Thursday, November 3, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Thursday, January 28, 2016
"She's not coming" you say, throwing your phone across the sofa
"Neither is she" I respond, impassively.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Thursday, September 3, 2015
I'm on my way out the country to a destination frequented by Singaporean folk. We're still in the country and we were just having a discussion on multi-culturalism versus interculturalism. What also came up was the attacking and general resentment of foreign immigrants- whether blue collared or white collared. The family and I were just relating our own tales of being subject to behaviour of this sort. (Of course not leaving out moments when a Singaporean HAS come to our defensive and such)
The table next door seems to have overheard us and has proceeded to switch to mandarin and begin speaking horribly of us- presumably because they figure we can't understand.
They have also proceeded to (in a failed attempt) discreetly take pictures of us.
I guess I'm really sad. Just really, really sad.
Despite never having felt at home in this country, there is still so much I have grown to appreciate and love immensely. And there are so many people who I've met here, spent most of my life with, people who have Contributed to making me more of a person than I could've ever hoped to become.
There are so many good people here, so many genuine and friendly and loving Singaporeans I could never imagine doing life without.
But then things like this happen and I realize:
It doesn't matter how much I love what I have here or how sincerely grateful and blessed I feel to have gotten to live and and spent time in Singapore. Sure she's got her shortcomings- but name me a place that doesn't?
Yet despite that, it doesn't seem enough.
Never mind that I contribute to the society (I'd like to think), and the economy. Never mind that I teach in local schools and Strive towards igniting a love for the English language and literature and the arts. Never mind that I am burdened with continuous want to remind teenagers here that they are enough, that they are talented in their own ways and that I want to be a source of encouragement where they often feel like they only ever do things wrong. Never mind that some part of me (I have come to realize) truly does care about this society and the people who've been ostracized...
Moments like these, or incidences where even now, in the year 2015 I still have been told to my face,
"Stupid foreigner go back to your own country"-
It just makes me realize
I'm not welcome here, am i?
We aren't welcome.
When my kids ask me
"Ms C but why? Why Singapore..? Why would you want to live here?"
And I smile and say,
"Now isn't that the million dollar question, hey?"
I'm not saying it with resentment or any amount of snark. I'm saying it with a very special level of sadness and heartache that was formed and only belongs here.
Having said all this though, I refuse for my posts to sound so bloody tragic. So I'd like instead to take time here to say thank you to all the amazing Singaporeans I have come to know and love here. So many of you are my go-to people and I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for you. And even when I go off on rants like these, please know that whenever I am asked why I'm still living here,
I think of you.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
I am so afraid of heights and yet, when I think of ways out I think of
Parapets, corners, bridges, too many levels up and the way I cannot hear my tears fall against the concrete floor.
If my body falls, will it make a sound?
And if it doesn't, does it mean it's actually fallen at all?
Did you know,
You can fall in love in so many ways.
And did you know? Even after, you can keep falling in love...
Over and over and over again.
But did you also know that you can keep Falling and you tell yourself it doesn't hurt but Jesus Christ it does and you wish you wouldn't hurt, wish you could outrun this bullshit
But then you're numb numb numb
And sitting on the couch with your coffee wishing for the first time that you had your tears and your sadness-
Do you know why?
Because it's all that's left of her.
And that matters.
It's almost like, all that sadness caused by that absence..
That absence of her...
That's all you have left.
That's all you've got left darling.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Today, I was part of the 28,000 people gathered at this amazing event. I've received looks of alarm when I admit I haven't been before. Perhaps because I've never been the sort to shove my flag in people's faces, and I kinda wondered if this would be doing that. But then today I realized it's really just a big happy party of families and children and grass and dogs and balloons and picnics and wine and love. Just an outpouring of so much love- it's so heartening to see heterosexual couples come, to see families and their children be there. Because their being there screams "you deserve all this love as much as we do".
Also having chilled out picnics, good conversation, listening to good writers and speakers- that's really what we do. There isn't any gay agenda. If there was, that would probably be it: chill out, have awesome picnics and good conversations with people you love. And just, be.
