But always the same shadows that hold you back and weigh you down
At some point, after nine years of teaching and creating drama-based learning programs, after 20 years of theatre being all the things I knew myself to be,
after always finding my way back home to the stage - the most honest and real space there is-
I decided to leave.
Well, no, not leave entirely. I think about it more like a time-out.
What I did want to do was leave the teaching behind.
There are so many beautiful moments I have collected along the way, and hours of stories that I have with the most talented teenagers I know; But you can't just stay in a happy bubble all the time.
Politics aside (which was a huge push factor), I also believe that you can't stay stagnant for very long. If you're not moving forwards, you're moving backwards. I still love a lot of all the things I used to do; But I also knew that I wasn't opening myself up to different challenges that would grow me in different ways.
So I left.
And it has been a year now.
2017's SYF was my wrap up project, and here I am. Almost miles away from that life and all the things it meant.
And boy, I don't know if I knew what I was signing up for.
I mean, of course I knew. But I don't know if I really knew, d'you know what I mean?
There are all these very new and nice moments that I like, but also a lot of truth in the world of headhunting that I am coming to terms with.
Like how a desk is never really warm. It's a brilliant company, where all the desks are supposed to be warm and where you're supposed to be able to get a decent start.
I don't know if anyone knows how much that applies to the Digital Space.
If you're a digital native, reading this, you very likely get it.
If there's been a trending topic on Twitter all day, and then you check in at 6.10pm and try and hop on to that, it's already pretty cold news.
Things move incredibly quickly. But also growing up in that age has birthed startups and young companies who also function like that.
Like fluid and agile, all the time. Openly admitting that there's no point planning for anything beyond three months because those plans could and probably will change. Learning (sometimes the hard way), how to develop slightly more structured lines of communication.
How every non-micro-manager is actually a little bit of a micro-manager in their own way. Whether that works or doesn't work again depends on the environment and the team dynamic and the culture and the...
Throw in a headhunter into the mix; you're going to need someone who is patient and who wants to grow with you and the company. Who's not in it for a quick buck; because if they were they would be sorely disappointed.
I want to be that person.
And I have managed to be, for some people I'm working together with.
Things like these can move incredibly fast, but it could also... not.
Poor visibility, lack of funding...
It's going to make a lot more sense to target the massive conglomerates. The ones who you already know leverage off the help and expertise of recruitment agencies. But getting your foot in there, educating those who are behind on the digital landscape, knowing the fine line of difference there sometimes is but then having to explain that to people who don't.
Or who's online marketing plan is to set up a LinkedIn account and share posts.
I'm not tired yet. Not yet.
I'm a little bit emotional drained, only because of the realistic, number-driven, KPI-expectation side of this job.
But I believe in sowing seeds, and talking to them everyday as they take root beneath the soil and grow in place we cannot even see yet.
Surely, there will be a time and a season for harvest.
It is not right now.