Monday, July 23, 2012

Que Sara, Sara

Sometimes we find a regular show to latch on to, and let bits of it seep into our lives. Sometimes we draw parallels or find double images that aren't really there.
For me, that's How I Met Your Mother.

So coming from the end of Season 7, I realize that every so often, I look at where I want to be and how to start on the path towards that. And yes, those plans have taken hits. And beatings. And heck, fucking hailstorms too.
And they've changed, and/or been worked around, and/or completely thrown out the window. Five children, for example. Nope, not going to do that. Especially not for the sake of wanting to use my List Of Great Baby Names.
But however many transitions and reworks there have been, for some reason I haven't gotten to the point of just going, "You know what. I don't know and I don't care because the plans always change." Well, not yet anyway.
Which, I don't know is altogether a good thing.
I mean, I'm not overtly-ambitious I don't think, or unrealistic. Wanting five children and my own recording studio when I planned to marry a boy who didn't even know what he wanted to do as a career, now that's unrealistic.
And yet, sometimes I look at the plan and wonder why it keeps changing. More than that, I've been starting to wonder why I even still draw up plans as they change.

A few years ago I felt like I was at Point A, knowing full well that I wanted to get to Point B except with no way of getting there. Or not knowing how.
And sometimes the terrible bit is the in-between. The trudging along in the same direction until you get there. Almost two years ago, I made a choice that allows me to go 100% in one direction. Because, as The Acting Corps taught me, you can't go 70% one way and 30% in another.

There are things that I want, that I know wait for me at the end of each phase.
And while one foot in front of the other sure as hell seems like it'll take too bloody long to get anywhere, at least I'm moving right?

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