Sunday, November 30, 2014

I don't know if I'm strong enough now

So I'm taking these pills for to fill up my soul
And I'm drinking them down, With cheap alcohol
And I'd be inclined to be yours for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
And I,
I'm the catalyst. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

"She's right you know"
"Wintry nights get to you. All the time."
"Or you're being Sappy little bitch."

"And you're just pretending not to be."

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Freeze your bones

So empty that it hurts


And we were in flames, I needed, I needed you
To run through my veins, like disease, disease
And now we are strange, strangers

Wait for me to degrade before
You go
Killing prey for
Waste of
Speaks when
Slumber's keeping
Under the bed
Out of revenge
I'm derailing
My youth has stained our sheets
With some piece of me
With some piece of me

Oh, winter comes
Oh, winter crushed all of the things that I once loved

It's just medicine

How much sad can one person hold?
And what do you with all that sad?
Because whether you're warm and at home, surrounded by people you know actually love you,
Or far away, feeling cold in all senses of the word, and alone and emptied out-
It's still the same, isn't it?

And how can you love someone you don't know?

How can you know me,
When there are too many days where I realize,
I don't think i know myself?

Getting lost in big cities where no one knows your name

"It would've been illegal not to come over and talk to you."

Because I'm just a girl

Pick me
Choose me



All this talk about laying claim..
When the strings I have, are only the ones I choose to keep.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Silly little girl, stupid little girl

Waking up far, far away and realizing that I can never outrun the sting of your words.

Monday, November 24, 2014


Is there a chance
A fragment of light 
At the end of the tunnel
A reason to fight
Is there a chance
That you'll change your mind?

Or are we ashes and wine

Dear world

Stop asking me questions,
Or tell me I can "talk about it" when
There's nothing to talk about

There isn't.

I would go in endless circles and end up back in square one
There is nothing within my control, not anymore
And if I stopped for a half second long enough to place what I feel,
I am only reminded of how I cannot and shouldn't.

Dear world,
It isn't always black and white,
You know that full well.
But even grey has its shades
And sometimes things fall on such in-betweens of the colour spectrum that we cannot see but know is there

Dear world,
You don't have to stop for me,
Or pretend that you will
Because you won't.
Things keep spinning and I will step on and off every so often

There are nights I feel like I'm the only one left spinning,
And on a completely different axis, at that.
Sometimes I wake up to better days than others
And sometimes I wonder why the night before didn't just take me with it.

But for one who has always encouraged an endless stream of talking until things make sense-
This is not something I feel i can ever make sense of, at least not right now.

So world,
Just don't right now okay?
Just don't.


Saturday, November 22, 2014

You learn all the ways you can fall in love again

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Honesty is a bottle of gin

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
When you know I really tried
To be a better one to satisfy you for you're everything to me
And I'll do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

It's a quarter after one

I'm a little drunk
And I need you now.


Oh all the things that are wrong to feel
And all the things
That are not real

The end of my rapidly fraying rope

So jump,
Why don't you?
To reach all the places you think are too far to feel.

I dare you.

You can't lose,
It's true-
When you take on all the things
The voices say you cannot do.

Ears that ring with numbness

Trust me.
You can't hurt me anymore than this
And how it's broken me in more ways than I know how to count

Help me place this pain

It sits in all the places I didn't know existed
All these drinks and smokes do nothing to erase this
that I am not the one you choose. This Feeling
That I will always lose
This game I don't know how to play
These words, I'm not supposed to say, so..
Darling, teach me how to cope
Knowing I
Am not allowed to hope
Tell me what
To expect, that now
We need to choose the hats
That make us different persons
I'm standing, on grounds that shake
I question, where I am and then pick
only choices that make me
Fuzz out
All the things I'm reading
Cos baby,
You do such a job
Of keeping
Me numb and breaking
Along fault lines
I thought stopped existing

Monday, November 17, 2014

Because you taught me how to be still, and come

"So Can You" was a short that I came on board for just a little while ago.
Nicely written and beautifully shot, I cannot express how thrilled I was to be part of this production. Getting to work with the same horses I'd gotten so close to in the last few years was also a huge perk for me- It was new and exciting, to see two different bits of my life kinda come together the way it did.

It's funny how stuff works but being able to share what I have personally experienced and also watched unfold in children who have gone through the program is something that meant a whole lot to me.

I hope you enjoy it just as much as we did making this!

To the amazing people who were behind this- thank you and working with you guys was nothing short of fun and wonderful.

Special Thanks of course, must go to
Damiro, who is SUCH a handsome boy and steals the show. Thank you for being so patient and lovely
And Lili who always came out to cuddle right on cue and who is the prettiest girl in the film.

And to the one who first taught me to come as I am, in all my self-doubt and vulnerability, who helped me learn again what it meant to just, be..
Thank you,
for bringing me to where I am today.

So Can You - A Short Film from Warrior9 on Vimeo.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Here in these deep city lights

In a city that used to wow me because it made me feel so far away from everyday life,
I find myself looking up at starless skies looking for all the paths i used to know would lead me back to where I'd feel grounded. 


I can do this-
Let me?


Girl could get lost

Wednesday, November 12, 2014


Embarking on journeys,
When i already know just where I want and need to be.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

And I know that in the morning, I'll have to let you go

But where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all
but you can't say I'm not trying.