Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Not in an I-want-to-call-it-quits kind of way, but I guess, this week I was struck by how much closer it felt when you were further away.
during one of my lunch breaks, I sat on stone steps, stared out into empty apartments and cried.
And we've talked, and been talking, and I like it and it's getting better.
But I'd really like you to see that I don't want anything from you. I don't. You don't need to do anything for me, or try exceptionally hard, or try at all, really.
Because I miss you in the way where you're just you- laid back and happy and sleepy at all the weirdest times of the day and having a full meal during tea.
I miss you just being able to be.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
as one always tends to, I find myself reaching for things that remind me of who I am. That remind me I am still here. That I can still be.
For this, I am grateful that I am consumed mostly by school and the work. That the ache, the questions, the hollowness that breathes through my spine sometimes, only creeps up on me when I steal away to stare out at vast empty spaces that only make me miss you more than I ought to.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
We're all a collection of movements, of moments, of conversations, of snippets of conversations. Of things we have seen and the things that we see, of split second decisions, shocks of impulse to which we see through to the end of the line.
That, that's what is intriguing.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Carve out a routine,
And hang on tight.
It's been three weeks since I've gone for yoga. By pure chance and great fortune, not only did I manage to get to yoga, but I got to Niru's Hatha.
Niru being the instructor I'm most comfortable and familiar with.
And in that hour, I was awash with a sense of relief and fulfilment. For the first time since school started, a feeling of-
Hey, I can do this.
You know, like I'm actually doing something right
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
But it seems almost as possible as it is pretty, almost close enough to see.
And I know I get carried off in thought, and think about next week while drowning in this one. But there are lovely things that come of dreaming sometimes.
And so I'm sitting here, on steps that lead to absolutely nowhere. Staring into the most beautiful apartments with spaces filled with family evenings and couches breathing with secrets and lives that are being lived.
And I am sitting here, with the thought of you.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
I don't have a problem with lunch company at all. But I guess, a lot of times, I crave my alone-time, even when I'm working a school with just one other person.
So today, I brought my lunch, sat on a stone table under a palm tree with the sun hitting my shoulders and Grotowsky's Farewell Speech to his students in my lap.
And I was impossibly happy.
I was also very happy at lunch on the Monday that just passed. We had dimsum with Erika's friends, Sharon and Althea who are lovely company and an absolute riot to be with.
I just realized also that we don't have pictures with them so I guess, this will have to do:/