Tuesday, July 10, 2012

In repair

Would you like to know the truth then?
I've been afraid.
Of what this means, of what will happen of why it sometimes feels like my insides are still breaking apart even though... Even though i'm in a better place now.

Also, I have been feeling uncomfortably child-like.

There are a few things going on that I'd rather not talk about with myself, simple because I'm afraid to. And I haven't felt like that before.
So. It's much easier to sip on green tea, open up the paper and read about a world of problems that do not belong to me.


But I've always missed you more than I was supposed to. Way too much to say, "No, you can't waltz back in and right into that space you left so long ago."
I couldn't.
Partly because I like, no I lie, I love that you're here. But mostly, mostly because I'm astounded at how perfectly and seamlessly you fit back in. I don't recognize it, but sometimes, it's like you couldn't ever have left.

But then all too soon, it's too soon. And the front door needs to be opened.
You're not mine to keep. You were supposed to be, but you're not. You haven't been for a while.
And too soon, I'm missing you more than I should all over again.

Sent from my iPhone

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