And She Said

And she said
kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Don't make me a promise
that you'll only break
Kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Cos I am mostly tired
of trying
to keep myself safe

Stories whispered against your skin
and I love yous that bruise your arms
The pretties pictures drawn in the sand
and letters you send to the stars

Now I know dreams are just for dreaming
We forget the tunes to the songs
we wrote
Pictures weren't always meant for keeping
and there's a cold you can feel
in your bones

And she said
kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Don't make me a promise
that you'll only break
Kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Cos I am mostly tired
of trying
to keep myself safe

Quiet secrets beside still waters
Boxes we thought we had closed
tear-stained pages, in empty chapels
but with the knowing you're not on your own

Now I know dreams are just for dreaming
But don't let me forget
all the songs I will write
Leave me pictures good for framing
and at the end of the day
come back home

And she said
kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Don't make me a promise
that you'll only break
Kiss me like you mean it
hold me like you'll stay
Cos I am mostly tired
of trying
to keep myself safe

(C) May 2013

_______________________________________________________________________

You can write things a long time ago and then come back to it months, even years after to find that they still hold true. That there are some things that you still feel the same way about, even if they're slightly different things from an experience prior.
Just that maybe, the difference is that one is a little better equipped to deal with how one feels.
And that always helps.

Or.
You can write things that start off being about one person and then it turns out to be about another.
In fact, it's almost like, as you write, you realise you've discovered more about people you didn't even know you were writing about.

And then, sometimes, it's a mixture of all those things.
Sometimes it's about you, sometimes about her, and sometimes it's about someone completely outside of your own world.
Maybe that's the draw of writing- that lines of songs fleshed out with tunes can mean different things to (or for) different people, and that you can keep coming back to it and find something new.
For yourself, or y'know, someone else.

_________________________________________________________________________

now,

Don't make her a promise
that you'll only break

Sunrise, sunrise

So my trip is quickly drawing to a close.
It doesn't feel like there's been a lot of time y'know, between spending time with family and meeting friends. As yet I haven't completed half of my shopping list- and there isn't even a whole lot on that list.

Yep. The next time I'm here, I'll be in my own car, thanks very much.

It's been an amazing trip so far, for the most part. I've rediscovered just how much I love being on my own, and traveling on my own even more. I've met so many amazing people with so many stories and personalities and professions- it's crazy and I'm just so glad that I've met with all these different people. They're definitely what made my trip before I came hurtling through the windows into my grammy's living room.

In this time, there've been so many moments that I've had with people- ones that aren't (and can't be) captured on camera. Some are completely silent, some are just in the swapping of glances or an accidental slip of a joke. And there's something about not being able to stow it away for keeps physically that sort of make it nicer or more interesting to hold on to.

This trip,
It's been quite something.

-----------------------------------

Where am I, then?

I've run out

There are things I will learn to get used to.
That I will have to get used to.

Like on nights like these, for instance-
That when duty calls then,
Well, duty calls.

But there are parts of you I hope for, wish for...
That I hate myself for waiting for.
Because i have learnt that hoping will always leave you just that little bit sadder than you can brace yourself.


And i chide myself, bring myself back to how it's not your fault, not your doing.
And it isn't.

So all I'm left with is the job of packing our blanks into boxes.


And missing you.

Making up

So the weekend made things a lot better.
I guess I've really been missing being able to properly spend time with each other.

I must say, could've done without the food poisoning to end off my Tuesday night. But I am immensely grateful for the love and care and concern and looking-after that I got from the people around me. ☺☺

So.
Just like that, I'm in the middle of a new week.
I think I'm still in the middle of adjusting and still trying to sort through outstanding things that need sorting out. It's a whole new set of problems, I guess, when your deadlines are your own and when you need to work out time frames that match other people's as well.
But. I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. I just need to get to it. As soon as my tummy feels tip top and I'm less...
Sluggish.

Que sera sera

Tuesday afternoon, after teaching the most amazing learning-needs class in the entire term combined, I found myself stopping off in King Albert Park's Cold Storage.
It was just to pick up a couple of things for baking later on, and it was a pretty quick trip. But as I smiled at the cashier and made off with fresh blueberries and such, I thought-
This is the kind of mother I want to be.

I want to be able to work as much and as long as I need to, but also have days where I can fill my home with the smell of recipes I may or may not be the most confident about.

