It's always really hard to realize, and then to admit that however well-intended your actions might have been, they have always been subconsciously rooted in a bad place.
A place not of strength and/or wisdom but of emergency, need and in some cases, obligation.
It's really hard to admit that maybe, like the programs and the writings and the stories that you birth, you provide all the things you wish could be given to you instead.
It's really hard to admit that you can't always save the world.
Mostly though, it's really hard to admit that for the longest time,
you're the one that's needed saving.