Saturday, August 30, 2008
It's amazing, how a couple of days can feel like an entire year.
It's funny how so much about you and how you feel and how you see things can change but then, when you look around at the rest of the world, everything's exactly the same.
People still talk the same, still laugh the same.
They eye you as you stare blankly out the window- which you don't even notice you're doing.
And they shrug their shoulders and roll their eyes and go,
"Well what's up with her today?"
"haha. bet someone didn't get any last night that's why."
Peals of laughter which make you look up and smile, and want to laugh along too.
I've loved the amount of time I managed to spend with mommy this week.
i absolutely love.
And I liked last night too, albeit rather swollen-eye inducing.
But I don't really like myself.
I stare at the stuff around me sometimes and I feel like disappearing.
a hole doesn't seem like a bad place to be for a couple of hundred years. I don't want to think, don't want to breathe.
I want to sit down somewhere until I find the strength to stand up and walk away.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
IT'S A MOUSE.
A FREAKING CUTE MOUSE
kay, shutting up.
So Victor and I did hair! Yay us!
We scratched the whole, highlight idea though. Too much extra shit.
Not to mention how much colour my hair takes up man.
It turned out nice(:
I am officially being like re-infected with my fucking virus or something.
Didn't I say I was feeling better the other day?
Yeah well for some reason, something got fucked and I feel like my head and nose is exploding and my body's begging to fly into itty bitty tiny pieces.
I cannot remember feeling so horrible.
I've to work tomorrow morning and Thursday morning and Friday morning.
And i'm not planning on taking anymore days off.
I mean, it's the end of the month, might as well just finish off.
I don't think I'm far off from dying, and that's the worst bit, dammit.
Monday, August 25, 2008
But Justin groping that girl's balls (in case you can't see),
seemed to keep me laughing longer. hahahah
wow, doesn't he know how to make a girl smile!
Like Justin pointed out,
I don't know what to say because my life is so fucking boring.
I don't think my life is really all that boring. But it ought to be, I ought to be studying and complaining about what a chore it is!
I WILL finish my two assignments this week though, and I can't wait(:
I got my Philosophy assignment back today.
It's not fantastic and I'm feeling a bit shitty, especially because a couple out of those five wrong answers were just, careless.
It's amazing what five wrong answers can do to your grade.
I've got a terribly interesting essay topic which I'm working on:
In your psychology class, the professor has decided to have you analyze your own dreams in a report that will be part of a larger report by the entire class on dreams. Write an essay classifying your dreams.
What types of dreams do you have?
So yes, this is what I'm working on right now.
On top of sorting out my kids' final drama piece which is due in a couple of weeks.
I went out for lunch with Justin today.
We talked about rubbish and fat men with skinny personalities,
fantastic sushi, how some people are born knowing they're gay and how others just grow into it.
My temperature's coming back I think. shoot.
I'M RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY TO YOU!
SO I WILL POST UP RANDOM PICTURES
MY BABY ON TEE VEE
i want someone to grow old with too!
I was showing Da bin what a clown was.
SEE WHAT I DO FOR YOU VICTOR!
WAH LAO, EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAIL ME SOME MORE LAH.
now you are forever indebted to me!
I need to get off the panadol and EC
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Victor was an absolute darling (it must be the rain, I swear) and decided to come over and cook!
Sooo, my family became his guinea pigs for his trial run of a beef stew.
Which, by the way, was really really nice.
By the time we got cooking, I really wasn't feeling that grubby and I was fine throughout dinner too.
I am getting a bit headachey now though, so i ought to crawl into bed with my meds before I freaking drop down dead.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU (for the millionth time) FOR TONIGHT'S FANTASTIC DINNER VICTOR! I AAAAAAAAAAAABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!
WE'RE NOT DEAD! YAY YOU(((:
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I cannot fucking be bothered.
I had all this anger and I was going to write it all out.
He really is a prick and the thing is, not all the man-insults us girls can put together would be able to properly describe him.
So i'm not even going to try.
Maybe for once, it makes sense to just roll my eyes and walk away.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Or somewhere uncivilised with few people.
Even a jungle, in a cute little treehouse and animals that talk.
10-INCH CUSTOM MADE HIGH HEELS THAT'S WHAT. Well, it's the first thing I'd buy, materialistic as it sounds.
Of course followed buy a cute little house in the UK just for myself and a nice spacious one for the entire family.
I actually dance, believe it or not. In dance rooms, with mirrors and nobody watching.
Wait. I'm living abroad right now aren't I? fuck shit
When we move into our home, hmmm. I'd get a domestic help to keep the place clean and tidy(:
Thursday, August 21, 2008
That I hate the place I'm living in right now,
and what this entire situation's doing to my mother.
I personally think Janice can do her O levels better in the UK than in Singapore because of the immense flexibility. At the same time, I understand the whole thing with Secondary school and friends and just simply, wanting to wrap up.
So, as spiteful and venomous as I might sound, I applaud her for wanting to stay on for her O levels. And if that's what she wants to do, she should.
I detest the fact that my mother has spent her life having to uproot and replant herself.
Right now I'm thinking, Janice and I can start over anywhere but it'd be impossibly hard for my mom.
So why not move back home?
Where it was her home for ages, where she knows the system, where she has the support of friends. I might just as likely be wrong about this fact, but I do think that it'd be easier for my mother to restart our lives in UK rather than in US. All we have over there is family.
Sure, family is supposed to be what pulls you through everything.
But we don't know the system all that well, we haven't lived there, and UK is still home.
Don't blame me for disliking our landlady.
She's nice and all I suppose.
But it's easy to forget that nice bit about her when you're very aware of how harsh and cold she sounds. You need to figure out whether to laugh or to cry.
I don't think it was very nice either.
At first, she was selling the house and wanted us to get the hell out of here.
Now, she's talked about it and is instead, renting the place out to a friend and so,
wants us to gather our fuckshit and get the fucking hell out of here.
Of course, she does have every right to it.
It IS her house at the end of the day.
Just a bit painful.
It's to her convenience, there's no doubt about it.
I know life isn't always the way you planned and it's not always fine and dandy.
But can you imagine?
Even though fully aware of us moving out of the country soon enough, she wanted to sell the place at the end of our lease.
Claims that there isn't a point in having a flat here being rented out while they're living overseas, not now anyway.
Then, still fully aware of the predicament we're in, she tells us they're not selling the place.
(It was in the first line of the email. It's supposed to make the recipient of that email smile and get her hopes up)
And follows that line with how she'll be renting the flat out to someone else instead.
A friend, granted, but someone else no less.
I think, it'd be so much easier to deal with if she'd just said straight out,
"Get the fuck out of my house cos I don't really like you guys."
That's be insanely easier to understand.
Rather than us dancing around like this like a bunch of fucking baboons.
So here we are.
Of course there's enough time to move.
I think we should just get out of here as quickly as possible.
No mom, I don't think you should give her those thirty minutes she's asking for in September.
I'm sorry mom, if I'm being an absolute bitch.
But I'm getting it shitty too.
I've said my piece, it's my two cents, okay maybe two dollars worth.
I forgot to mention,
the landlords are a pastoring couple.
I'd say Fuck You and your god,
but that wouldn't be fair.
Because He's my God too, and maybe this is happening for a reason but I think a part of me is holding on,
waiting for that path to clear so I can walk out.
They do say,
even demons believe.
Monday, August 18, 2008
FUCK FUCK FUCKING BLOODY HELL.
clearly, this isn't doing me any good. typing never does what screaming can.
but i am suddenly so annoyed and pissed off at myself, so frustrated.
So eurgh everything.
it's not anything that happened either.
Had a wonderful warm dinner with my family and all.
i hate feeling like this.
feeling like i don't know what the fuck i'm feeling and feeling annoyed by that.
Everyone has a life.
And it's not like I don't, but then why do I feel so far away?
Why don't I feel like everyone's a phone call away, like they used to be?
I should shut up, get over myself, stop starting my sentences with "I" and get on it with it.
It's not that I can't, it's the annoyance at myself for noticing it.
For feeling like.
I've been so caught up that I've lost everything and everyone around me.
But I'm not all that caught up you see, I'm not.
I'm not tied to Poly projects or JC curriculum. I work, but not like a lot. And I hate that I can't figure out why I feel eons away.
Maybe it's because I'm not in the same boat.
And I can't identify with projects and schoolmates and politics and teachers.
Maybe it's that.
I can't stand that I can't see anyone in the mirror. It's like, I'm looking right through my fucking reflection.
I want to scream at myself, hurl bricks at that goddamn mirror and say,
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
How can I be so impossibly satisfied with what I do and the life I live, and then realize -a little too late- that it doesn't count for anything.
But I'm happy, right? This is what I want to do, right?
