Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I guess we've all felt this thing where you kinda hope something is real,
but you don't know how you'd deal with if it was.

and.
it's definitely not something I'd put on my blog so I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing about it now.

cheezels!

On a more normal note.
Day two of being back at work, waddling around like I'm pregnant (massive swollen feet) and hippopotamus-looking legs that I feel like barfing at. Doctor's been seen so, hopefully it'll just get better and much more normal-looking within the week.
My new kids are great so far, very responsive and the programme is fantastic.
Also been enjoying post-lesson cheese-cake eating at Bakerzin with Ross. Definite highlight.

Keeps feeling like I'm at the end of my week already, when it's barely even started.
hmm

and sweet jeebus! I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM FOOD.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Reminds me of Bird and all the things that can happen in a single day.






Funny. Funny Funny Funny.



So, despite getting up at four to dope myself with drugs that make me stop having reactions, I managed to get up in time for church.
In the time after putting on my jeans and mid-way through sermon, I realize that it's harder and definitely more painful to walk.

Right now, my knees are two and a half times its normal size, my calf has a fat and swollen version of China's map on it and I cannot even clench my fist to shake it angrily because, guess what,
IT'S SWOLLEN TOO!

Sweet Jeebus.

My temperature came back and I did attempt to see the doctor but, fuck it.
I've got work tomorrow! Wait, I miss saying "I've got school." So I shall!
I've got school tomorrow! Yay!

Well I got home and doped myself up some more. It's definitely made it a lot less itchy. Or maybe I've inadvertently slowed down my reactions so much that by the time I lean down to scratch it, it's un-itchified itself. hmm.

Durian-time! because I'm going to go on a Durian sabbatical for one week):
It's only good for me)))): Even though it makes me want to cry.

So, while i get over the pain and heat that radiates through my legs everytime i stand up,
you guys have a lovely, lovely week!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

lie to me again

an excerpt

our hearts, bleeding these lies we call love.
you don't, really.

Friday, June 26, 2009

WILL SELL BUTTONS FOR HELP!

So, I'm so frustrated with Chemistry that I, believe it or not, started on Maths.
Yes, Charis Vera Ng actively clicked on and therefore activated her College Algebra module.
I thought I might as well, since my Math book came in the mail and before arriving in my mailbox, wrote me a very charming letter.

Hello Charis,
(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note - it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)
Holy canasta! It's me... it's me! I can't believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I've got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can't believe I'm leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already - the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge - so many memories. I don't have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it's time to see the world!
I can't wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen)and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol' brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?
I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I've had, I'm ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn't take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I've found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.
But hey, enough about me, I've been asked to brief you on a few things:
We sent your order to the following address:
blah blah blah

Eagerly awaiting our meeting,
College Algebra

Lovely.

So I've opened up my first math assignment. Which should be easy enough. Very very easy in fact. After all, I love algebra (no seriously, I do. It's the only thing in math that I get)
Besides, pretty much secondary school stuff.
EXCEPT TO MY HORROR, I'VE JUST REALIZED THAT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!
I AM GOING TO DIE!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AT ALL!
NOTHING FROM CHEMISTRY TO MATH TO OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
I HAVE NOT DONE MATHEMATICS IN TWO FUCKING YEARS! TWO FUCKING YEARS! AND I HAVEN'T DONE CHEMISTRY IN THREE!
THIS IS INSANE!

):

Will sell Buttons for help):
okay, maybe not. She smells too good.


eurgh

oh.my.word.
do.some.fucking.work

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I ALWAYS GET THE WEIRD ONES

always.
It's like i'm a freaking magnet or something. It's like I have a sign that says, "IF YOU'RE WEIRD AND STRANGE, COME TALK TO ME."
and if i do, I'll bet Vicky put it on me so she can get free laughs):

So anyway, most of the time, I'm very nice and civil with irritating people.
Like, I just can't find it in myself to be mean. Unfortunately for this poor bloke, I've had enough with irritating, horrible-pigeon-english people.
I think it also had something to do with his msn's PM being:
WHO WAN CUM OUT W ME, I FUCKING BORING

Have a good ol' laugh at our lovely conversation! It is Thursday after all!


Elias

Hi hi

charis vera

hello

charis vera

who're you

Elias

Elias lo hmm from tagged

charis vera

i dont remember you

charis vera

haha

Elias

Lol sad la . Hmm u stay where

*2 mins later

Elias

Why no repli

charis vera

because you are fucking boring

Elias

Den come out lo lolx

Elias

Sian sia wan find ppl out also so boring

charis vera

that's nice dear

Elias

Hmm u wanna come out ma

charis vera

no i have papers to grade, sex to have and girls to kiss

Elias

Oh ok bye

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

hiya

charis vera

hello

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

hws liffe

charis vera

pretty much unchanged since two minutes ago

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

lolx

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

haha

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

great sense of humour

charis vera

my students tell me that too after I fail them.

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

u r a teacher or ?

charis vera

no i am a random homeless begger who has imaginary students that take exams (for which i fail them)

yeS!IReALli+WONT+REGRET+loVInG_U

siao

charis vera

clearly, and you shouldn't talk to crazy people

charis vera

yay you!

charis vera

i must go shout at my imaginary students now,

charis vera

bye bye love!


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

If you like Pina Coladas

BECAUSE I MOST DEFINITELY DO!
then you ought to go on a lovely lovely beach holiday.

I ended up loving the less-than majestically glamorous resort we stayed at because it was soooooo empty and soooo quiet and we freaking more or less had the whole beach to ourselves!
SHIOK MUCH

I didn't over-tan, much to my dismay. But I DID go kayaking and Jetskiing and I did also get pinched by a crab and got incredibly cut up by coral.
Very painful): I was bleeding all over the place.
Plus, now I can't walk properly.
And then, like, an hour plus into arriving back, I had to rush off to get a tetanus jab because I haven't had one since I was twelve and like, I kind of had this thing where I thought that I might die.
But i got the shot, i didn't die, it's just that my left arm is freaking painful.
achey much!

To top it off, today I started running a fever. And I had to go down to the east for a callback audition which I'm pretty sure I didn't get.
For one, plastered up legs with a dress? Not a pretty sight.
Plus, they had given be the role of a mother or two. I think for some reason I looked particularly young today. Felt it too.
And the cat's bag fell off my wardrobe and hit me on the head today, right before I went out.

Lovely.

I would reaaaaaaaaally like a Pina Colada right about now.(:

Saturday, June 20, 2009

the madness-es of it all

Soooo.
I'm off to Langkawi tomorrow. Yay me!
I haven't packed yet though, but my word, my bed looks so delish right now that I want to hop in and curl up. I'm quite tired, for some reason:/

I might have a hand at the whole last minute rushing around like crazy-thing.
Just for the thrill of it, you know?
But it'll pretty much piss me off LIKE FUCK.

And I think it's rather late to walk Homer now.
And attempt to do another Chemistry assignment.
WHY AM I SO GODAWFULLY SLOW!
When I'm back, I'm kickstarting my English instead. Eurgh. Lazy Bitch.
I hate lazy bitches(me only). Sleeping through Buttons' meows and getting up near noon!
MADNESS I SAY!

Father's Day was lovely. Well, it tomorrow but i celebrated it earlier.
We got daddy this D24 cake with a face on it and the words: Best daddy in the world on the rim.
Lovely(:
I also had a huge ass luncheon today and I've just remembered that Daddy got us to take a couple of daddy's day cake-pieces home. Ought to eat that before leaving, i suppose.

OMG BUTTONS IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE RIGHT NOW!
I CAN'T STAND IT! I HATE LEAVING HER ALONE AT HOME))))))):

Will blog later. While, like, procrastinating or taking a break from farting out durian smells.

ta

Friday, June 19, 2009

Half past six-ilicious on June 17th(:

Say hello to new additions!


designed by mommy(:

school, pah.

I hate how easy it is to mess up.
my chemistry sucks soooo bad! And I can't stand the fucking layout! Instead of having a list of questions, they've decided to put it in a fucking pdf file so I've to write down the answers some place else. AND, I can't refer back to the questions to see where I went wrong.

I just find it do annoying impossible that I can get an A for one assignment and a C on the next one.
EURGH.
Science is NOT a good subject to study by yourself.
I'm so pissed!

)):

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Therapist Says That's Why I Don't Get Any

40-something man: Hey! I know you! You're Victor's daughter, right?
Teenage girl: Yeah.
40-something man: Wow, look how tall you've gotten. You probably don't remember me, but I'm a friend of your dad's from way back.
Teenage girl: Oh, awesome. (smiles)
40-something man: So...how are you? Still in school?
Teenage girl: No, no, graduated and taking a year off and then studying to be a lawyer.
40-something man, shaking head: Well, be prepared for a life of celibacy.




yes, I'm pretty sure that's how Victor's daughter will turn out:D

Make way for the weird cat-lady kids.

AWWWWW
OMG I AM SOOO IN LOVE WITH BUTTONS!
She's just like, sitting on my bed, and like dozing off.

AND IT IS SOOOO FREAKING CUTE!

ack.

If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?

You can keep your eyes wide open for so long that it starts to sting,
and still, realization won't hit you. Not if you don't want it to.

Maybe, if I think about it, I'd just rather not.
Weighing it out, i think it's called. And we always forget to do that.
But I should, because I'm not supposed to have anything to lose.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A random picture post with long overdue pictures

In no order whatsoever:




This is Buttons. She curled up beside me and freaking draped her arm over mine.
CUTE AS HELL!


Victor took this with one of Alastair's cameras. I likeeee.

Some photoshoot I did a million years ago for DNA magazine
My latest addition (until tomorrow at half past six-ilicious!)


I camwhored at one point in time (contrary to popular belief, I don't usually do that. I swear to God)
I camwhored because I was changing my haaaaaair!
byebye pink streak that didn't stay very long):

Mini-me!

Janice has a mohawk man.
And my hair now looks the same as when this picture was taken.

Dinner with Victor! (that's how bored he looks when he hangs out with me)
Abigayle, my baby sister, on a completely different day.
By the way, she is about to become an older sister!
Yeahppp, that's right folks. I am Da Jie x3!

MOMMY LOOKS DAMN CUTE! Except my hair looks better than hers.
Okay, not really. Her blue is still visible, after what, four months?
Nong Nong time ago.
But the hair's pretty much the same.

So a litter of kitties have become Homer's next door neighbour for a while now.
This is one of them, at the top of the door, trying to get away (and getting stuck in the grill)
Sunset at my place-

So a while back, I had a ten day free spa trial (worth $700 or smth!) and it was faaaaab.
It was called Willowstream, a Fairmont spa. Located inside Fairmont Hotel.
They had lovely steambaths, saunas, warm jacuzzis, and a cold plunge.
They even had a rest-area. Because you know, getting your nails done, facials, hopping in and out of steambaths, they all get pretty tiring.
So you're allowed to nap here for as long as you freaking want!


yeaaaaaaaaaahhh. Loved it while it lasted. It was second home for nearly two weeks):

Below: kitty cat I wanted to adopt but smelt of pee and kept scratching me!

TLC's idea of art.

My baby likes to sleep!
sometimes in the nooks of my table as I work
Sometimes behind the telly in my room

sometimes on top of the cooler box, in the storeroom, 5cm from the ceiling. When she wakes up, she starts crying cos she doesn't know how to come down.

good times, good times

Translation: This will happen to your penis if you smoke too much.
We saw it in Taiwan.


Orkeh Dorkeh.
I am doing serious procrastination right now. I did my first Chhem assignment in fifteen minutes, and I've taken like, a week or something for my second one.
Groan.

Well, hope this fulfilled your pic-cravings. Because I realized, I hardly ever upload pics((:

Really, really, would like to


When you figure you can still a moment for just a second longer than it's supposed to last.
When you hold on too long and wish you wouldn't.
When you smile at things that other people don't know about and have strangers clearing their throat at you.
When you figure you can't still a moment for just a second longer than it's supposed to last,
but you would really really like to.

like how marshmellows attack me when I've got my period



It's illegal to preach to Muslims in Singapore. And although I agree with that, and honestly think some Christians (especially those who go round screaming condemnation) ought to shut up, I DO NOT think it warrants non-christians calling them stupid.
Now that, is just unfair.

The cab driver last night decided to chime in with his two hundred dollars worth after he dropped Vicky off. Except, clearly, he wasn't listening properly to our conversation. It was painfully clear that we were Christians. It was also explicitly clear that we were not straight and we were very against Homophobes and the likes of them. (like those damn mean ones who go round calling guys Faggots. seriously, fuck off)

So this bloke starts ranting on about SPGs "serving" (he actually meant like doing housework) white men starkers, gays and transexuals, disgrace to Singaporean women, why don't i know of these weird documentaries on the internet that have been banned! (what's the opposite of name-dropping?Can you do that with unknown shows?), lots of nakedness, stupid christians who got jailed for six-months trying to convert Muslims, I hope I'm not offending you miss, yada yada.

Actually I was quite annoyed after a while, because he started being very mean. Clearly, he thought he was being on my side, he wanted to speak emphatically and what not, but saying,
"GO TO HELL LAH YOU, YOU NO ONE ELSE TO SERVE NAKED MEH?" about women in YOUR OWN COUNTRY was not in the least bit impressive.

