Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Whiff of Nostalgia


I think we all saw this coming.
this isn't a random picture post. It's a post with my entire school life crammed into a nutshell.
A fucking big nutshell that is.

It's been an incredibly long while-

I left school a year earlier than everyone, and even though I don't regret the outcome, and where i've ended up, I have had longer to miss my school days.
It doesn't quite help that, being the person I was, I spent the best year of my life cutting school like fucking crazy. Which of course, consequently resulted in the worst year of my life (so far).

So, boyfriends and outside activities aside,
these are snippets of life in school which I find myself missing/longing for;
Like the ache of a limb that's no longer there.

I used to hate getting up at ungodly hours.
But i caught these lovely sunrises a whole lot more than I mange to now.
My best friend, and her best friend.
3c1 '06 class banner.
We had a horrifyingly tiny classroom which we nicknamed "The Jail Cell".
It really wasn't that far off actually.

25 of us had to cram into this tiny barred-window oven (other classes has space to walk, and non-grilled windows!). And just so you know how tiny our classroom was-
The front and the back door were exactly one person apart from each other.
I kid you not.
The back door was always blocked by our desks anyways.
On top of that, both doors were falling apart because the locks didn't work and more often than not, Ann would kick the door down.

Don't believe me?
Right beside Bird is the front door, and RIGHT beside Vee, out of frame, is the back door.
The only reason TWO people can squeeze there is because

A) Bird is skinny and asleep
B) Vee is tiny and NOT asleep

This was our favourite place to sit, in between both doors, for our regular snooze/chill out time which consisted of listening to music or being on the phone with boyfriends.
(Applies only to Charlotte and I. We ARE twins after all)
As you can tell,
Sitting between the front and back door made us very difficult to spot from the single, BARRED window which is beside the front door.
Thus, keeping us safely out of sight from spying teachers.
Oh gosh, I do miss her incredibly much.
We were in the toilet. Probably cutting class as usual, and instead, cooping ourselves up in the cubicle.
Fantastic isn't it?
It was Chinese class.
Self-explanatory i think.

Secondary One.
In the school, before it was rebuilt.
Now this, is sad
It's hard to believe, really.
Back to Secondary 3 and the Maths classes that I detested so much.
This is our teacher and her skirt.
Or rather, the lack of it.

If you're wondering how I managed such a fantastic shot-
I was sitting on the floor for, once again, either not finishing my homework/ failing my maths test/ being me.
One of them.
I look FUGLY.
BUT what other memories are there to hold on to eh?
Whom I haven't seen since we got our O level results.
This was the first picture I ever took with this phone. Which was the Motorola Pebl.
It was also the first phone I wanted, and picked out by myself((:
As usual, I got it BEFORE it became cool and well known and came in a million different colours(:
But doesn't Vee look adorable!
She's really sleeping by the way.

I call this,
This is Vee's rotting foot cover. And she saved it out of a dustbin and watched it grow little furry holes.
I know my photos are in random order but well,
bear with it.
This was the year I was retained (2007) : Second chance at Secondary three.
Joelle and her Valentine's Day gift from me.

That's another thing I really miss-
How in school, every single occasion is celebrated as such.
And the thing is, I knew even then, that these would be one of the things I'd miss about school.
Caryn looks like she's studying doesn't she?
It's an art my dears,
sleeping in class, with the exasperated math teacher right in front of you,
BUT looking like you're studying!

You could just be absolutely shameless!

Hello Pris(:
Valentine's Day and our test-tubes of red wine.
Math class with Priz which involves
1) cleaning our faces with wet wipes
2) tidying up our hair
3) taking pictures of how clean and refreshed we are
4) settling in to pay attention, ten minutes before the end of the lesson.

Back to 2006, i think it was.
Clearly this was a first day of school of one of the terms.
I was enjoying how clean my shoes were while waiting for Vicky to hurry the fuck up and join me for breakfast.
Yes, even then, we enjoyed our meals at the expense of school hours.
But it's not like it was bad,
i mean,
we always texted our classmates to ask if they'd like breakfast too!

Now THAT is class spirit(:



Directly behind Anna is the back door, and to Anna's left (which is the right of the picture)
is *drum roll*

And as is quite clear, you can see the barred windows which I'm starting to think, were put there to prevent students like us throwing ourselves out of the window.
Oh yes, you can also see that it was the front door that was constantly blocked by desks.
And of course, in the case of a fire, we would probably all die because

a) The doors open inwards (which everyone knows is bad because in a state of panic we'd fall against each other)
c) And if the door fails, we would be unable to climb out the windows to save ourselves.

What a thing to miss eh?
Thing is, this was really the best year of my life which i completely took for granted.

the girl in the picture is our class monitress and her role-model ways.

Buu (Vee), doing what she does best-

And smiling at phone-cameras which aren't supposed to be used.
This is the little ledge bit that juts out, right beside the toilet.
I think we flung someone's shoe out there (might've been Vee's foot cover)
and the BRAVE AND AWESOMEZ Ang Ann Na went to save it.

Yes these are my classmates.
Check out Vee's lovely face.

The tree in the background has paper leaves which fall at random. (It's part of the effect!)
It also has carvings on the tree trunks, JUST LIKE A REAL TREE!
And it also has a bird on it!
See that white bit to the corner of the frame? That's a printed picture of Bird.
So yes, we have a Bird on the tree.

The girl in the far left corner of the picture is Charlotte, my twin:D:D
We used to look even more alike actually.

We even managed to fool our very gullible Chemistry teacher.
It was one of those restless days where we all swapped name tags with each other for the heck of it.
She called Charlotte and I answered and Vice Versa. Then she took a double take and was like,
"Oh yea! YOU TWO REALLY DO LOOK ALIKE! And some more, your name is Charis and her name is Charlotte! But I'm not going to let you bluff me, I know you're not related!"
But the entire class backed us up with,
"It's true Mrs Chew! It's just that not a lot of people know!"
"Really leh Mrs Chew, you mean YOU didn't know they were twins?"

She is still rather disbelieving, so we provide her with facts!
1) See, our names are similar! (True)
2) Charis lives with mommy, while Charlotte lives with daddy! (ALSO TRUE)
3) That's why we've got different last names, we took on the last names of our parents.
(yea right)
4) The parent we live with doesn't get on with the other (TRUE)

Of course, we just didn't tell her that our parents were completely different. hahahaha.

Hello Bird(:
Why so pensive, hmmm?

Gosh DD,
yes, I fucking miss you.

this is the result of little things like going to VJ with Enqing to watch Naddy.
It wasn't my school, but yeah well.
The whole vibe, spirit, everything else.
It just got to me and made me miss school.

Really silly stuff you know, like singing the school song after the event or coming up with a cheer that only people of the school could respond to.

It made me smile actually, the whole memory of how I used to be part of something like that.

Besides that one evening, i mean,
everyone's finally started school.
If you're not in JC, you're in Poly. If you're not in Poly you're in MDIS.
If you're not there you're in some school that has classes.
Classes= friends= hanging out= hanging out with friends.
If you're not in school, you're bumming around with a part-time job or the telly set. So this wouldn't apply to you.

Everyone has a life a their new environment and no, I won't deny it,
I am rather envious.
Of course I'm terribly happy for everyone, but still, rather envious.

I truly am missing school like crazy.
I'm missing the mundane things like assembly, and falling asleep in class.
I'm missing the annoying things like, being caught for tattoos and piercings.
I'm missing the creativity involved in thinking of a hairstyle that is acceptable and yet, different from everyone else's.


Oh wells,
the grass will always be greener on the other side, won't it?

I must say, I am very happy with my life right now.
Loveless, sexless, focused. That's sounds like I don't have a life, but you see, I really do!
My priorities are my own and not anyone else's (sort of like last year)
and well, I'm just so incredibly happy!

I just sort of wonder,
what I'm missing out on that's all.

But i will get my fair share soon I guess(:

Can't wait for college!

this brings me to the end of my five hour post!
It says 9pm, but right now,
it's actually 1.59am on May First.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I woke up at 6.30am this morning, for my fantastic first day at Centre Stage.

I had back to back lessons in the morning (9-10.30/ 11-12.30),
back to back lessons in the afternoon (2.30-3.30/ 3.30-5.30)
and finally, evening lessons from 7pm - 9pm.

I don't know if you can tell but I am quite, quite dead.
My voice is gone, I am tired, I have to tidy up my room because it's gotten shitty again,
i have rehearsals, a meeting and yes, lessons as usual.

I feel like I might just collapse at any fucking minute.

I'm falling asleep in front of Heather but the thing is, I'm helping The Little Creature with her Literature.

kill me

pretty please

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sesame Street Orgy

Aren't we all restless?
Okay I know you guys aren't because you guys are busy with school and other random school-like activities.


It's a bit hard to notice when I've disappeared because,
me being busy means that I blog random two liners and expect you to understand it.
Well damn honey, shouldn't you by now?

Shut up Charis.

Clearly I'm wandering down a mentally-destructive path.

I had a hair cut yesterday.
Had it all planned, and set.
All i wanted was a trim because i wanted to grow out my hair.
But then, bangs and long hair was too Carla and she pulls it off real well.
So i opted for something else.
Something impulsive and random. Because, that's what you do when you're restless.

I liked it after it was cut, though I was a bit unsettled at how poofy it looked post-washing/blowdrying.
Told myself to like it better. And well, i kind of did.
Now I'm restless and want to do something.
I want to like it the way I used to.

I shouldn't have touched my fucking hair.
It'll grow out. whatevs.

I like messy hair.
My hair is messy.

We have officially completed and practiced our entire set.
yay us, and the whole bunch of new songs.
Personally, I prefer this set much more because Enqing wrote more songs and they are fantastic.
I swear to you,
they really really are.
They're different and terribly deep and cheem.

Today was good.

I've been feeling fat and I feel like stabbing random people for the fucking hell of it.
That's how restless I am, and that's how badly I'm losing it.
I miss school.
I miss school and hating it.
I miss my friends who are busy with their random schools.
my school moved to Parkway Parade.
Makes you think of a walking house/school- randomly walking the streets and sitting down somewhere.

Schools don't do that.

Work is tiring and I think they think I'm a skank after I waltzed in wearing this super cute top as a dress.
It looked better a dress than a top, that's for sure!

I'm starting work tomorrow at Centre Stage.
Terribly, superbly excited :D:D
Now this officially adds Drama Teacher to the list of a million and one things I'm doing :D


Saturday, April 26, 2008

hands dipped in orange

Don't grow up too soon now,
save your strawberry kisses for me
Santa Clause is real
Don't let people tell you not to believe

Today (or rather, yesterday)
was such a mixture of upses and downses.
I feel quite bipolar in that sense. No, seriously.

I'm too hung over thanks to a huge helping of Real Life.

I'll update another time when I'm not thinking about the fragility of life and how fun carving names into skin is.
Am i scaring you?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It seems much too long ago to remember, and,
I'm almost afraid to.

Church has never failed to be the breath of fresh air that I need.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

a suprise for you!

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

We always find the things we've been desperately looking for, only when we don't need it.

in all bipolar tendencies

Yes, you've been forsaken.
Possibly for a group of more avid readers. People who leave me comments and make me feel like my rubbish is being read.

That's not true, i just felt like typing that to pretend that I have a life.

So yes, thanks for asking, today was just fine, aside from the fact that my schedule was packed to the hilt as usual.
I let my last student off twenty minutes early because the poor kid was nodding off right in front of me.
At fourteen, he attends lessons and whatnot from morning til night. His English is decent, it's just minor things. He's harsh on himself though.
This is how hard he studies;
When he arrived twenty minutes early for my lesson and I was still busy with another student,
he sat outside the classroom at a desk and did his own work.
My word.

He's quite cute too though that doesn't mean a thing. hahahaha

I think the show today was the best one that we've done so far. So i'm pretty pleased.
We haven't been having rave reviews though no surprise there.
Wounded's a better script. Though it's strange cos they were the first to have that whole, incident.
We haven't had complaints so far, aside from this one school who's representative claimed she didn't understand what was going on. That's a strange point because well, Reject is the easiest, most straightforward script.


I have no fucking idea why I'm up so late right now.

I think my reserve energy kicked in and isn't letting me sleep. My body is really tired, that's for sure.
I had milk and oreos for breakfast but didn't have time for anything else til i got home at nine-ish and had,
milk and oreos again.
And a couple of spoonfuls of soup.

This is so hilarious.
Su ann told me that her mommy started up a blog cos my mommy had one.
I went for a look see andandaaaaaaaand
1) It's pink (sorry i love pink, though not as much as red!)
2) It's so cute!
3) in reference to number 2, it's called ma-ma-mummy!
Hello! utter cute-ness.

I think it's so cute.
One line that stood out in particular to me was,
(Su ann's eating) fish burger, no tartar sauce, extra fries and ice-lemon tea (or something along those lines).
It really struck me you know, because it's something so insignificant to us as children.
There is such minute detail that we'd think it cute for a boyfriend/girlfriend to remember it, but we don't think much of our mommies remembering little details like that.
I thought there was truly a profound beauty in that line.


