Thursday, April 17, 2008


I had.
A really really horrible nightmare last night.

For some reason though, (Thank God)
it didn't affect me at all during the day. I couldn't remember it, or i didn't have time to think about it.

But, considering it involved Enqing, i told him.
And suddenly the images were flying back at me screaming with an evil ringing laughter.
And i was telling him and crying, and crying, and crying.

And i told Victor.
Bits that i left out when i told Enqing but, i realized, made the entire thing worse for me.
I kept crying and for a moment,
I actually just stopped.
Stopped everything, pressing the tissue against my face and finding myself shaking, gasping for air and choking on my tears.

and i'm scared this might bring me to tears again so.
i'm gonna go away for a bit

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