Friday, January 11, 2008


It scares me. Really, it does.
Makes me wonder if i'd ever want to, well, get into any form of relationship, of any sort.

This is a good book, clearly. Because i've been doing a lot more thinking than i otherwise would've.
Enqing says distance kills, but distance keeps you safe, to a certain extent.

Then again, what distance is there between you and that person in the mirror?

This has been a long and traumatizing week.

At the beginning of this week, someone could have died.
At the beginning of this week, new life was brought into this world.
At the end of this week, someone could have lost their life.

Won't it scare you, for me to tell you now, that each sentence refers to a different person?

I went to visit baby akira today, little shit. And i'm dropping by again in between classes tomorrow.
Dez is in the hospital too, though a different one. She had ruptured apendix for a few days and had her operation at five in the morning, this Thursday.

I was shocked, almost into depression this afternoon.
Oh, the fragility of life!
Coincidentally, i found my old speech on that topic recently.
Scares me to think, sometimes.

Hurting distance indeed.
Fool, small minded fool i was, to think oh well i should be ever so weary of relationships now shouldn't i, when in fact, it jolly well includes myself.
But of course, we're close enough to hurt ourselves.
Those voices that scream in our heads, they're actual a part of us. That's why they've got so much to use against us, to bring us down.

We're within hurting distance of ourselves.
There's no escaping anything, really.

That's what the tattoo in the picture means dears.
Karis, equivalant to Charis, meaning

Like the Grace of God, saving me,
when he found me despairing.


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