are penguins, passed out in cocktail glasses and smiling at me with glazed eyes.

I still think I look awful and that you look incredibly cute.
So, indulge me.


I'm sitting in my red jammies. The ones TLC bought for me last Christmas. Mommy's in her matching white ones, with penguins all over it.

It's been a nice day, although it seemed particularly short.
Was incredibly cold and my mood ring(which is spoilt, and so, shows the opposite colour) turned a very very dark blue.(usually it means it's very hot, but my ring is a bit mad)
So, as wished upon me, I stuffed my face with cotton candy which was a lovely swirl of both pink and blue and cost about five bucks and COULD NOT be finished, even among JoeJoe (my cousin), TLC and I. Wow, eh?
So it's sitting in the fridge and is very nice and fluffy. I loooove.

We also bought slabs of fudge, as we always do.
It's just like, omg, just like insanely good, solidified chocolate.

My grandmother gave me this very cute ring, with real, albeit tiny, diamonds in it and a small ruby in the centre, alongside a couple of stones.
It's very pretty but, because she's so small,it only fits on my ring finger.
Mommy says it's perfect then, for keeping boys away. What in the world!

Anyway, it's not doing me much good, an hour into Christmas eve and listening to such a sad sappy, lonely song.
While back in Singapore, I scheduled a Christmas post for you girls, just in case I never managed to get to a computer. Keep a look out hons(:

I hear D's coming back! Please hug her for me(:

Have fun you guys.
KNN that sounded rather sad. I'm not.
Have fun!

xoxo

So it's the end of my second day here.
I've bought a tonne of stuff (which obviously I WILL take pictures of to put up).
We headed down to the factory outlets where, although Guess shades till cost fifty bucks a pop, my gorgeous boots from Nine West only cost sixty bucks.

It feels like forever since I travelled with my family.
I guess the last one was supposed to be for relaxation, when we went to Bintan (even that one to Batam was rather crazy).

My grandma said I lost weight though! yay me.

On a more plus side,
the cigars were peeeeerdy damn cheap at DFS.
dayum! (got that from TLC telling me about perez hilton and wanted to try it out. sounds cute)
Dayum.

It's my 510th post

And,
I'm in LA.

The journey was nice, but obviously we're all quite jetlagged.
I guess it's perpetuated by the move and the fact that we did not sleep at all right before flying off.
Should've brought Heather, they've got wireless, unlike last time.
Anyways, it'd have been better not bringing her than bringing her for naught.

It's nine pm right now, we're still on Sunday (Dec 21st) and I'm just going to shower and freaking crawl into bed because I am insanely tired.
I've always been excited about coming to LA.
The anticipation is sometimes the best part.

Well, I was too busy and tired to look forward to the trip. Coupled with this expectation that it's not all going to be ladeeda-ish and we might very well just be left to our own devices this trip. But it's been great in the first few hours, and I almost feel bad for having expected any less.

Their hugs are still just as tight, my grandmother's talk of me (to the relatives) just as fond, my aunts and uncles just as doting.
The celebratory dinner tonight was really nice. The entire family, plus some friends, came down. My cousin turned twenty-nine and we had a gorgeous tiramisu cake.

I've been speaking more cantonese than English, except to my sister.
Especially because my youngest cousin speaks brilliant cantonese in all her five years of age. It is sooo utterly adorable.

I'll be Christmas shopping tomorrow.

Give Bird hugs for me because I can only blow kisses at my screen,
and Thank You Victor, for picking up the shit we've left in pieces.

Love you guys, will update(: