What it takes to quit

Here's the thing about quitting, about saying "I don't want to do this anymore", about declaring your lifestyle is different, about referring to your issues in past-tense:
You can't go back.

You can't have just a sliver of a taste of what it was because it's really hard to not slip up after that. In other words, it's easier to keep taking yourself further and further away and not look back.
Except.
Except most times you do.

Most times, I do. Even when I'm trying hard not to. Even when I come away from countless situations safe, and my banner still waving, I come away from a fair share where I can't say the same thing.

I wonder what it is.
It can't always just be a chemical thing, the way something reacts with your body. Because it's not always chemical.

Sometimes it takes a lot more than self-control and discipline.
The problem is, I don't know what else it'll take.

And,
Simply put,
I'm afraid.