Friday, November 19, 2010

My life, the improv scene

There are a lot of things I don't know:
The twelve times-table
Whether or not I'll do a good enough job at fixing up some of the scripts I'll need to work on
If Erika will say Yes to what I'd very much like to be her Christmas present
When our album will be released
When I'll ever go back home
What I'll feel in the month and a half that follows the 25th
How I'll deal with whatever it is I feel
What to expect after July
If the coming month and a half will give me a vague sense of what might happen
If any of it will work out
How I'll feel with all that it may or may not bring
If I'll come back here, and when
Where I'm supposed to end up

But there are things that I do know:
The three times-table, to the tune of Jingle Bells
That I teach voice projection and the use of one's diaphragm, but don't practice it all the time
That I love my job, and the kids, and all the things I've been doing
I am desperate to learn so, so much more about theatre arts
When you write, start with something you know
That my last article published was a devotional piece in a magazine a couple of years back
Strawberries taste best when you're picking them in a farm
Earl Grey Tea and Scottish shortbread were made for each other
That plans change all the time
You can love your kids and still walk away from them
Being in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean needing to be with them, or being what's best for them, or being what makes them happy
People will walk out on you
That it's a good idea to take samples of your feelings and stow them away for future use in characterization
There will be some things that won't make sense after a while
You'll always walk away with something at the end of it

Leading a life swinging from one string of smoke to another, a packed suitcase by the door and "the good China" still wrapped in newspaper, it takes its toll on you eventually.
As many things as I don't know, there's just a bit that I actually do. Holding on to that makes a lot of transitions a tad more bearable.

Other things that I know:
I would like to go back home for a bit one day
There'll always be more ways to direct the same scene
The four basic rules of Improvisation
That I love you, and I'm in love with you
That I don't mind it
That it doesn't necessarily mean I make you happy or that I'm the best thing for you,
but I do
And I know that I don't know how it'll happen, but all the same,
I could do this for quite a while

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