I want to hear my children tripping over themselves as they scramble through the front door and have them know there'll be Paleo Banana bread still warm from the oven that'll be waiting for them when they're put the shower.

And I want you home in time for dinner, sneaking me a kiss just before. To have you frowning at me the way you do when you find I've spent the afternoon baking/ cleaning/ painting instead of catching up on rest. To have you look at me incredulously and ask why I'm baking low-carb high fat desserts, and to navigate away from a possible argument by asking if you can switch the music in the player.

Endings

And so, quite suddenly it seems,
we're in our last week of filming.

Yes, it's been a long journey, with long, long days (wayyyyyyy longer for the amazing and hardworking people I've had the pleasure of working with). But while we've been tired and started out barely able to see the week we'd shoot the last episode,
suddenly,
here we are.


It's been sounding like this'll launch us into another phase that is just as (if not more) exciting. I hope it all turns out as promising as it's been sounding.
I'm excited(:

Oh the way pretty places capture your heart

So let's be quite honest here, I rarely put up these sorts of long, picture-filled posts. But I figured, this was a pretty eventful trip! So i weeded out the more fun, more picturesque ones, and thought I'd share them.

In the spirit of being honest, here's a confession-

I've got a soft spot for Perth.

Quite without meaning to, i fell in love and took absolute ages to recover. And then for a while there was the dreaming up pretty things, and looking up possibilities, but mostly, there was this holiday coming at us. And one we had planned for and looked forward to for absolute ages.

I often try to keep myself from being too excited and only succeed in failing miserably.

But anyway, it was quite a lovely, productive trip, and these are all the bits that don't involve me hiding in a bathroom and crying myself stupid.

I'm not saying it happened a lot, but what would holidays be without a couple of those, hey? I think one ends up happier, if one remembers to be sad every so often.

(cue wry laugh).

But enough of my inane nattering! Here are pictures (lots of them) and summaries of our time spent away-

 This is us, on the plane, and ready for take off!

 And the sight we were greeted with, upon arrival at Uncle Adrian's and Aunty Freida's.

and then, it was, GOOD MORNING COTTESLOE.

Easily one of the most beautiful mornings to wake up to. Sometimes I wake up now and am puzzled at how I don't feel cold. Or how I'm not smiling quietly to myself as I watch the sun peek out from rooftops.

 We had a wander-about. (How couldn't we?)
But just for a bit. So that we could come back in time foooooor-

 Aunty Freida's cooking. Which is pretty something, I must say. Not like we didn't already know this. But this time round it was like,
HELLO I DO NOT DESERVE THIS. I AM BEING SPOILT.

That evening...

 We went to Sharon's where we hung out, talked and cuddled on the couch with
Tigger.

The next day, we headed into the city for our pancake fix-

Where we stuffed our faces, poked around in shops (can you tell we're not city people?) and headed off to meet Michelle and Talani.

Being us though, we had to find an empty playground, fiddle with the lock and go hang out on the swings for a bit.

After which, we  made juice with Michelle's new blender, waited til five to open a bottle of wine, and headed home for more good food. 

 


Then.
We left for Melbourne.
Now. Here's the thing.
I wasn't aware of the two hour time difference, and figured we could spend the six hours on the plane sleeping. Except of course it wasn't six hours, it was much shorter.
SO.
We turned up in Melbourne, in the wee hours of the morning, amazingly sleep-deprived, and settled for first breakfast

 in our half-asleep state, before we met up with Bird (my bestest friend in theeee whole wideeee world), who woke up early for nomnoms with us.

Having needed to go off to study for exams though, she left us to go wandering about Victoria Market after brunch/ second brekkie

Where we bought a couple of things, saw lovely buys, shopped for groceries for the following night's dinner, and then walked back quickly so that we could crash out and fall asleep.

I can't say we saw a lot of Melbourne, which was a bit of a shame. But then again, we got to hang out and didn't rush around in an effort to see more of the place so... that was really okay with me, to be honest.


We went out that evening for

crepe.
In a little tucked away place, that Melbourne seems absolutely full of.
Here's a tip if you're ever heading to Melbourne-
hook up with a local, because there are heaps of lovely little places like this one to go sit in. And there're places you wouldn't find, if not for someone who knows the nooks and crannies of the city.

Erika found a place, made just for her though!

