Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?

where else would we learn it from? hehe

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Subway hobo: Hello, I am not here to beg. I am homeless, I have not eaten in a week. I have not been able to find a job.
Man on the train: Hey man, if you are looking for a job I can help you out.
Subway hobo: What do you mean? This is my job!

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Mother to six-year-old son: Of course I love you! You are my son, I love every bit of you!
Son: Even my balls?

awww, who knew boys could be so cute before becoming penis-breathed men!

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Conductor: Crime does not pay. I repeat, crime does not pay. There will be no crime on this train. Littering is a crime. Throwing up on the train is a crime. If you feel the need to relieve yourself, there is one place you can throw up on the train...on yourself. Or if you have a girlfriend, you can have her join in on the situation and you can throw up on her. I'm sure that punishment would be far worse. (at the next stop) I'd like to thank the gentleman in the second car. That was the most amazing display of projectile vomit outside the car doors that I have ever seen! A new record!

I think listening to stuff like this on the train is one helluva reason to live in USA!

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Now to end this off,
I went out with Justkins yesterday (don't know why I still call him that) and we were on a travelator and well, what better time to talk, right?

Me: What would you like for Christmas love?
Justin: Something to DO!
Me: So, a blowup doll will be fine, yeah?

goodnight you funny people!