Saturday, September 19, 2009

when the second hand smoke clears up...

I think sometimes we get so caught up with all that we don't have, with all that is just out of our reach, with all our limitations, that it becomes so incredibly difficult to see what we do have.

It's not that we're ungrateful, or that we don't know how to appreciate what we have. It's just that it gets difficult when you've set your sights on something and it keeps getting further and further away just as you swim close enough to touch it.
I'll admit, it's so much easier to let this frustration eat you up from the inside out.
But when you just force yourself to freeze, and think about what you already have and what you already have achieved, it becomes easier to breathe again. It becomes easier to continue trying to move towards whatever it is that keeps slipping away from the tips of your fingers.
It becomes easier to believe.

But then, I do wonder, how long before you give up entirely? How long before you think that, maybe you're never meant to reach that goal?
It's a painful thought. And sometimes I think, maybe it'll save me so much more heartache if I just, backtrack a little bit and focus on something that I already have.

They always say, never take your eyes off the goal.
They always say, that it doesn't matter how long it takes you, as long as you never stop.
But they also say, that if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.

So then, what you're left with, is pretty much nothing. Just crappy advice that "they" pass off as inspirational messages.

I'm a strong believer in getting what you want. In making it work out, because if you're doing something you love, it is going to be so, so worth it.
Yet it's hard to sing that same tune when you find yourself in the middle of it all and unable to get from point A to point B.

So I think for right now, it's okay to stop, sip my Choya and look around at what I already have. Rather than thrash towards the "YOU HAVE MADE IT" sign that keeps moving away.
I think for right now, it's going to be okay.

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