Wandering souls who wander home

To weekends I get to start with you guys like this-
Yes, that includes Bird, behind the camera.

Sometimes, I don't know how I do with you not being around.

Baby Toufu

I'm going to miss lunches like this.

To getaways and cat naps

Really,
This was what I needed over the weekend.
Sun, pool, good conversations, space when I needed it, and a drink in my hand.

When they said "It gets better",
They weren't lying. (:

the lucky one

and it's like, when it feels like I know just which word to fill in your blanks with,
I think maybe, hey-
we're a step or two closer to getting the bits of us back

Because

I think you're beautiful.
The most beautiful girl in all the world
And your smile-
It still gets me.
Everytime.

Empty?

I'm not sad

I can't be sad

If I am numb, I can't be sad

Right?

But No, I'm not sad tonight after all actually

I got home, sober, although mortifyingly tired from my drinks..

Or dinner

Or actually my drinks which was my dinner..

And then I poured myself water, fried up chicken nuggets,

And sat down to finish writing one of my articles this week. 

I realized, that filled me a lot more than most of tonight. 

Close your eyes, count to ten

Maybe you'll be okay then

"You write from such a sad place."

I know, my love, I know. 

Some days that place is sadder than others. 

But I am okay. 

I am going to be okay. I will. 

The world

Baby,
There're so so many places I want to go.
But I want to go to all of them with you.

Shelter

Can you hear when I say 

I have never felt this way

Maybe I had something that was wrong

Can I make it better with the lights turned on

Maybe I had something that was wrong

Can I make it better

with the lights turned on

And so here's to one of the loveliest, most beautiful couples I know!

So yesterday was...
In short, really amazing.
Everything was well-organized, flowed smoothly. The crowd was good, no drama (as far as i could see anyway!), the food was really nice and just... Everything about it was beautiful.

I liked how they kept it really fuss-free. There wasn't things like the groom having to do a series of challenges to get his girl (I remember Cher talking about how it was very degrading and altogether quite contrived- I can't say I disagree at all!!), she didn't have like six hundred thousand outfits to change in and out of during the dinner, which allowed them to eat and all so that was good.
I thought they took on the day really calmly in a very non-frazzled manner.

I mean, at about six, when I pop by their room to help Lucas with his hair,
Cher's sitting with her legs crossed, in a large chair, getting her hair done- the picture of absolute calm and zen-likeness. And then she goes,
"Charis, they messed up the flowers."
"What! What do you mean?!" (And I sound more jumpy than her, mind you.)
"Yeah, we asked for all white and they gave us orange and blue. It looks really ugly- I'll show you pictures."
Except she said it all in this, "oh no"- sorta tone more than
"AHMAHGAAAADWHYWHYWHY".
The flowers and drapes were something that got fixed and it looked much better when the guests arrived, which was good. And maybe it's a lot to do with their personality but really, I thought they handled everything really well.
It was really nice being around them and pottering around too because they weren't highly strung at all.

Mostly it made me smile to see them so happy together. Erika did say something really true, that it's almost just a formality or making it all official because really, they're doing it all already- the way they support each other and make such a great team.

I've said it a couple times over in varying ways but-
I truly think these two balance bring a really nice balance to each other. It's lovely watching them together, and we've had many evenings where we've tried out new dishes together, tried each Other's food and sat around watching stuff on YouTube after. It's been a huge blessing getting to hang out with them, the times that I have.

I can't imagine how different it's going to be now...
But I'm sure there'll be very many new things to find fun and exciting.

SO.
Lucas and Cher, all the best on your new adventure together! ❤️❤️

Sunday brunches

Erika: you've still got one more country out of ten to go to. 

Jared: Erika country. 

Me: Erika country baby? You mean you need to come back to jiejie Erika after all that...?

Jared: jiejie Erika country!

Me: oh her own country, is that it?

Erika: well I hope you take a super long time travelling to all the other nine countries, including the Indian Ocean because Erika's country is still being made. I'm working on it. 

Of forevers

Every so often, there'll be an influx of engagement photos, wedding photos, baby bump photos and of course, all the saccharine-sweet words that make up promises and dreamy hopes and picturesque futures.

They scare me a little bit.
Not so much the pictures that flood my Facebook timeline but how easily it kicks one into a frenzy of
Amidoingenoughwithmylife-ness, whereamigoingwithmyself-ness and JAYSUSwhatificannotaffordcatlitterformy97cats.

I'm not where I wanted to be five years ago, seven years ago. I bought myself more time, I got more drawn into certain things I found I liked doing...
But I am not all the things I once thought I'd be by this time in my life.
I suppose there's nothing to be afraid of if I am at least taking steps in the right direction. And I do believe I am.
Sorta. Kinda.
It's just a little bit difficult to keep from feeling bummed when it seems like you're far away from where you want to be, and when it feels like you might be dreaming a little too big.

But I guess, we'll get there when we get there hey? And maybe it'll feel all sorts of wonderful because of how long its taken to get there.

----------------------------------

All that crippling self-doubt aside!
I must say that alongside a few others, there is a couple who is quite, quite ready to get married-
And I think that's pretty cool.

They're all set for this Saturday and I think it's quite lovely to see and to hear of their families rallying around and pulling out all the stops for them. It all sounds pretty exciting, I must say.
Not just the wedding- I mean their general forever-togetherness and stuff. I think they've been through a fair share of ups and downs and I'm thrilled to get to watch them take this next step together.
I truly hope that married life turns out to be all the things they have wanted and dreamt up and so much more- they certainly deserve it, and I'm really really happy for them.