Friday, June 12, 2015
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Monday, May 25, 2015
To find balances, to breathe easier,
To drink my morning coffee without crying for half an hour
To sit on the empty couch without doing a double take realizing you're not there.
I am trying to get to know myself again;
Trying to listen to my body and what it needs and wants
Learning to respect it
Giving myself time to understand it better.
I am trying to learn to not be so sad.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Friday, May 15, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Around and around and around and around
Sometimes it doesn't feel like we're going anywhere
We're just going around and around and around
Until you've spun away, I've lost your teacup
I'm in my own, alone,
Just going in circles.
Around and around and around and around
Thursday, April 30, 2015
So one day you come to the conclusion that you've officially reached the maximum amount of hurt you can feel.
And that kinda sucks but it's also like,
No really, it can't get anymore painful than this.
Something else comes around and you're like.
Oh wait, hey,
It can actually get more painful.
you're the joke.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
"I will not ask you to stay
If you must go, go
I don't need you
I will breathe (carefully) without you
I will smile (slowly) without you
I will go on (eventually) without you
I'd be much happier
If you chose to not leave,
But if you must let go, let go
And I will too
And hopefully one day
I will teach my heart to not break
Whenever everyday thoughts
Lead to you
I'm afraid I'm much too weak,
I'm afraid we'll always be
A book with the end pages ripped out,
I'm afraid I'll always wonder,
Always place everyone second to you
I'm afraid I'll always love you
But I will not ask you to stay."
Monday, April 20, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
It has also been quite an experience teaching and working with the participants of Miss C's Little Blackbox - with it all leading up to this!
In our devised piece
I'm All Left Turns (and I don't know which is right).
We explore how our parents got to being the people they are today, and summon the courage to tell them all the things we wish they knew.
Seah Bei Ying
Directed by Charis Vera
Written & Conceptualised by Charis Vera & Marvin Wong, together with the actors of Ms C's Little Blackbox.
Tickets available on:
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
However much time you've spent running away,
You'll never outrun yourself.
And when it feels like most of your time is spent fighting off everything else,
really, the last person you want to fight is yourself.
There is calm.
Just like you used to know.
I thought I used to know how to get myself there
It's relief that I never forgot.
"Yes, yes I am."
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Unsteady and shaking, it is all she can do to hang on to these words.
But all she knows is this unfathomable, ineffable pain that's burning the inside of her veins, eating away at all the things that keep her together.
Forces a smile she knows you cannot see, managing a
Because that, that's kinda what it is. It isn't anything until you make it something. And it isn't supposed to be anything to begin with anyway.
It's nothing, it's nothing.
And if she says it enough,
maybe it'll dull all the razor sharp blades that feel like they're running patterns on the inside of her skin,
Maybe it'll stop the way she hates herself for feeling all the things she does,
Maybe it'll make her feel less like an idiot,
Like she is the biggest fool in a game she didn't ask to play.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Or sit beside me and breathe and tell me, just by being here, that it will be okay.
You cannot reach for me and have me lean into your touch,
Feeling for the one right thing in a world going wrong.
And that's not your fault.
It's not your fault that you cannot fit in all the ways another has before,
Or that you don't make my breath catch at the thought of you.
It's not your fault
That someone can be all the things you need them to be, for you,
But you can't be that for them.
And I'm sorry,
That as much as you want to be,
Friday, January 30, 2015
And when they blistered I started to cry
Because that meant in time, it would hurt less, and eventually go away.
And I cannot say I'd know who I am without the pain.
This ache is all I have left of you
And I don't want to lose that too.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Her voice is cold, familiar, snaking itself around and pulling me to her.
She was the echo off comforting bathroom floors, the constant gentle murmur that would find me when the flush of toilets drowned out all thought.
There are so many days you have fooled yourself into thinking you've run far enough away,
Until she finds you.
And oh, she always knows where to find you.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015
Tripping up on all the questions that play on the edge of her tongue and
Finding spaces between sentences for doubt to paint ugly pictures
She wanders, eyes closed, back into places of safety.