(oh don't i sound bipolar)

After ages and ages of constantly checking back for my results, my assignment, which i handed in two weeks ago, and my exam, which i took last Thursday, both came in.
I freaking got 83% for my assignment, which although is a 2% improvement from my first assignment, STILL SUCKS FUCK I TELL YOU.
I bet it's just because my professor can't see me from way over here and SO doesn't like me):
sighsigh fucking sigh

I don't even want to talk about my grammar diagnostic test.
I couldn't possibly study for it because there's nothing to study. I mean that literally as in, we don't have material to study. It's just something that you DO when you're over there. A test to see where you stand in English.
I don't know how come so many Americans i know personally (sorry no offence) don't have fantastic grammar considering how their paper is SHIT hard.
this is coming from me.
Fucking embarrassed to call myself an English Teacher now.

I passed. A pass-pass, not a 59.9 kind of thing.
Nonetheless, it's still shitty grades and i'm fucking upset.

I haven't even started on Philosophy yet.
What in the world.


Sunday, April 20, 2008

hide & seek

This was sparked off by seeing an old picture of myself amongst my friend's friendster pictures.
I stared for a long while at the picture,
a part of me finding her so familiar and yet, another part of me pulling away.

I really needed to talk, but everyone's busy.
No one's to blame for that actually; I'm no better.

I seem to find myself back in that place again.
The equilibrium between hope and hopelessness isn't as fantastic as it sounds, it just means you're back to square one and you're not quite sure which way is up.

It was 3am, that night.
You can smell the wind at 3am, you know.
At 3am, through your sleep, your eyes barely open, each smell, taste and touch is heightened.
Seems it anyway.
It was 3.30am, that night, two years and just about a month afterwards.
I could smell the wind, and i could taste my tears.

I hate being here, in this place, on this piece of crumbling rock.
Watching people mill around. They do things (most of them anyway) because they HAVE to, because THAT'S LIFE.
Because, to fight against what everyone's been doing thanklessly for the past century and more, would completely upset the entire universe and Saturn's ring is sure to slip off and crash right into Earth.

Who are you?
Who am I?
Why does who you are make me who I am?
Does who I am make me who you are?

There is no safety net below us.
We stand tall, focused only on getting to the other end of the tightrope.
Nobody looks down. To look down would just be suicide, and everyone knows that.

Well, I'm looking down right now-
And though i don't feel like falling, I feel like sitting down.
Yes, right in the middle of this tightrope. Just so that I can stare between my feet and count the faint lines that mark positions on the floor.

How is it that, so long after,
I still can't open those doors to the other world without feeling my eyes fill up and my chest ache?

Do you know that i miss you?
I miss you, how you used to be, how you used to laugh.
I miss me too. I miss how I could stare into the mirror and know who was staring back.
I miss how I could deal with not always having all the answers because,
the one that mattered most, had an answer engraved on the ring around my finger.

Why is she so strange?
This new girl, this person I barely know.
Are my eyes really that vacant?
I'm yanking open drawers and throwing open cupboard doors, but I can't seem to find all those relationships I held onto so long ago.

I know exactly where I am, and where I'm going.
I know exactly what I want, and what I am too busy to want.
So do i step over the shards of a life that's broken around me, or do i stop to pick up the pieces?

Where are you, and why are we here?
Why couldn't this all be so much simpler and involve no more that cups of Earl Grey and pieces of shortbread?

I hate this,
I hate not knowing; not understanding.

I want to figure it all out.

But i suppose, like all things,
let's just leave it to another day.
We all have work to do and nobody has time to wipe their snot.

Ever get the feeling,
that you're starting to miss who you used to be?
Miss the feeling that you felt, the penknives that you used, and the tears that you cried?

Ever get the feeling that,
the person in the mirror isn't really all that familiar anymore.
But you can't really place when she started to change.


with our heart wide open and our eyes wide shut.

It doesn't get any more cliched than that darlings.

Set me free,
leave me be.
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Yes indeed, aren't we all "bewildered by how love works"?
(quote; unquote Janice Wong, Straits Times)

You've reached in deep enough, to pull out your heart -still dripping with the stuff inside your body- and given it to the creature who stands before you.
The creature who says your name in this unexplainable, indescribable, way. It's like your name is safe in their mouths and there is something perfect about the way your name slips out, that makes you really think, this is it.

Resounding crash, your heart (which isn't your own anymore), tossed back to you with no more than a "Here you go babe."
Casual wave, like those five years were no more than a five hour date: "Have a nice life."

I'm not speaking completely from experience. Don't start thinking now, it might hurt.

You've given up, I've given up.
Haven't we all?
Because you know better than to be an idealist.
Because you know better than to laugh, and give your heart away at 10pm in the mrt station.
Because you know better than to stare at the person, when the person's not looking back, only to find yourself seeing so much that you really can't pull away.
Because you know how to do all the calculations for this perfectly proven formula. Formulas don't fail you now, do they? So your calculations must be correct, your answer is proven. It is fool-proof.