And no, I don't want to be in government schools or whatever it is. Because don't i have everything I asked for? I'm like a year ahead of everyone my age.
Then why doesn't it feel like it's enough?
I don't know what to say when people tell me about the pile up of homework and projects and all these major everyday things that prove that they're doing something.
Because I can be doing everything, and it still fucking feels like I'm not doing a single fucking thing.
I want to figure it all out.
Really, I do.
More than anything though, I kind of wish I didn't have to do it alone.
"I want to live."
So from a little after nine,
I've watched 387mins straight of Greys Anatomy.
After being out of the house for about 16 hours a day, five times a week,
yeah, this is what I call living.
When living-living doesn't seem quite enough to float your bloody boat.
Of course I'm happy with my life,
I just wanted to do absolutely nothing for a bit.
Two packets of coffee, a glass of orange juice, a glass of New Zealand red wine, a glass of Choya (two plums!) and a can of beer into the day and I thought,
hmmm, this ain't so bad innit?
I hate television and I never watch it.
Okay, I like a couple of shows and all. Greys is one of them.
So imagine me sitting through the entire season of it.
All nine episodes.
Now that's enough to last me the next year and a half. hah.
It wouldn't be fun if you did it everyday though,
that's why today's made me smile at my grubbiness.
Though to complete it, I should've probably skipped out on bothering to brush my teeth in the morning.
So yes, I talked at the telly and to the telly.
I laughed and hooted and groaned in absolute exasperation.
At the end of my alone time,
"Hmm gee. Looks like I had a party and forgot to invite anyone besides myself."
Sunday, August 17, 2008
First World Hotel brought back memories of Vegas and the weather up in Genting made me miss LA like crazy.
Two mornings in a row, I managed to catch the sunrise.
I had the window bed. And trust me, from our 22nd-story room, it was too beautiful for words.
Using the word beautiful annoys me, even.
Cos it wasn't like that.
It was wonderfully gorgeous.
Not just in the morning, with the sun rising from behind those mountains,
but at night too-
with street lamps dotting long winding roads and the shadow of a run down building in the middle of an empty piece of land.
Sure the theme parks (both indoor and outdoor) were fun, and the cotton candy and ferris wheels topped my Prettiest Moment in Life list.
But more than anything, it was how, from start to finish it mostly felt like a dream.
We walked through mist, laughed at goosebumps and spasmed in the chilly air.
It made me want to just stop, right there, in the middle of the park and pack the entire moment into a tiny little globe that i could climb into and relive, over and over and over again.
The company was amazing too.
Gosh, the company was too die for, really.
We'd hang out, watch rubbish on telly or Heather or read or wander around.
One of the bits I loved most was just staring out the window at night.
It didn't feel surreal, but it looked like something out of a movie.
And it always made me smile.
I'd love to just go back there and relive it.
No, not go back there again.
More like, go back in time and relive everything from start to finish.
Maybe this time, I'll get to hold on to them moments a wee bit longer.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
but then, only if I loved that person enough to stay alive.
haven't I always been this sentimental shmuck all along?
It's tiring hating myself for it.
And I'm sorry for going all mushy on you guys.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Today was a very nice day((:
I got all the way to bloody Bukit Panjang, and very much on time.
As if that wasn't enough to make me smile, my students pummeled me with their streams of,
"OMG YOU'RE BACK!"
"TEACHER, WHERE DID YOU GO?"
"OMG, WE REALLY MISSED YOU!"
"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"
Although quite their usual, rowdy selves, they seemed to greatly appreciate having me back.
I took the usual hour long journey into town, and got my College courses extended.
These, no doubt, will be finished within the alloted time.
Settled into a comfy sofa-seat with my Caramel Frappe
and my latest Jodi Picoult addition: The Pact.
Had lunch with Victor, and hung out for a bit before we dwaddled home.
This book is much better than the last one i read, (Jodi Picoult's Mercy) because it's not so wordy and history-laden.
It's also a love story.
That explains it, no?
So I lost myself in tears and heartache while Victor fell asleep and his cell phone rang incessantly.
Okay, well not incessantly per say, but close enough.
He cooked Janice and i a fantastic dinner tonight.
It often amazes me how well some people can cook, especially when they don't seem like the sort who can.
Victor's kind of near the top of that list. Well actually, I can't find anyone who tops that list.
But I mean, he really doesn't look like the cooking sort.
So dinner was lovely, and I made myself useful by washing up. (for once! yay!)
Tomorrow will be good too, it will((:
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The family's back from Batam.
It was my first time there, and I highly doubt I'm gonna go back there again.
It's fine, I mean, just not. well.
I don't know how to put it really. haha
The executive suite we got was fantastic.
Clearly, I wasn't in a take-photos-for-blog-posts mood, and so you won't have a blow by blow account.
Anyhoos, lovely suite, bathtubs in both bathrooms, huge bed which ALL THREE OF US could fit on comfortably and, the cherry atop a pretty cake,
CABLE! - much to Janice's delight.
Always figured that Batam would be for like, major shopping.
But we didn't do any of it at all.
The saddest thing is,
we went to malls!
I mean, you know me, right?
As long as I'm anywhere near shops, my bank account drains itself!
Not this time honey!
Wandered around and there really wasn't much.
I DID want to buy myself this awesomely cute ukelele.
IT WAS PINK, and very very adorable.
But i figured, I probably wouldn't use it for anything more than a dust collector.
Though it was a tempting idea to use it as a reason to pick up the instrument.
Other than that, there was this reeeeeeeaaaaaally cute guitar which I wanted to buy Victor.
One of those oddly shaped ones that are crazily priced.
But i didn't bring my wallet out and they only came in bright blue, green and red which made it look more like a toy than anything.
besides strange-flavoured Lays (Enqing you've got one too, after your lychee lays! hahaha)
there was not much else which I bought.
We did all go for a hair treatment + hair wash thing though :D:D
Which also means my hair looks super duper nice right now.
Which also means,
I'm off for dinner at Grapevine! ((:
Friday, August 8, 2008
It hasn't been too bad a day so far.
And my room, in all its pre-holiday cleanliness was a lovely place to be in last night.
When Victor saw my room he went,
"WOW! I CAN SEE THE FLOOR! My, who would've guessed!"
If more holidays mean I keep my room extra clean for long periods of time,
then i really ought to go on more holidays eh?
On the other hand,
one of Victor's most quotable quotes went something along the lines of,
"If you've got time to revamp your room, then you probably don't have anyone to be with. Which means no one's gonna see your room anyways."
Went to Ikea Tampines last night for foodies, and saved ourselves for round 2 of it, when we came home to eat with The Little Creature.
I was sort of mean to her this morning, cos I was a bit crabby and my door was locked and she was getting crabby on me too. But all's well now, though I really ought to scurry off and get ready.
Oh yes, also found out that Enqing's still very much alive, albeit drowning in work.
It was a tad bit stupid of me to worry, I suppose.
CUTE SONG! (the post below this)
For all the rest of you in Sunny Singapore,
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
and Thank God I'm getting out of hereeeeee!
Don't miss me too much darlings!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
we all ought to have more twelve hour naps eh?
Momsie left this morning for Batam with her colleagues while I,
wait for it
wait for it
DID A ROUND OF LAUNDRY!
Another day of excitement!
Gosh, what Charis Vera will do next, I hardly dare imagine!
take me like that,
ruin it all
then build it again by the light in the hall
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I couldn't help thinking of Enqing, who introduced that song to me.
I've been trying to get him for ages, and my calls just keep getting cut.
I'm just guessing that he's like, awfully busy with work and NDP and stuff.
was their competition.
And my, didn't they shine(:
Swear to God, they've come such a long way and have made such an immense improvement!
It's amazing, that's what it is.
I was sure today's winner would be either Ke Chin or Nerissa, to be honest.
You know how you start making your guesses by the last lesson.
But the final winner was Jeremiah.
The guy who showed up for the first class and then proceeded to quit.
I will say, however, that both Ke Chin and Nerissa's first speech was well thought out and planned to perfection. And although I can't say that for Jeremiah, I'll say his improv was fantastic, and much better than someone else's speech which he read off, during the first round.
I'm guessing it's unlikely I'll see them again, this group of Broadricians,
and it's cry-worthy, I swear it is.
You have no idea how many Tuesday mornings I've come from, to teach them, and what a difference it made to my day.
And I've looked forward to my Tuesdays for an entire month (that seems like a lifetime ago), it seems so often, and now I'm just like, Oh it's Tuesday.
It's so fun hanging out with this group, and it's going to be different even if I end up teaching the next Public Speaking Course in their school.
This group has been absolutely amazing, complete and utter fun and more than anything, awesome beyond words.
I've loved teaching them so much that, I don't really want to say goodbye.
I didn't, come to think of it.
Not in a "boo-hoo, this is the last time" kind of way at least.
they did up this gorgeous card which Ke Chin passed to me at the end of the competition.