Back to a place where she can find proper footing,
Back to where it is okay to take a breath
Friday, January 2, 2015
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Stumbling precariously along dirt roads in life
She holds your hand just a little too tight
But she smiles just a little bit when someone says "you're mine"
And there are stories she saves
For quiet midnight moons
Songs she sings when she's alone in her room
You don't have to be broken
To know how to break
Silences that echo, that echo with hate
Embedded so deep in the cracks of her bones
The ones she runs her fingers along
When she's all alone
And you don't have to say all the things you don't mean
You don't have to help her paint
such picturesque dreams
Because I'll bet she can unravel
All the prettiest lies
And still mean it when she says,
She'll stay through the night
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014
One who's packing his life into boxes,
Another who's doing so much work from behind a screen she hardly feels productive some days..
It is as mortifyingly scary as it is thrilling and exciting,
But here we are.
On the precipice of beginning something that holds so much promise,
So much wonder and anticipation of the stories waiting to be told.
I've always been in love with theatre and the process of drama-making.
And someone (wise, I'm sure) did say,
To spread the love.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Sunday, December 7, 2014
It's like your written words are a rush of white noise
While my voice
Has gone coarse
with things I have asked too many times
So remind her how to breathe
Go on, make her believe
What else is there to hold on to,
When we stand on such shaky ground?
I don't know what you're saying-
Your written words are a rush of white noise
And I know a girl, poised-
To catch your truth in all its varying shades
With her cut up fingers and cut up hands
to feel whole again.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Friday, November 28, 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014
And what do you with all that sad?
Because whether you're warm and at home, surrounded by people you know actually love you,
Or far away, feeling cold in all senses of the word, and alone and emptied out-
It's still the same, isn't it?
And how can you love someone you don't know?
How can you know me,
When there are too many days where I realize,
I don't think i know myself?
"It would've been illegal not to come over and talk to you."
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
Or tell me I can "talk about it" when
There's nothing to talk about
I would go in endless circles and end up back in square one
There is nothing within my control, not anymore
And if I stopped for a half second long enough to place what I feel,
I am only reminded of how I cannot and shouldn't.
It isn't always black and white,
You know that full well.
But even grey has its shades
And sometimes things fall on such in-betweens of the colour spectrum that we cannot see but know is there
You don't have to stop for me,
Or pretend that you will
Because you won't.
Things keep spinning and I will step on and off every so often
There are nights I feel like I'm the only one left spinning,
And on a completely different axis, at that.
Sometimes I wake up to better days than others
And sometimes I wonder why the night before didn't just take me with it.
But for one who has always encouraged an endless stream of talking until things make sense-
This is not something I feel i can ever make sense of, at least not right now.
Just don't right now okay?
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs
If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me
Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
When you know I really tried
To be a better one to satisfy you for you're everything to me
And I'll do what you ask me
If you let me be free
If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me
All these drinks and smokes do nothing to erase this
that I am not the one you choose. This Feeling
That I will always lose
This game I don't know how to play
These words, I'm not supposed to say, so..
Darling, teach me how to cope
Am not allowed to hope
Tell me what
To expect, that now
We need to choose the hats
That make us different persons
I'm standing, on grounds that shake
I question, where I am and then pick
only choices that make me
All the things I'm reading
You do such a job
Me numb and breaking
Along fault lines
I thought stopped existing
Monday, November 17, 2014
Nicely written and beautifully shot, I cannot express how thrilled I was to be part of this production. Getting to work with the same horses I'd gotten so close to in the last few years was also a huge perk for me- It was new and exciting, to see two different bits of my life kinda come together the way it did.
It's funny how stuff works but being able to share what I have personally experienced and also watched unfold in children who have gone through the program is something that meant a whole lot to me.
I hope you enjoy it just as much as we did making this!
To the amazing people who were behind this- thank you and working with you guys was nothing short of fun and wonderful.
Special Thanks of course, must go to
Damiro, who is SUCH a handsome boy and steals the show. Thank you for being so patient and lovely
And Lili who always came out to cuddle right on cue and who is the prettiest girl in the film.
And to the one who first taught me to come as I am, in all my self-doubt and vulnerability, who helped me learn again what it meant to just, be..
for bringing me to where I am today.
So Can You - A Short Film from Warrior9 on Vimeo.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.
Friday, October 31, 2014
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes
a lover that sighs
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
I have never known a trip more bittersweet, more full and yet filled with such aching emptiness at the same time.
I have never laughed more than I have this week in the last three months, and I have never known I could feel so much like I am breaking apart at the same time.
I hope you know,
I've left my heart with you.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
She is in a world that is hers, in the middle of her mother's chatter and tinkling laughter over coffee.
The river behind her runs quiet, and around her a cacophony of clinking cutlery, deep hearty laughs that remind her of her father, clattering of children's toys she has no interest in.
She is in a world that is hers;
Right in the middle of her mother's chatter and tinkling laughter
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Monday, September 22, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
If there was one thing in my life I would change,
It'd be the day I chose to say goodbye.
So tell me that you're okay.
That you're happier now.
That if I went down a different rabbit hole,
You would come hurtling into my arms with a force fueled by happiness that knows no bounds, with a light inside you so bright,
You could burn a thousand suns.
You were all those things
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Dear Wallaby Joe,
For some reason, I missed you terribly today-
For the ages you left me standing there waiting, and all the cuddles you'd come with after.
It was one of those days I needed my wallaby-time: To just, centre myself and feel the world fall away when you finally came nose to nose with me.
So hey. I hope you're doing okay. That you're munching on carrots and sneaking bananas and being happy.
I hope you're happy.
In all the ways you made me happy too.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, August 22, 2014
Monday, August 18, 2014
Friday, August 15, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Monday, July 28, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
I'm not sad
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
In short, really amazing.
Everything was well-organized, flowed smoothly. The crowd was good, no drama (as far as i could see anyway!), the food was really nice and just... Everything about it was beautiful.
I liked how they kept it really fuss-free. There wasn't things like the groom having to do a series of challenges to get his girl (I remember Cher talking about how it was very degrading and altogether quite contrived- I can't say I disagree at all!!), she didn't have like six hundred thousand outfits to change in and out of during the dinner, which allowed them to eat and all so that was good.
I thought they took on the day really calmly in a very non-frazzled manner.
I mean, at about six, when I pop by their room to help Lucas with his hair,
Cher's sitting with her legs crossed, in a large chair, getting her hair done- the picture of absolute calm and zen-likeness. And then she goes,
"Charis, they messed up the flowers."
"What! What do you mean?!" (And I sound more jumpy than her, mind you.)
"Yeah, we asked for all white and they gave us orange and blue. It looks really ugly- I'll show you pictures."
Except she said it all in this, "oh no"- sorta tone more than
The flowers and drapes were something that got fixed and it looked much better when the guests arrived, which was good. And maybe it's a lot to do with their personality but really, I thought they handled everything really well.
It was really nice being around them and pottering around too because they weren't highly strung at all.
Mostly it made me smile to see them so happy together. Erika did say something really true, that it's almost just a formality or making it all official because really, they're doing it all already- the way they support each other and make such a great team.
I've said it a couple times over in varying ways but-
I truly think these two balance bring a really nice balance to each other. It's lovely watching them together, and we've had many evenings where we've tried out new dishes together, tried each Other's food and sat around watching stuff on YouTube after. It's been a huge blessing getting to hang out with them, the times that I have.
I can't imagine how different it's going to be now...
But I'm sure there'll be very many new things to find fun and exciting.
Lucas and Cher, all the best on your new adventure together! ❤️❤️
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Erika: you've still got one more country out of ten to go to.
Jared: Erika country.
Me: Erika country baby? You mean you need to come back to jiejie Erika after all that...?
Jared: jiejie Erika country!
Me: oh her own country, is that it?
Erika: well I hope you take a super long time travelling to all the other nine countries, including the Indian Ocean because Erika's country is still being made. I'm working on it.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
They scare me a little bit.
Not so much the pictures that flood my Facebook timeline but how easily it kicks one into a frenzy of
Amidoingenoughwithmylife-ness, whereamigoingwithmyself-ness and JAYSUSwhatificannotaffordcatlitterformy97cats.
I'm not where I wanted to be five years ago, seven years ago. I bought myself more time, I got more drawn into certain things I found I liked doing...
But I am not all the things I once thought I'd be by this time in my life.
I suppose there's nothing to be afraid of if I am at least taking steps in the right direction. And I do believe I am.
It's just a little bit difficult to keep from feeling bummed when it seems like you're far away from where you want to be, and when it feels like you might be dreaming a little too big.
But I guess, we'll get there when we get there hey? And maybe it'll feel all sorts of wonderful because of how long its taken to get there.
All that crippling self-doubt aside!
I must say that alongside a few others, there is a couple who is quite, quite ready to get married-
And I think that's pretty cool.
They're all set for this Saturday and I think it's quite lovely to see and to hear of their families rallying around and pulling out all the stops for them. It all sounds pretty exciting, I must say.
Not just the wedding- I mean their general forever-togetherness and stuff. I think they've been through a fair share of ups and downs and I'm thrilled to get to watch them take this next step together.
I truly hope that married life turns out to be all the things they have wanted and dreamt up and so much more- they certainly deserve it, and I'm really really happy for them.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Because I can be so very trying when I am in need. I ask questions to which I have heard the answers to, but want to hear, in your voice, over and over and over again.
Soften the blows of my day with the warmth of your laughter, the light in your eyes...
Sometimes I come home so cold and so empty that it feels like I cannot give anymore. You make me want to though, all the time. You make me save some of myself for you.
And when you can't, you can wrap me up in words because I will believe them.
I am a child like that-
Hanging on to every last whisper of a promise that you might have for me,
In the spaces between your I Love Yous, I Miss Yous.
Bear with me?
Because sometimes the words are too heavy on my tongue and I am too afraid to tell you all the things I want and miss and need.
And I don't want to ask so much of you and so...
I just won't.
Instead, asking questions to which I have heard the answers to, but want to hear,
in your voice,
over and over and over again.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
I don't know if it'll be your cup of tea but Women Of Asia opens at the LaSalle Flexi Space tomorrow!
Directed by international playwright and director, Asa Gim Palomera, this 90minute show is a collection of stories about Asian women- some are of those in power, those who are bound to tradition, those who are sold into slavery...
I feel it brings to light a lot of issues/themes that are rarely talked about or are considered taboo.
Women of Asia has been staged in other places that include New York, Edinburgh, Melbourne and Bangkok.
Come for a collection of stories that will make you laugh at some bits and cry at others.
Our shows run Thursday - Saturday for two weekends.
Evening shows are at 8pm,
Matinee shows (Saturday) are at 3pm.
Tickets are available on
Hope to see you there!(:
Friday, June 13, 2014
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white clouds just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!"
"Gone from my sight, that's all". She is just as large in mast and spar and hull as ever she was when she left my side; just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at that moment when someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying."
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
I give up. I just.. I give up.
Because anytime I feel a little bit like this, a tiny bit...off, even the slightest bit.
every time that I do-
Something just clicks back into place and makes me go,
Well sod it all, I'm really quite in love with this girl hey.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Talk to me like you want to hear what I have to say, like you're just as interested in all the words I'm not saying as much as the words I am.
Tell me what you think-
We don't have to have the same opinions, we don't even have to speak the same tongue...
But maybe we can engage in a conversation where parts of my body will understand the message you mean to convey and parts of your body will understand me.
Talk with me.
In all the ways we both know how;
with and without words,
With or without sound.
