On an evening like tonight, I am grateful- for the moments that I get to turn and see my best friends exhaling smoke in the opposite direction from me, the moments they whip out cameras to take pictures of their million chins to send to each other, the moments that they're just... There.
Yes, yes it has been years. And I'm grateful for the ones I've gotten to have.
I cannot imagine a loss this close.
Cannot begin to fathom the roller coaster of emotions, the memories and thoughts being picked through, just to get to steadier ground.
To those left reeling...
My heart goes out to you. I hope you will find warmth and comfort and security, even in all the places you forget to look. I hope that just when you need it, there will be someone there to hold you and all of this. And if it is space you need, I hope you find fresh air that fills your lungs so full that any one step forward won't seem half as daunting.
there are things I mean to say, but there'd be far too many words working only to cloud the bits that matter. So instead-
I hope you are safe now. I truly do.
And to you, ma chérie
Please know, that there is not a place in this world I would rather be than right here to hold your hand.