to a lovely man named Frank.
It was quite a whirlwind thing, I did only meet him today.
But then I realized how perfect he was for me.
He's round, just like me. He's trying to quit smoking.
He's quiet, and he listens to me all the time. He doesn't go on about how fat/slutty/hippo-like i look.
He's beautiful. He's got the loveliest eyes, the softest hands, the most adorable feet.
Frank, he just shines/sparkles with this kind of, bubbly glow all the time.
He makes me so incredibly happy.
Just so, so happy.
He makes me laugh, he poses for all of TLC's pictures. He kisses baby fishbone.
He acknowledges my presence and I feel like he needs me.
But what I find most special about him,
is that he doesn't really exist.
Our first kiss! awwwww
I love you Frank. I'm sorry I got tired of you being so ballsy and smooshed you and chucked you into the bin.
I love you, I do.
It's funny and strange, and sometimes I think I'm looking into things too much.
You are so incredibly dear to me, but I am getting such weird vibes from you right now. And jeez, everytime I think about this, I feel like I really really need a smoke.
You only became like this since Mr Smith went to Washington, and sweet lord if it hasn't changed you! It's everything, you know, from the eyes, the guardedness you seem to have. I don't know man, I don't know.
Clearly it's an issue because otherwise I'd keep this to the hour that I spend trying to fall asleep. And I've talked about it a little bit here and there, but not without stopping myself and thinking, fuck, I am just over-thinking this.
I don't think it's a good idea, personally.
Because I feel you become an entirely different person with different habits and just, doing stuff you wouldn't normally do.
But my opinions are my opinions and I don't expect anyone to give a flying fuck. So that's fine.
What is a tad unsettling are the strange vibes, the difference in body language.
The danger-eyes being shot at me left, right and square in my imaginary balls. Plus, it's the first time you're behaving like this.
i'm pretty sure you have no idea. I'm pretty sure it's this subconscious thing.
and I'm pretty sure that in a month or so, this will stop happening.
But it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. And it's just getting so awkward and I hate that it is. Because things never get awkward around you. Hell, we make situations awkward and then laugh at people when they feel awkward!
So I just, I don't know.
Hopefully you'll notice what you're doing.
Or I seriously need to sort out my issues.
On a more relaxingly stressful note,
HELLO INTENSIVE REHEARSALS!
So this is how it works okay, for three and a half weeks straight, six days a week, I'll have rehearsals.
During about half of the time, half the day is spent on one production with HCC and the other for Youth Matters.
I like. I'm quite looking forward to the intensity and the stress of it all. On the other hand, it is rather scaaaaary.
Block out October 27th and 28th sweethearts! Well, one of them and tell me when you'd like to come see the show.
I'd like to end of with something that sounds nice and cosy.
"I'm sorry guys I have to go now because Frank's tucked into bed waiting for me".
But i sort of smooshed him and chucked him in the bin already so I'll save the nice pictures of dim lights and cuddle-ups before bed for another time.