Wednesday, April 2, 2008
I looked for you in my closet tonight
oh once in your life, you find someone
who will turn your world around
Oh songs and their waves of nostalgia.
puhh-lease! Way past that now, aren't we?
I woke up to a fantabulous day today!
On mommy's knock, i raised my head, smiling back at her as i nodded sleepily.
Janice came in with my belated present;
Stan Getz- Getz for Lovers and a pretty little cake which i ate just now.
I got ready within the next ten minutes, and was out of the house with mommy.
Much unusually, the bus wasn't crowded and i managed a seat.
A text that came at about half past eight told me that today's class was canceled. Really, I was quite grateful for the unexpected break.
So i rang Victor out of his morning grumps and spent the next hour and a half turning into mould outside Coffee Bean with my Cafe Caramel and the day's newspaper.
Brunch was lovely (as usual, from coffee bean) and put me in an even better mood.
Charles and Keith was empty with rows of lovely shoes to pick up and drool over.
Went home to pick up my baby, Heather, tidy up my room and pack my bag (and the rest of my day) with studying.
Yes, i did study and in fact, finished an entire assignment!
There was something that kind of threw me off for a bit tonight.
But after thinking about it, prioritizing, talking with Enqing and Victor, i'm happy with the way things are left and that it's completely out of our own hands.
Yes I am grateful.
Every single day, for the life that I have.
Where others have more yarn to unravel, I have pieces of patchwork to put together.
Every day is different and I haven't found myself asking, "What am i doing now?" and been unable to answer.
I've never been happier, and things really couldn't be more perfect.
Really, it couldn't.
Yes, i looked for you in my closet tonight-
As that old song played and i was lulled into a place where memories swam in pictures around me. Your recorded song still plays sometimes, and photographs still smile back at me, just as perfect as the day they were taken and as if they'd never been underneath shattered glass at all.
Scars still hurt, and i can just about see the carving of your name if i look hard enough.
But now darling, what's the point?
Holding on to a glass vase that's pieced together after being dropped;
The cracks still show and a clean slate would still have stains from unforgiven doings.
I looked for you in my closet tonight,
but realized that I never expected you to be there. Like i never expected anything towards the end.
Today was fantastic, I realize.
And Maybe, JUST MAYBE, (gasp! what am i about to say now!)
I might not need complete matching undies or cute knickers to keep me smiling during the day.
Okay, maybe not.
My April Fools Fool is making you believe I'd forgotten about April Fools.
ah hah! caught you off guard now didn't I!
So what if it's an hour and a half past April Fools,
you're still an April Fool/ April's Fool.
Wasn't that lame. hmmmm
I FOOLED YOU INTO THINKING THAT I WAS LAME ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF RUBBISH TO PASS OFF AS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE!
This is a severe side-effect from too early mornings, clearly.