It was lovely, and I could've cried, really.
I ought to say Thank You too, to be honest.
Thank You for listening to me yabber, jabber and blabber.
Thank you for your respect -which believe me, meant a lot- considering our age gap (or the lack thereof).
Thank you for always making my Tuesdays, for being this huge happy pill after my draining mornings. For sharing with me, and letting me share with you.
More than anything, thanks for just being the most awesome bunch ever(:
All my love, and a little more
Real Learning Doesn't Occur in Classrooms
Quote Morrie Schwartz, from one of the most highly acclaimed books by Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie, "Everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. The truth is once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." Acceptance, moving on, is what Morrie Schwartz was talking about.
Real Learning, might include learning how to let go; to forgive and forget, to move on.
I am here today, to talk about how and why Real Learning Doesn't Occur in Classrooms. You might ask what my quote had to do with my topic. Well, one harsh and final reality is Death.
A close friend of mine passed away late last year. Everything around me crumbled. Nothing made sense any more. I didn't know what to do. He was my lifeline, my support, always a phone call away. Now that he's gone, I didn't know who else I could turn to.
Now this, is something we can never learn in classrooms, something that can never be printed out in black and white. There is no guide book or self-help book that has been published to help us in this area. An area where only by experience would one feel the depth of the greyness in between the black and white
How do we define real learning? I believe Real Learning occurs throughout life. With each passing day, we learn valuable lessons that would last us our entire lifetime.
Another personal example would be, the Overseas Community Involvement Programme I took part in during the June Holidays. It was a school trip to Thailand where we had to build a dormitory for the village children. While we were teaching them Basic English, they managed to teach me the real meaning behind "The simplest life led, is the happiest life led." No doubt theirs lives are harsh and difficult and some of them are living in dreadful states, however they could still live each day with a happy smiles, oblivious to their surroundings. It makes me wonder if we were there to help them or were we there for them to teach us how to live life.
- Nerissa Tan, Broadrick Secondary
One of the best speeches there was today, content-wise.
The speaker brought it up to the next level(:
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
And haven't I always said the exact same thing?
It is an actual letter from an Austin Texas woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Austin , TX
It was absolutely gorgeous.
My morning was put to wonderful use.
Besides the sleeping in and rolling around in bed, that is.
Gosh, even had a proper breakfast for once.
aaand, I cooked!
AND I SURVIVED MY COOKING THANK YOU.
I met up with Ashley for lunch at Crosskeys.
He arrived back from Shanghai ten days early, so i suppose he has like a teeny bit of time that allows him to breathe(:
I ought to be honoured that he chose to breathe with me right beside him!
Anyways, I've known him for about thirteen years. Well, twelve-thirteen.
Which is the entire time I've been in Singapore actually.
We haven't met up like in the last couple of years, so meeting up today was quite something really.
Crosskeys provided a nice lunch, as usual (how could I ever expect any less) and then we went for walkies.
We wandered into Build-A-Bear where I held on tight to a very nice and soft skin and refused to let go. We laughed at how they sold knickers/ boxers for the bear (though I secretly thought it was cute), and while he wowed at the merchandise, I thought about what I'd dress my imaginary bear in.
It's a She by the way. Obviously.
Wandered around some more. La Dee Da.
There's a major sale on Moda Vera wool, in Spotlight, by the way.
We ended up at Electic Attic for tea, which was the plan anyway.
gasp! No scones and Earl Grey for us though;
I had brownies! And very nice brownies they were indeed.
Each of us buying scones home for our family, we headed off and promised to see each other within the next four years.
Watched Batman with the family today.
Family + Victor, who's family anyways so I don't need to say
Yes, I, the loser, finally watched it.
Yes it was utterly fantastic and i loved it a lot more than the last Batman.
In fact, I hated the last one so much that I thought I'd never watch Batman ever again.
I mean, it wasn't all that bad, I just got annoyed at the Batman guy.
Who was also in this one but who got killed.
I hate these bloody fucking annoying damsels in distress.
Go chew on your thong and save yourself, you lazy cunt.
Anyway the show was fantastic and I loved every bit of it.
Lots to do now,
so nighty night(((:
Monday, August 4, 2008
I don't know what's worrying me, but to say nothing is would be a big fat whorish lie.
2) I hate her; your friend.
Hate her til it stings. And it's weird that you're close.
I don't normally hate people, I just have good feelings and bad feelings.
But i don't like her, and I don't like who you are when you're around her.
She's snobby. You say so, and so do half a million other people.
I love you, but I don't know you. That kind of hurts.
3) I personally really don't think you should be with him anymore.
Go on babe, drop him like a hot potato.
But then, that's just my personal opinion really.
4) I miss you.
When shit hits the fan, like it seems to do a lot, you run for cover and scream blue bloody murder.
But no one ever, ever tells you what to do if you're paralyzed.
So what happens now?
Sunday, August 3, 2008
wear your heart on your sleeve"
that was a couple of lines from a song I just heard.
WHAT IN THE FUCKING WORLD!
DON'T TELL PEOPLE TO DO THAT!
Everyone should get a pet and look after that pet.
After that, they can go on to get babies! YAY
just work in a childcare center.
Women don't need men as much as the other way around.
We will rule the world!
Gosh, I am losing it aren't I?
But I mean it though, bits of this post anyway.
Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, that's the worse thing you can do.
ever ever ever!
Victor says, "ehhh what's this. I can actually look good!"
So today was a very nice day, a very nice day indeed!
Worship was fab, as was the sermon.
You ought to see my notebook y'all.
funniest bit of today was when Victor and I started pulling our whole psycho-couple thing near the private houses.
At an abandoned swimming pool, I must add.
So even though it won't be even A QUARTER as funny for you as it was for me, I shall still proceed to type out most of the melodramatic scene!
And if you know me, well...
you know how awfully loud I can get. So imagine me screaming and wailing pretty loud(:
C: WHY! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS! YOU'RE SO ABUSIVE WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY DO YOU HURT ME!
-Victor tries to reach for me to shut me up of course
C: NO! GO AWAY! DON'T TOUCH ME WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK! YOU'RE SO ABUSIVE!
V: I TOLD YOU TO STOP TAKING DRUGS! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME! LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO YOU!
C: IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU COME HOME DRUNK EVERY NIGHT! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO (i really do sound like I'm sobbing like crazy here)
I can't do this anymore, I just can't! (I proceed to wail)
V: STOP SMOKING WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT! CAN'T YOU BE A RESPONSIBLE MOTHER?
C: NO! WHY SHOULD I? YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME OR THE BABY!
V: HOW DO I EVEN KNOW IT'S MINE!
C: HOW DARE YOU! I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SLEEPS WITH HALF A MILLION PEOPLE AND BRINGS HOME DISEASES!
V: HOW DO I KNOW YOU DIDN'T PASS ME THOSE DISEASES HUH?!
C: BECAUSE IT'S YOUR BABY AND I DON'T SLEEP AROUND!
(I can't come up with anything better so I just keep wailing)
Oh my word it was so hilarious, I swear!
This jogger even deliberately jogged past us again, while I sobbed into my hands and Victor looked all smug and evil-like.
Friday, August 1, 2008
ALL THIS TIME, IT HASN'T BEEN REAL?
no no no, this can't be happening to me!
It said that I...
that I... was a social mogul!
It's can't not be real!
I had a faaaaaaaaaantastic day today.
This girl put her rollerblades back on and bladed and fell (once!) and laughed, and sped and felt the wind through her hair.
Oh, I missed out on how I got a minor tan:D:D
Theeeeeen this evening we watched Sabrina, one of the old movies.
When I say old, I mean black and white old(:
So today was a mixture of frozen yogurt and sea breeze and tears (during the movie) and talks about old counselors and what not.
Today also had super funny MSN conversations which clearly, I'm too lazy to put up.
You can laugh though.
I did. Like, til I had stitches.
And nothing made sense!
Okay okay, I know the whole don't-let-online-quizzes-define-you thing.
But it's so strange!
I've a habit of choosing pretty answers/gut-feel answers andandand,
my result was funny.
just for the heck of it, I kept clicking on GIVE ME MORE and continuing with more specific details about "my personality".
This was one result:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high
I don't think love will last forever.
Oh gosh, i didn't just say that did i? I think it does, it might. I mean, it's not impossible but yeah.
I'd love my cat forever, or even a dog if i got one.
My love does not have to be perfect either.
As long as it's not a guy.
They're fun creatures to hang out with, they really are.
They're not sensitive and they look out for you.
And there are some (like my two favourite boys) who aren't even in the creature-category!
They're normal full blown males.
this quiz needs to stop assuming I want to be with a man.
Cos it's pretty darn hard to find a man these days among the testosterone hosts that are all over the planet.