Because there is no right answer.
Because there is no hard and fast rule, there are no worn out methods.
Because it is always, and will always be, trial and error.
Because there is no way out.
Because that is the only reason that wine bars and sleazy clubs stay open- To make you feel alive after you die.

Pitiful Creatures, sod-covered bare feet.
We're walking the same paths, banging into the same walls, waking up after too many drinks, caught in the same damn dingo-gnaw moments.
We won't learn, because we can't.

We tell ourselves we can though.

"Oh after my last four year relationship, i know what went wrong."
Keep telling yourself that at the end of the next few relationships, it does make you feel like you're growing up.

We live and learn (or so we say, we came up with that line after all),
break and hate.
There is little more to it.

We fall down, cry, pick ourselves up.
Put our fingers back into that same electrical-socket just because our tiny fingers can fit in.
Still touch the kettle after it sings its song.

All we can do,
is look at the next person and say,
"I'm tired, I can't do this anymore. Please don't hurt me,
because i don't have the strength left to cry."

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Here are a couple of fantastic advertisements which i found!

A Charis Vera Asswipe Production

Camera dude: The Little Creature (TLC)
Actress: (Clearly we couldn't afford more than one)
A random French maid whom we found getting high on shoe polish.

Please don't kill/ sue me.
It's NOT the product you think it is, similarities to people/ products/ clothes/ places are ALL coincidental.

SOFTSCRUBBBB- Floor Cleaner (names changed! Similarities are coincidental!)

FABULOUSO!- Clothes Soap (names changed! Similarities are coincidental!)

Shampoo Joy- I needn't explain

BEEZEE- bath soap

This is my favourite:D:D


I had.
A really really horrible nightmare last night.

For some reason though, (Thank God)
it didn't affect me at all during the day. I couldn't remember it, or i didn't have time to think about it.

But, considering it involved Enqing, i told him.
And suddenly the images were flying back at me screaming with an evil ringing laughter.
And i was telling him and crying, and crying, and crying.

And i told Victor.
Bits that i left out when i told Enqing but, i realized, made the entire thing worse for me.
I kept crying and for a moment,
I actually just stopped.
Stopped everything, pressing the tissue against my face and finding myself shaking, gasping for air and choking on my tears.

and i'm scared this might bring me to tears again so.
i'm gonna go away for a bit


Isn't my little boy just absolutely adorable?!

oh my,
one of the joys i get from teaching.

He's such a hardworker, and he's so smart you know! Seriously
schoolgirl crushes and butterfly kisses,
love in different forms

;afijleiofghf lawjhdfoaihsdf floshvu hefohslhsdufouwe
oefiiw oeifshoeo iaeii
f wifrihirhf oewierieyrhf woloisd
wf iwhfh lodweoirie r asjdpeidnfv oafeihh' ifowoeut hoa '
qf if uiehieh'

ahef oefhi 'HGH!

I felt like i really needed to do that.
So now that I have, i feel better indeed(:

Indeed. Indeeeeeed!


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Songwriters Showcase

An amazing platform.
Be there,
please be there.

Enqing and I decided we weren't going to redo the same set we did at Pollen.
Wouldn't that just be completely pointless?
So we've been cracking our brains after work, during work, during tea breaks and, especially in my case, even in the toilet.

Together, we've come up with a completely new set of songs for this particular performance.
(We might/might not keep Just A Little Bit More Than Friends)

For a month, I'd say that required quite a bit of work.
Enqing's written more songs this time, and we do have new songs we've worked on together.

It's going to be a fantastic night(:


Monday, April 14, 2008

too stupid to realize

I spent last night up, though i'm not complaining of course.
It was really nice, and I haven't had phonecalls like those for a while.
Refreshing, to say the least.

On a completely different note though,
today wasn't a fantastic day for me until my last lesson.
Though i had sufficient rest, I was horribly tired.
Sabastien as well as my first student could tell too. And I was a little less patient, unfortunately.

I was cold and tired and pensive.
Not a good combination in the very least.

My Strawberry Tea was too sweet, which clearly didn't help anything.
Sat and chatted with Sabastien for a little while. I did have an hour to kill after all, because, yes unfortunately, i realized I came for my lesson an hour too early.
As if that wasn't bad enough (but purely by the grace of God, it turns out),
my first student asked that we cut our lesson to an hour.
Which basically gave me yet another hour to kill before my next class. I was tired and sleepy and very grumpy.
But for some reason, i pulled through and was absolutely peachy at the writer's group((:


I think it's amazing, how i could almost have believed.
How, if i didn't yank back the chain of reality and inject myself with much needed cynicism, i might find my mind wandering.
And really, who has time to play the fool these days?

