Sunday, April 20, 2008


with our heart wide open and our eyes wide shut.

It doesn't get any more cliched than that darlings.

Set me free,
leave me be.
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Yes indeed, aren't we all "bewildered by how love works"?
(quote; unquote Janice Wong, Straits Times)

You've reached in deep enough, to pull out your heart -still dripping with the stuff inside your body- and given it to the creature who stands before you.
The creature who says your name in this unexplainable, indescribable, way. It's like your name is safe in their mouths and there is something perfect about the way your name slips out, that makes you really think, this is it.

Resounding crash, your heart (which isn't your own anymore), tossed back to you with no more than a "Here you go babe."
Casual wave, like those five years were no more than a five hour date: "Have a nice life."

I'm not speaking completely from experience. Don't start thinking now, it might hurt.

You've given up, I've given up.
Haven't we all?
Because you know better than to be an idealist.
Because you know better than to laugh, and give your heart away at 10pm in the mrt station.
Because you know better than to stare at the person, when the person's not looking back, only to find yourself seeing so much that you really can't pull away.
Because you know how to do all the calculations for this perfectly proven formula. Formulas don't fail you now, do they? So your calculations must be correct, your answer is proven. It is fool-proof.


Because there is no right answer.
Because there is no hard and fast rule, there are no worn out methods.
Because it is always, and will always be, trial and error.
Because there is no way out.
Because that is the only reason that wine bars and sleazy clubs stay open- To make you feel alive after you die.

Pitiful Creatures, sod-covered bare feet.
We're walking the same paths, banging into the same walls, waking up after too many drinks, caught in the same damn dingo-gnaw moments.
We won't learn, because we can't.

We tell ourselves we can though.

"Oh after my last four year relationship, i know what went wrong."
Keep telling yourself that at the end of the next few relationships, it does make you feel like you're growing up.

We live and learn (or so we say, we came up with that line after all),
break and hate.
There is little more to it.

We fall down, cry, pick ourselves up.
Put our fingers back into that same electrical-socket just because our tiny fingers can fit in.
Still touch the kettle after it sings its song.

All we can do,
is look at the next person and say,
"I'm tired, I can't do this anymore. Please don't hurt me,
because i don't have the strength left to cry."

No comments: