New Year's Resolutions

So we've come round to that time of the year again where we make promises we can't keep.
(but we still try to anyhow)

So here I am, twenty minutes before having to leave for Muay Thai, laundry starting, churning out my resolutions (you don't really have to read this)

*sidenote: FUCK FISHBONE, HE'S BEING SUCH A DEMONIC BRAT RIGHT NOW. HE SPENT ALL OF TEN SECONDS ON MY FRESHLY NAKED BED AND HE'S MANAGED TO MAKE A HOLE. WHAT THE FUCK. I FEEL LIKE THROWING HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE SOMETIMES

1) I need to finish all my subjects by June. Even if it means working a lot less and living off my mom and (possibly) not even being able to go to Australia.

2) I want to be able to decide on where I'm going, exactly and sort out the bloody logistics of it all.

3) I want to spend more time with my family

4) I want to keep to my promise before getting 2010's second and third tattoo

5) Find a Muay Thai Gym to train at while I'm in the States. (this is the toughest. And of lowest priority. It should be at the end. ah fuck it.)

6) Have the EP recorded and out by June. (time to pull your socks up Charis!)

7) I want to spend lots more time with my daddy and the two younger ones

8) I want to be more patient and more tolerant of Fishbone

9) Attempt to re-litter train Buttons to use sawdust for pooping. I don't mind her peeing habits, since she goes directly to the drain. But my future housemates might not be particularly keen on seeing a nice fresh warm pile of poop right next to their own human bog.

10) I want to save. A lot. So that next year (2011) won't be so crazy for me.
So that mommy won't be coughing up blood keeping me away from Singapore.


So that's my list of ten. I want to keep to it as much as I can of course. And since I've gone off smokes (other than the once in a while), I think half the battle's won!
Anyway, clearly (and not very surprisingly), my post has bored you half to death.
So here's a little cheerer-upper, so you don't feel s bad about your own New Year's Resolutions.

(:

Christmas came late love!

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY THAT I DIDN'T POST THIS UP IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.
Last Christmas had me so excited that I scheduled for you guys in singapore, months in advance! (like freaking october)

Anyway, here's hoping you muff-munchers and knob-nibblers (and everyone else in between) had a lovely Christmas!

decisions, decisions

I've made two already.

The first is that if moving back home (to UK) means being without my black furball for three-four years, then I won't do it. I can't.
With age and the moving (twice only as opposed to three times), it's not a problem. But I doubt Aunty Esther would be keen on a teenage black ball of fur with long nails.
Don't tell me I'm stupid for making a decision like that, it's just a factor. A large factor, but a factor nonetheless.


The second decisions is a deal that I've made with myself.
And that is that I will lose 5-10kg (or something in between) before getting my second tattoo which will lead to my third.
ps, the terms "first,second and third tattoo" apply to "after 2009".
The third, by the way, is going to be incredibly beautiful.
Imagine something like this:
just smaller and a different word altogether. It's a phrase really.
So I'm excited.
The second is something I'm doing that represents a bunch of my closest friends. I love much.

So anyway, as you can see from the location, it is important that I lose weight!
I've also done research so being getting pregnant will not affect this tattoo all that much. Unless I have like freaking sixtuplets (please, I don't want!)

ta dah.

happy bunny, happy bunny.
I'm also going to write up my new year's resolutions soon. :D

oh meeeaow

well, considering i have work i cannot believe i'm up at this hour.
In the middle of creating something unbelievably stupid and lame but i think it's funny!
so you must support it and contribute!
(ESPECIALLY NER! You'll see why in my next post!)

until then, meow to yourself when you're in a life with strangers!

paws over eyes and the prettiest sighs

THANK YOU VICTOR<3


So honestly, right now I feel really tired. It's just generally been so tiring that it is tiring.
the year's opening up and it's like standing in line outside the doors of Victoria Secret at 6am on Black Friday;
You can't actually see into the shop yet, or see the things you'll be rushing for, but you know when the doors open you've got to CHARGE LIKE HELL.
Oh when will this madness cease!

These are things lined up for me in 2010:
- Finishing of associate's degree. yes i've procrastinated THAT LONG.
It's terrible, and i want to shoot myself. i really do
- work and saving up
- Music EP recorded and released before june
- packing for my move, spending as much time with fishbone as i can
- applications to schools
- complete travel to thailand/australia/hole in the surface of the moon by june
- have sorted out buttons' paperwork
- gotten theeee special tattoos
- one mini-musical
- couple of short films
- theatre productions
- Muay thai fights (lets hope i dont break my nose)

I'm literally falling asleep as i type this, it's crazy.
But I just realized that work is on tuesday and not tomorrow so i'm not fretting as much. besides, it's cat high and i really like cat high(:

I think i'll start with a morning swim and a load of laundry tomorrow.
But right now, incredibly tired.

The festive season has gotten me terribly anti-social, and honestly, all i want to do right now is lounge around with a smoke and some port in my dimly-litted room with nice music and an adooorable meow meow.


excited about living with buttons, having carpeted floors when it's cold outside and making coffee in the mornings and thinking about my day ahead.
^^

a lifetime ago

I actually uploaded two pictures. The second contained a really old picture of myself and Victor. And I freaking looked more manly than victor. It was the ugliest shit I have EVER SEEN.

I can't believe Christmas is like five days away! HOW UNBELIEVABLE IS THAT.
I likey.

For the oddest reason, this year we haven't been putting up wishlists of any sort.
BUT ANYWAY! JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET ME (wow how shameless am i!), here's a few stuff that i'd like

Muay Thai Handwraps (can never have too many!)- pink/black

and that's really about it.
You could wrap up a wad of cash in a red ribbon and i'd be happy too(:

I'm off to bed now.


WANTED:
ANG ANN NA.
BELOVED FRIEND HAS GONE MISSING.
REWARD GIVEN IF FOUND!

Going for Take One in 5,

and already screwing up.


I think what I feel, above all, is immense frustration and disappointment at myself. It was all arranged, all set, way before hand. And as solid, as sure as those answers seemed at the time, they turned out to well, not be as positive as I thought.
I ought to be understanding I suppose; that children are unpredictable, that parents cannot bend over backwards to accommodate their kids. But it's difficult. So unbelievably difficult.
Not because it makes me look bad, no.
But because I tried my damnest to make it convenient, simple, a no-brainer. I want to give, but then, no one seems very keen on taking. How does that work?


And right now, at 12am, I'm doing last minute preparations for tomorrow's program. It's not that preparing for ten is a huge deal, it's that it's disheartening knowing the likely possibility that only about half will be used. And what then?
I jumped in, all excited, everyone else got roped in and in the end, there's likely to only be five kids turning up.
Five kids. When there are what, five trainers?
Makes me want to cancel the entire thing. Run away so I won't feel this insane burning shame.


I wish i had more time. We always say that don't we.
But i ought to turn up and face the sad shaking of heads. I wish there was more I could do. I wish people would bother to pick up the freaking phone.
I wish I didn't feel so darn shitty about this, especially at the last minute.

The furry cup

My my, well aren't I just grotesque!
I always go on about people who don't update their blogs regularly and just look at what has become of me! GASP.

I've gotten lazy, is what's happened.
bah.

So anyway, after much bumming around in the week since getting back from Hong Kong, I finally went back for Muay Thai. With the influx of new students, it's been incredibly hard to get a decent work out these days. But to my lovely surprise, I had an entire class to myself this afternoon.
So, after two rounds of bag work and four rounds of pad work (he usually only does 2-3 rounds), I had a full three rounds of sparring!

Okay, so I got punched in the eye once and got kicked a lot ( i really need to get better at defending. garsh) But i did get a few decent kicks and counter-attacks in. So yay me!
I'm starting to miss chilling by the pool a bit though. hmm.
Either ways, I'm usually like insanely happy right after. Tired out, but awfully happy.
(:

Oh yes, just to make for an interesting read (not really), here's what happened to me today.
It was one of my ogre days and i'd decided not to bathe right after Muay Thai. So i stuck myself right at the back of the bus and about half an hour into the bus ride, this big dude sits beside me. By that time the bus was reasonably crowded of course.
After a full ten minutes (at least) of him peering at my phone and blatantly turning to look right at me, he finally asked,
"This bus, does it go to Hougang Central?"
"yes." I reply,
"Oh," he laughs, "Thanks. I'm more familiar with the train."
"Ah, I see." I reply, smiling politely.

As I turn away again however, he suddenly points at my phone.
"I heard something from you this phone, is it your speaker very good?"
"uhm," I think, "well actually my music's just kinda loud. but the speakers are good i suppose."
Then it continued into this mindless natter about this nokia phone and that nokia phone. Just as my intestines were making their way up my gullet and out my mouth to strangle me, he went,
"So, you're Singaporean?"