 Here, we grabbed a chilli dog for first brekkie while out on the search for second brekkie before meeting Erika's cousin.

Then we found second brekkie. This is Erika's "hmmm, which one of these many things shall I have!"- face.

 And then, the above picture is just proof we hung out with Bird, despite her needing to go study for papers.
We had her over for Blue cheese and Gnocchi. It was yum- thanks to my favourite little chef(:


Quite quickly, we packed up out of our little one-bedroom apartment and headed off for Erika's riding lesson in Oakwood.

SO. On the coldest Melbourne Winter Morn in ten years, we walked across the road to pick up the car, faced appalling service, said nothing of it because we were too cold, too calm, too asian and too fucking cold, got a free upgrade, climbed into a Ford Focus and embarked on our journey to Oakwood.
All the while deciding that Melbourne might not be the place to be.

That is of course, until we hit this part of the drive-

 (:


After a long, long, long, long time (just kidding- it wasn't really aaaall that long),
we hit a dirt road.
Now.
I had been warned by Katie not to take dirt roads with Erika because the last time they went on one, they thought they would die.

But on one we went!

With this face-

 During which I texted Uncle Ronnie and said,
"I think your daughter is trying to sell me. I don't know how many cows I'll get, considering I'm Asian."

To which he replied,
"a small herd! Especially once they find out you can make lasagna and all!"


But, the bumpy road did lead us to Oakwood-

 Where Erika road, after about a month, in the freezing cold, and I hung out with Mini, the cat who looked like I owed it to him to let him cuddle on my lap.

It was nice, seeing Erika ride. Especially because I haven't in a while. I wondered how she was coping in the cold. (She told me she felt like passing out.) But well, from the stands at least, it sounded nice- a different sort of nice than what one is used to (at least from where I was.)

After Erika's ride,
we decided to go be tourists and went to Olinda Falls.
It was the most beautiful, scenic drive I've ever been on. Absolutely gorgeous.

 To end up here-

 Down winding roads, to Olinda Falls.
Where it was quiet and beautiful and picturesque and...
I give up. My words aren't doing it justice.

But it sure was beautiful.


After which we drove to Monash to go pick Bird up from her last exam (WHICH SHE PASSED! I AM SO SO PROUD OF HER OKAY!)

 This is the racecourse.
Dude, if I had my exams here, I don't know how I'd ever freaking pass.

And that concluded our few days in Melbourne.
How exactly that trip ended could have been much better, but let's not go into that right now.

Soon,
we were back in lovely Perth where it was a little less cold, a little less city-like, and lot more at-home.

We decided after that, to have date-night and take a walk on Cottesloe Beach(:

(:

__________________________________________________

  Our first meal after Melbourne was Dim sum with Aunty Freida, Uncle Adrian and a friend in Northbridge.
As it turns out, Northbridge during the day looks quite different from at night.






The weekend that followed Melbourne, we took a trip to The Hillary's with Michelle, Talani and Karen.

 

 We also had Churros for dessert!

 And pretty as they are, who needs dream catchers when everything around you looks and feels like this?(:





We woke up the next morning to a Sunday that looked like this-

 pfffft.
And people ask me why I'm so in love with Perth!

Anyway, aside from going place to place, meeting with people and thinking about work, most of the rest of our holiday looked like this-

 hanging out in pretty little cafes with the paper, an affogato for myself and a cappuccino for her

or hanging out on the couch napping, playing word games, reading scripts and  being comfy.

taking in the prettiest looking places

hanging out with Lola

Popping into FreO for coffee

and more affogato

and chilli mussels + fish and chips

and taking in even prettier sights

_____________________________________________________

 The Wednesday before we left though,
I got to go to the concert of the one person I knew I'd always wanted to go for.

P!nk's The Truth About Love Tour was in town, and although (I'm ashamed to say), it did take a bit of convincing, I went.

I couldn't have possibly be prepared for how spectacular it was. And here's to all P!nk fans- if you're thinking about going to see her, don't think.
Just go for it.

Believe me, it is so, so, SO SO SO worth it!

 Yep!
Luckiest girl ever.

Our last night?
Hanging out with Lola, Uncle Adrian and Aunty Freida + eating good home-cooked food
+ sprawling on the couch playing word games
+ going to bed at 8:36pm.

It's official.

Luckiest girl ever(: