Sunday, September 19, 2010

i am tired

And mildly irritated at a lot of things around me.

People who take things for granted,
Others who cling on desperately to people or things,
Some who refuse to grow balls,
Who run about in circles, chasing after their own tails.

None of it even has anything to do with me.
For the most part anyways
Yet I find myself irked, and annoyed.

My morning was very nice actually.
I very much liked it-
Waking early, breakfasting, church at half eight, half ten and then half eleven.

But something feels a bit off.
I'm physically uncomfortable by something I can't put my finger on.
And what I want to do, more than anything,
Is find that spot I used to sit at sometimes, behind rows of old houses, right by a tiny shallow drain.

In the last hour and a half, I've felt like everything's fake and plastic.
Like we're swimming in a honey-thick pool of pretense and a collection of masks everyone's picking from.

And that's what's draining me out right now-
Feeling like I am just absolutely drowning in things that aren't even real.

I don't like how this feels,
Not one bit.

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