For there are spaces inside of me, empty and hollow and dead- waiting to resonate with a little bit more than this absence.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Of feeling like the wind is eating
Away at your bones
Run the course of your throat
You're chipping at corners,
While I'm wondering if lovers
Who're feeling alone
In time to say goodnight
We're cutting our teeth in
The ships that are sinking
And the boats we've turned around
Now that we've found-
You tuck my name so safely
In your mouth
Yet I am bouts
Of uncertainty and weariness
Somedays are days of breaking
Like the wind is gnawing
At your bones.
But I'll find my way back-
To letters on my skin
on my skin.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
I have never before felt so...
I don't even know what this is for crying out loud!
And it's harder when you say "I give up" but you know you can't wash your hands off it.
That some part of you won't.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Here being this...wishful, wistful place filled with unbearable longing.
Being a collection of thoughts jumping sporadically from one picturesque idea to another isn't always the best thing. I am most often fuelled by the despair that comes from feeling like I haven't done enough. Or rather, that I've done an okay amount but that there is just... so much more that I would like to do.
I scare myself with this being in want.
And I wonder when it'll stop feeling like i'm chasing after things that are always going to be just a little bit out of reach.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
That you learn to trust yourself more,
And that you never forget what an amazing, beautiful person you are and how hard you've worked to get where you are today.
I love you. Like a fat kid loves cake.
Happy birthday, bubby.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Filled with feelings and secrets and time that you've spent mulling over which words to pick-
Sometimes I can hear the smile playing on your lips as your fingers speak. I think about how you take in so very many things, even when people think you aren't looking. I wonder about the effect things around you have, and how, in the snippets of time you get, you place how you feel.
There is so much weight in your words, especially those that are written.
It's like they're hand picked, filled with adoration and gratefulness and just, so much of you..
And then, sometimes,
I wonder if you'll have any words left for me
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Making the decision to have a child is-
Forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone
Monday, May 5, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Take this sinking boat, and point it home-
We've still got time.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
"But if you've got so much going for you outside, why would you teach...us? I mean.. We're just a cca."
It was one of those moments I was reminded why I left acting school.
There are few things that have as great a hold on my heart as theatre does. The way it demands you to throw yourself in, full force and with little consideration to the possibility of any sort of life outside. But also the way it fills you and holds you together as much as it tears you apart, and the way it forces you to deal with things that run parallel in your own life; The way it offers you a process of catharsis and helps you breathe again.
But at some point I started thinking, what if I also got to use this to reach students? What if I got others to feel and understand and use theatre and take from it all the things that I have too?
This is why I teach-
Theatre can be a lot of things for you: An escape, a therapeutic process, a release, a discovery, an understanding of an issue or of a person.
But it also needs to be a safe space for all of that to happen. And I want to be able to provide that safe space to young actors who have decided to get their hands dirty with all this theatre-making.
And if just one student decides to take on acting and greater, deeper levels and falls as impossibly, overwhelmingly in love with theatre as I have been all these years, then I will be happy.
if just one student comes away from my classes a bigger person, a better person, a person who has learnt a little bit more about themselves, then I will be happy too.
Saturday, April 12, 2014
And couldn't we have the same conversations without words that we used to-
Couldn't we just... Be?
Without worry of time limits and responsibilities and people on the fringes calling out to us
With our cell phones on silent, the grass beneath our skin and the sun in our eyes
Couldn't we just...?
Monday, April 7, 2014
Today has been a lot.
I could do with less.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
And when the world drowns you in the roars of its ocean, I want to be the crashing waves that tell you where the shoreline is.
Where home is.
I want to promise you, that there is nothing you will miss when you listen with your eyes closed and your fingers laced with mine.
I want to find the surest way for you to understand-
That you are magic.
Because you hear all the words that some of us do not say, and you feel the tiniest inkling of a feeling before anyone gets a chance to bury it in their subconscious.
That you are magic.
In the quiet that you are amidst this city's senseless cacophony, and in the comfort that you bring when I've been spat back out at the end of an 18-hour day.
when the world drowns you in the roars of its ocean; when it is difficult to hear above the din of fear, of frustration, of anger and exasperation-
I want to be the crashing waves that tell you where the shoreline is.
Where home is.