He started off our conversation by pointing out some Christians need to mind their own business, stop shoving Jesus around (cos that's what V and i were talking about, not being Holier-than-thou) and then he proceeds to do the same thing!
SO WHAT IF THE GIRLS HERE ARE INTO WHITE MEN?
WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?
YOU YOURSELF POINTED OUT THAT LOCAL GUYS DATE WOMEN FROM CHINA BECAUSE OF HOW BUSY LOCAL WOMEN ARE "ENTERTAINING" WHITE BLOKES. SO EVERYONE'S GETTING LAID RIGHT? NO NEED TO FRET! AIYOHHHH.

Fuck man, then he started going on about this documentary they filmed in clarke quay, and there was this white dude who got picked up and only in the hotel room, did he realize that woman wasn't actualy a woman. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS.

Singaporeans are funny, funny people I say.
Needless to say, he got a bit flustered when he realized (right at the end of the ride) that I was British and nope, not a funny funny Singaporean.

Monday, June 15, 2009

one, two, three-thousand-three

OMG I realize how much I cannot stand people with horrid English.
I've been driven to blog hopping because no one blogs these days! Neither do those random people who's blogs I read.
So there's this one ah lian who played truth or dare over the weekend. Except she kept calling it
TRUE OR DARE and on top of that, kept going on about how
I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE TRUE OR DARE GAME OSO ARX!

cringe.

So about ten minutes ago, Buttons was being a huge brat and I was getting super cross with her. She was climbing all over my stuff, and I chucked her out of the room. But then she looked at me with these huge, gorgeous sad eyes and I felt like such a monster):
So I left the room door open and now she's all nice and comfy and dozing off on the telly in my room. I love it when she's such a good girl!

Anyhoos, I had a gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS weekend. The food I had was super fantastic! (Including Macdonalds at midnight and Starbucks' hot chocolate, which I didn't finish.)
Pool view, breakfast by the pool (which we actually woke up for), HAPPINESS MUCH!
<3

Sunday, June 14, 2009

so achey!
acheyachey):

Friday, June 12, 2009

For V


yay! you're legal!
Please do that super funny thing with your ic and shaky hands. in fact, lets go buy you some fake retainers and tie your hair in two ponytails to make you look younger:D:D:D

-------------

So tonight will have us eating good food and drinking lots. I should be allowed to smoke by now but hmmmm.
AND, I'm going tanning! yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!

SO EXCITED FOR THIS WEEKEND! Many many things to do and lots of drinks to drink!
arghckadadsresdfa
excited much! sorry!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

My answer for my first Chemistry assignment

deacadaedccaeaeacbed
My baby is eighteen inches long(:

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on

dayum.
I missed an awesome nuffnang contest that asked us to write about whether or not Singaporeans dress badly.
YA THINK?!

Okay, not everyone, but many many people. Unfortunately mostly from the young working crowd. Half of them look like they're sixteen year olds in their mommy's shoes and somehow, it looks too small (the shoes i mean) rather than too big.

But enough. Deadline's up):
dayum!

ON ANOTHER NOTE.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

this came up on Explosm today. I love things that are so true, and put so simply.

By the way Kris, you suck. You are NOT funny in the least and you should totally get off the fucking team.

I went out with Alastair today, which was very nice because we haven't hung out properly in really really long. HOWEVER I did something utterly stupid, like wear my gorgeous brand new Aldo heels out and deciding AGAINST bringing extra shoes. I got blisters):
As usual, the day brought all the little things that never fail to surprise me. Like how people can be so incredibly inconsiderate. Like how sometimes you feel evil but feel like smacking the lady who's hogging the seat BECAUSE MY FEET FELT LIKE THEY WERE BLEEDING AND SHE STARED AT ME NONCHALANTLY.

I've also decided that I'm bringing baby buttons in for her review and vac earlier, so that I can spend more time with her. I'll do Thursday instead of like, Sunday.
Because I'll be mysteriously disappearing on Monday, I don't want her to be all distressed and upset and turn herself into a black cotton-puff.

------------------------

On a much less frivolous note (not that Buttons' Vaccination is frivolous),
I found myself wondering how come sometimes you can work so incredibly hard for something and have it fall flat. It feels like such an impossible thing to deal with, and honestly, I'm just so so sorry. I want to be here for you even though I know I do not have anything of comfort to say and tea doesn't solve everything.
I wish it wasn't so painful, I really do. But I know it is, and it must feel so incredibly shitty. And all I can come up with is an I'm sorry because I can't find anything else to say. I said don't let it get you down, but it will for sure.
I guess, what you shouldn't do, is blame yourself. Because at the end of the day, you know you tried, you know you managed to get into all the universities. I think you've done all that you can possibly do and at the very least, you should know it's not because you weren't good enough.
I'm not very good with all the comfort words and support but, I love you. And I'm right here if you need to talk.