Maybe i'm largely fooling myself.
Spewing out relationship theories that i secretly never plan on practicing anyway.

But i mean, that can't be it.

I'm quite lost.
Dull throbbing, and stream of senselessness.
Can't find words to place it, anything at all for that matter.

I love how bella gives up this kind of thinking after a minute or two.
And she says, quite matter-of-factly, that she can't fucking be bothered to think about emotions. So really, to hell with it all and shoot up.

Sure as hell would save me whatever brain cells i might have left.

glass slippers that don't fit

Charis, Charis, Charis.

There has to be some form of learning,
some idea, though vague and fuzzy, of what every single thing boils down to.
What is at the bottom of every wink from across the room, every smile flashed and every flush hidden-
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It will still amaze you dear,
how much you can have in common with people and how oddly connected you might feel.
And what will never fail to amaze you more is,
how completely pointless most of those are.

Your two favourite boys, are your two favourite boys for a reason, you realize.
They don't make you cry even though they have enough of you to break.

Pearl necklaces will break my dear.
And you will watch those pretty white things clatter to the floor, and it will hurt.
why should you even bother picking those little things up, when you can turn on a single perfect heel and walk away?

That's my girl.

Sunday, April 13, 2008



The Little Creature is so strange, and so freaking hilarious.
I love listening to her amazing class tales.

This is the Protector of her class!
(Elmo will know if you try to take anything)

Elmo also has fantastic fashion sense and helps them out with Mathematics.

Isn't he such a happy creature!

I honestly do miss these hilariously lame-assed stuff that we used to do in Secondary School.
You know, when the lessons are so amazingly boring and dull, when the days are mundane and blended together. When we grip tight to the edges of our plastic table to keep ourselves from hurling it out the window.
When we find joy in such utter stupidity.

Oh deeeaaaaar!
I miss school so much!

Of course i don't miss the gross school smell, though i never had that problem.
Nerizza told me on more than one occasion how she could smell my Moonflower body spray from two levels up. Although it's a tad strong for teenage noses at 7am, it sure as hell smells better than everyone else at 7PM!

Oh Memories!
Trips to the prata shop/ cafe cartel/ right opposite (where i now live) for lunch. Shopping sprees at gasp! Popular, to buy more pens to make you feel like you actually have a life.
Bringing in vodka in an ice mountain water bottle/ medicine bottle and taking shots out of Holy Communion cups.


I must say though, we never had things like, Elmos hanging on the whiteboard to protect the class.
We did have my amazing sculpture; A potted plant with pieces of blades and broken glass and broken mirrors plastered all over it. We put it on the teacher's table and it was our form of weapon.
Our classroom (in Sec 3) was pretty much like a jail cell anyway, so i suppose our violence was expected.



Let's have sex, and then what?

I wrote a song once. It was called,
Let's Have Sex and then What?

Throughout the song, though a tad bit stereotypical, my point was, what happens when it's all over?
When you've done the deed and smoked your cigarette,
you're going to climb out of my bed at four in the morning to go home, aren't you?

It's painful how girls fall for it all the time;
How we believe the "i love you"s and "yes, i'll love you in the morning"s.
Never got us anywhere did it?

I'm not talking about girls being okay with the emotionless sex (sexless-sex, i call it).
I'm talking about girls who still believe that surely males are not capable of going that low, saying such wonderful things just to get into your knickers.
I'm talking about girls who still hold onto the idea of sex-sex, albeit out of marriage.

I'm pulling out the plug of sex within the confines of marriage because this is a bit past that-

Someone told me that,
the key is precisely to have emotionless sex. Sex, without strings attached, because emotions screw everything up.

But I mean, seriously speaking, don't fuck buddies get a bit tired?
Knowing that, after all the body-shuddering, name-screaming, multiple-orgasmic 120 seconds, the person beside you is going to clean up, and head out the door? Possible snitching a tenner or two for the cab fare home?

It was one of the major reasons i didn't go on dating this particular girl. Even though she was really cute and hot and sweet, she was completely okay with continuing to sleep with this guy who, in my opinion, treated her like crap.
She was scarily used to him saying, "This has to be quick, i'm rushing back for a meeting."
She gave HIM excuses.
Maybe that scared me more.

How many sexless-sex nights can one go before starting to feel like a whore?
How can you fall in love, when you've downed an entire bottle of bourbon on the rocks and can barely see the face of the person you're making out with?
How can some of us be so stupid?

Vows of celibacy mean something to me.
while I might not be having mind-blowing, shoulder-biting, ass-whipping sex with a random person from Zimbabwe, I have this vague idea that I'm probably happier than you.

Amazing, or at least I think so.
I should've asked you, shouldn't I, back then?
Let's have sex, and then what?
I'd have liked to hear your reply, cos i don't really think you'd be jumping out of bed to make me coffee and breakfast.

I'd rather have a sexless life, than a sexless-sex life.
Maybe you'll scoff and say that I'll take all of this back when i'm having lots of sex with random people.
I AM human, but I'm keeping my damn vow of celibacy for a damn long time darlings.

wait for it, wait for it-

Today's speaker said that,
perhaps we think that we have an emotional need; Need for a companion (of sorts)
but maybe we'll find that, all we needed all this while, was a more intimate walk with God.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

The little creature's fascination, and mine

with my hair.
She's seems more crazy about it than me sometimes. haha
but it did make my day when she said my hair looked really nice,
especially cos i thought i looked like a huge white hippo (rare species indeed!)

Aren't my heart-shaped earrings just the cutest?:D
Enqing made them out of Coffee Bean stirrers and i made them into earrings! (all by myself!)

these pictures were taken at Spotlight where there's the whole LELONG LELONG SALE going on.
Bought a couple of stuff, which included a knitting magazine but i refrained from buying these very pretty pink things (yarn thingys, whatever they're called. it's for knitting), because i knew i just wanted to buy them cos they looked all pretty and not to mention, pink(:

I left only with a small handful and then went round in search for a place for dinner.
Decided on Swensens (my suggestion!) cos we haven't been there in like eons.
And my my myyyyyy!
Clearly, a year plus break from the restaurant has brought in changes which include an influx of cute waiters!
Okay, not really.
Only two were cute.

That's really a lot coming from me who has been so incredibly non-interestedo in anything, especially guys!
So this particular guy is really really reeeeeaaaally cute.
Freaking drool-worthy, i swear. It wasn't the chocolate fudge malt that i was interested in. In a very Esther-pretty way, he was cute. I even called Priz up to ask what Esther's brother's name was. No, it wasn't him of course.

Anyway, back to point!
This guy was like xhwgofhxkjaSxhlxjzoufhiwf!sklghal!dfklgih!-ly cute. This is like, an awesome first in a long while. I haven't been seeing guys of his caliber in absolute ages.
There hasn't been anyone this dishy since like, the dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in a relationship!
Mom placidly pointed out that i see a dishy guy on a semi-regular basis.

True, i'll give her that.
But see, Enqing, even though he's dishy, [omg i just gave your head another reason to swell! hahaha ((: ] is like one of my two favorite guys in the world. The other is Victor of course! So that's completely different!

Anyway, he (who's name starts with D!) was awfully prompt in topping up our glasses with water and kept calling us m'am. ): You can call me Charis! hahaha. Whatevs.
I'll bet he's pretty new a this, and so, hasn't gotten tired of running around and still being really polite and friendly and cute when he sneezes.
OMG, yes!
He's super cute when he sneezes lah! And he was balancing plates while sneezing when mom said "Bless You" and we both mistook her for wanting the bill. hahahaha

Mommy took a serviette and wrote,
D! (his full name of course)
Call me! [inserts my cell phone number]

I grabbed it, turned it over and wiped my chocolatey mouth with it instead. hahaha.
The rest of the night seemed very odd, though it was definitely laughter-filled.

keeping my salivations to myself ; Probably just go back to seeing beng-ish looking waiters. ):

I cleared my entire day for
1) Reject Superstar at Ping Yi Secondary
2) English Exam at School (Tanjong Pagar)
3) Surgery in the evening

After the first was done, i moved on to my second major activity of the day. I was actually really looking forward to it. hahaha.
However, when I got there, I found out that I had scheduled it for next Thursday and not this Thursday. That's a first innit?
Getting all hyped up for an exam too early.

That aside, I met up with mom who was heading to Raffles for a free facial at some unknown place which was celebrating its Excellent Service Award.
Clearly there must've been a mistake because i watched my mom, who was originally in a good mood, get all irate and sweaty and pissed off.
Well yes, I would be too.
We walked round in fucking circles and they were unable to tell us their location even though we told them every single landmark.
It was near China Square (Chinatown) but they insisted that the station was Raffles Place.
Granted, it's a walkable distance, but it'd be even closer from Chinatown! Dimbats!

They didn't wanna throw in a second free facial for me so I waddled off to TCC just like i had planned to from the start (even before running circles like shit heads).
Grabbed magazines, today's paper, a Peach Me Up and wedges; Charis Vera's all set to kill two hours.
It is my favourite chill out place after all.

I even started out on two new songs!
How inspiring TCC is(((:

Oh yes, I also found out that the private clinic i go to doesn't do minor surgeries.
So basically, i couldn't do it today.

Which basically explains why i ended up at spotlight, resulting in us having dinner at Swensen's, resulting in the sighting of uber eye-candy, resulting in excessive drool time, resulting in bumping into Pastor Andrew and wife, resulting in a half hour more at Starbucks, RESULTING IN, meeting Aunty Kheng Mui at Dohby Ghaut Station where i think she's figured out that my pawprint tattoo is real. hmm.

That's my day in a nutshell actually.
I could've done that from the start but then, it wouldn't have held your attention for long now would it? Not that this is doing any better. hahahaha.

I really ought to go for surgery asap though.
My scars hurt like a freaking bitch.
It hurts when I stretch/bend/relax/tense up/shudder/shiver/have goosebumps/ yawn/ sneeze/ cough/ lean/ don't lean/ get brushed with a feather.
Yes, that's how bad it is.

We were just on the phone:
EQ: Okay my phone is low on batt
Me: WHY! hurry go charge!
EQ: It's gonna die anyti-
Line goes dead.

Soon would've been an understatement dear. hahaha

So what i've been busy with?
Of recent, well,
Assembly shows, new students, studying Nursery Mandarin to teach Da Bin, Assignments, Strawberry Blended Tea, Song writing, preparation for the gig in May, Keeping my room tidy and keeping smelly feeties (including my own) out of it.

I love my room now!
Though as Victor quite rightly pointed out;
If you have time to tidy up you room it means that your time isn't taken up by another.
In other words, it means that there's no one who gonna see your new tidied up room anyways.

Freaking tired now
I've spent the last two hours blogging. How do i even manage!

The Little Creature's Experimentation with colour and effects-

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Red letter days, a fantabulous mood


WARNING: I'm not the only tranny!

*collects self and falls back into chair*

Now today is what i'd call a day put to fantastic use.
You might have already guessed how pissed I get at myself for wasting my life away.

Well today my day started at eight in the morning, and i didn't have the urge to crawl back into bed. I decided to give Da bin a break and texted her mom.
Fifteen past eight, fresh out of the shower, i started my lovely lovely day.

Starting the machine, I made myself breakfast complete with coffee and caught the morning news.
I subjected myself to getting ear-rape by a local mini-celebrity who was once on idol (there's a reason she didn't win it). Interestingly enough, part of the morning news included local singer/songwriters who had produced their own albums without a record label.
(pom poms!)

After breakfast, news, coffee and bits of Ellen Degenerous, i went to walk Homer.
His yanking on the leash does no good for my painfully healing wounds. I'll be going for surgery tomorrow though- supposedly anyway. I don't know how that'll be possible though with an effing DimWit of a receptionist. eurgh.

The weather was just perfect, and I managed to sun my clothes sufficiently.
Post- hanging out another pole of clothes, I went down to Kovan's popular to pick up books for Da Bin.
Poor thing's gonna have a shitload to do.
Mommy's been laughing at how kiasu i am. Seriously though, we're going nowhere at the moment. Well, actually we are, but i have to push her harder, so that she won't constantly be running behind the damn train for stations on end.
So i picked up fifty bucks worth of books and lugged them home whereby i packed up for work.

I met one of my two new (China) students today.
A teenager who's taking his exam to get into mainstream school.
You don't know this, but you can't just jump into Primary Six;
So, your entrance exam directs you either to Primary Five or Secondary One.
Of course, based largely on the fact that he is already a teenager, we're hoping he can get into the latter.
Seems a far stretch though, because he barely understood a word of what i was saying.
I feel more progress with Da Bin, seriously.
This is incredibly scary because I have about seven hours to make a difference.
And if he can barely understand me in English, how in the world am i to help him in Math (which i'm teaching him too) ?
Lord help us dying creatures.

Work ended late as a result. (I wasn't expecting the new kid)
But I'm awfully pleased with the amount that I've accomplished today.
I headed down to my life-support (Coffee Bean!) and picked up cakes for the family. Sabastien's back at this branch, so we went out for a chat.

He's really an amazing guy and Singapore cafe's ought to have more people like him.
The place pays him crap though, and I won't be quite surprised if he goes over to Starbucks where he's already been offered TWICE what he's getting now.

The only unfortunate thing of course, is that Coffee Bean would seriously have lost out, like in every major way possible.

C'est la vie

I'm off to study now.
You'll never guess what-