I do this exceptionally well

I took a test today,
to see if i was alive or dead.

Unfortunately, I found, to my shock, that i was still very much alive.

i've officially gone five days without having dinner.
After this long sleep i had today, i've woken up headachey and nauseous.

Tomorrow is such an incredibly, insanely long day.
Oh gosh, i don't know how i'll survive, it seems quite impossible.
My day starts at about half past nine and finishes way after.
i feel ready to give up):
Eurgh.

I'm very upset right now.
Maybe because i was so utterly disappointed with my test results.
It's like, out of everything, couldn't i have done at least one thing right;
Being dead?
I know i sound mad right now, just ignore me.

I'm suddenly very close to tears, and the weird thing is, i don't even know why.
I've been crying on and off for close to the past hour.
at random stuff that victor or alastair says.
How very very weird.
eurgh

I need to get out of the house for a bit.
I want to study, read, cross-stitch,
anything.
Anything.

Dying would be particularly good,
or getting into an accident! I've always loved hospitals.

Dying is an art.
I do it exceptionally well. - Sylvia Plath