WHAT A WEIRD QUESTION.
This is why it's weird:
If you feel the need to check whether or not I'm from your country, then something's telling you that I just might not be. If that is the case, why to phrase the question like that? You, my friend, would have had extra points if you'd asked, "You're not from Singapore are you?" or at the VERY least, "Are you from Singapore?"
Gosh, even your getting-to-know-you questions sound accusative!
"SO, YOU'RE SINGAPOREAN?"

"No actually," I say, mentally rolling my eyes so far back in my head that they've fallen onto my intestines that were snaking their way up my gullet.
"I'm from UK."
"AH!" he says, knowingly, "No wonder you've got a Cockney accent!" He smiles at the cleverness of his statement.
HELLO YOU BLOODY DIMBAT! DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHAT A BLOODY COCKNEY ACCENT SOUNDS LIKE?
YOU DAFT, INSULTING, TWIT-HEADED MORON! And he CLEARLY thought himself very clever.
I was literally too stunned to punch him.
"Which part are you from?" He asks, happily.
"Kent."
"Ah!" He nods knowingly again, "Kents!"
It's Kent you ignorant fool! There is no plural!
"Yes," I reply, "but I didn't grow up there, so this accent I have, it's not Cockney. Nothing like it at all."
"Ah" HE NODS KNOWINGLY AGAIN.
sure.
After some more mindless natter and random questions I hop off the bus. Finally.
ugh.



Some people. Oh, some people.
Just like the other day! But then, I'd best keep that story for a separate entry, hadn't I?
Because at this rate, I could do multiple entries everyday!

Besides, I ought to work at getting my biological clock back to working condition. Bloody hell.


ta!

being a mommy

My reason to tuck myself in at night, even when the troll in me wants to stay up late eating children.
My reason to wake up in the mornings, to rush home after work. To hop on one foot as I wait for my flight back to Singapore.

They give me something to blog about, just as I've decided I'm too zonked to even be alive. They make me smile to myself in my bedroom, empty and quiet. They make me sit up and stare at them for just a bit longer before squirming under the sheets.

I don't know how it is even remotely possible to feel all the things that I do.
They're my darlings, my little baby angels. They were Christmas presents in February and September.
They're everything to me and I just love them so incredibly much. Yes they knock things over and sometimes ruin things that are brand new. But those things are replaceable and they are not.

How many cats mew desperately and crawl into your lap for a snuggle while you're on the computer? How many cats scratch at your bedroom door, just because they want to fall asleep with you and not because they're hungry?
How many, despite hissing at each other, roll their eyes and then curl up back to back just so they can sleep with mommy? (especially when they can NEVER sleep together)


So this is my life.
I've got the two most beautiful babies in the world. I wake up to their kisses and their cold noses and their purring and their kneading.
I love them so so SO much


<3

and a happy new year.

Sometimes I wonder why we bite our tongue, or stuff our fists into our mouths to keep from punching. I wonder why we vet through our blog posts before posting it up because we're afraid we'll get our asses thrown in jail for expressing our own opinion.

Because honestly, I do feel like blowing up places known for animal abuse. Honestly? I WOULD punch someone in the face if I saw that person abusing an animal. Honest to God, I would stab someone in the fucking face if that person was doing something unthinkable to an animal.
And why shouldn't I?
If no one else is going to protect strays or lift a finger to help in any way possible, then why shouldn't I, or any other decent human who believes in animal rights, be allowed to stand up for a poor defenseless animal?

I don't know about other countries, but from some local articles, I realized that many locals believe we don't have our priorities right. That we're irresponsible. That our fellow humans should be our concern. And if we don't think about fellow humans, how can we even begin to talk about animal rights.
Yeah, says he slinking past in his merc and trying to beat that school kid to the zebra crossing.
That's normal though.

Do you not see, my brainless, fuckheaded twit of a friend? Humans do not even deserve to be around.
Do they kill each other for survival, for food? No. People kill each other for the heck of it. They pick fights because their girlfriend got looked at. They rape their grandchildren. They shove and push each other and then tell other people that animal lovers are being inconsiderate because the cats they feed leave fur on the hood of their white car. They see themselves as having power over animals. And they abuse that, and they abuse animals.
Have you ever seen an animal abusing another animal? No.
Humans are the last thing on earth that deserve to be alive. You, me, I, her, him. We're no better than the next and what you need to understand is that people who feed those strays in your area, they DO NOT need to think about the likes of you for even a second.

While those Cat people are waking up at five, six in the morning to feed these cats by the dozens before work, what are you doing besides wanking off between your satin sheets? Most of these cat feeders don't even have cars or a job that pays them enough.
So while you're whining about your precious car that's got cat fur on it (oh dear, how will you EVER get rid of that eh?), these people are probably sorting out their finances for next month to see if they can afford to feed something other than themselves.

Not everyone is as self-absorbed as yourself.


Everytime I hear about animal abuse or the likes, I feel like punching that person.
Okay, that was a fat lie. I honestly don't feel like doing that.
I feel like doing to them what they have done to that animal. You hit a dog in the eye until it got all bloody? I'll do that to you too, AND leave you in an area you're unfamiliar with so that you end up wandering around lost.
Did you cut up that kitten's tail and skin it?
How about I tie you down and slowly cut the skin of your dick and balls AND THEN proceed to cut it up into PIECES. not cut it off, mind you, CUT IT UP INTO PIECES AND WATCH YOU BLEED?

If you can do that to an animal, why shouldn't it be done to you?

I went up to China for a few days while I was in Hong Kong, and there was such horrendous things being committed in broad daylight, on the busy streets! On top of the spitting and shoving and nose-digging that is.


Humans do not have an ounce of a right to walk this earth. Not an ounce.
Right after Steve Irwin got stung by a stingray, hundreds of stingrays were found dead on the shores, with their stingers cut off. Is that what he would have wanted? If you were really such a fan of his, you'd know that you're doing exactly what he fought against and he would not have respected you in the least.
When Timothy and Amy, the documentary show-host and his girlfriend got mauled and partially devoured by a grizzly bear after working to protect the bears for so many years, what did the park rangers do?
Park Rangers, mind you, people of the LAW. They shot two of the oldest bears in the area.
Because, "If there were to be any suspects it'd definitely have been the two off them."
Lets not even talk about how insanely STUPID it is that you'd shoot an animal for attacking something in the wild. Let's put that aside, since you've decided to ride on the excuse of treating the case as you would a murder.
Would you shoot the first two suspects that you had, if they were humans? Just the first two that you figured were the perps? I don't think so. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?
And that's not even talking about the fact that Tim and Amy were in the territory of grizzly bears. They had been for ages and they knew the risk it came with. What if a rabbit shot you in the face because you shot its sibling for some roast rabbit?
YOU would think its unfair, now wouldn't you?


I'm so drained just listening and reading all of this.
What it boils down to is this:
We don't deserve to be around. I will punch people who abuse animals.
Singaporeans are A FUCK LOT more self-absorbed than I thought if they're whinging about their car being furry thanks to strays. For fuck's sake, YOU shed hair too, you just have a domestic help to pick up after you because you don't know how to wipe your fucking ass.
Human beings annoy me. I would like to stab them in the face with the pen Vicky got me last Christmas.


ps: I love Buttons(right) and Fishbone(left) with all my heart. I don't see how anyone could look at a face like that and feel like hurting them, their species or creatures equally as vulnerable, naiive and trusting.
Mommy loves you babies.3.


Fuck human beings.

<3

So I'm back from Hong Kong with three dvds full of random recordings, a whoooole bunch of pictures (which i am not likely to upload considering how big they are, coming from TLC's slr), a tumtum full of chinky foodies and lots and lots and LOTS of presents(:

I got to meet up with family, albeit for a very limited period of time, I got to meet my grandpappy for the first time in my life, and I got to meet up with my Godma who I haven't seen in four years. That's her in the picture, btw(:
She's one of the most beautiful people I know and she'd gotten more beautiful since we last met. Every time we meet I'm stunned at how well-picked a Godma she is.
She was born in UK, although she's completely Chinese. Her birthday's on the sixteenth of March. She loves animals (she had 13 cats at one point). She's super ditzy (although she's really smart at the same time actually, she's a doctor! there's a bit we don't have in common ): )
My parents wanted to call me Abigail.

It's always fun, meeting up with her and Aunty Terase. They (plus mommy) go wayyyy back. It's nice, and I always see my friends and I doing the same thing. I like.


So now, I'm sorting out stuff for my next trip out. Fingers crossed! ack.

I've got a tonned of stuff to pack up now though and baby buttons is pawing at the door.
So i'd best be off!

ps: OMG, SO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS, I LOVE!
psps: OMGGGGG, SO MUCH CLOSER TO FLYING TO LA! YAYYYYYYY