Friday, January 4, 2008

upses and downses

My baby sister's work of art. haha

she's quite an artist i must say. She drew this, not with that whole mouse thing, but the actual pen on tablet screen.
i leave her alone to entertain herself while i put the finishing touches on my new and very clean room, and this is what she comes up with.

doesn't it just reek of cyanide and happiness? But who am i to say, i love them too. hahaha

I attempted to pen out this blog post but, what i waste of time really. haha.

So since New Year's, i've been cleaning up my room, shifting furniture around, wanting desperately to put up my princess net as well as Vicky's beautiful Christmas present.

Well i've done it, finally. Bit by bit and all by myself. After a while, i just started throwing lots of stuff away.

Inevitably with spring cleaning (though it's in the winter), comes waves of old memories. Photographs you can't remember taking, or smiling for, stares you back -a person straight out of your past.
Nostalgia slips in un noticed and before you quite realize, you're sitting down for a bit too long, staring just a few seconds more than necessary at an old picture (one you thought was ugly back then) and reliving a life you thought was quite forgotten.

I'm sorry.
But i had to do it.

I know, i wrote about it, told you, sang about it, to not just keep our memories in locked boxes. And i've been keeping them everywhere. Everything breathes with, aches, creaks and groans with the smell the reminder of you. It's like you're still here, filling the empty spaces but with an absence. And now, what would be the point?

Some of the pictures, the very first ones we took, have faded a little, you can barely make out the people in the picture. Some have gotten water on them, while others look like we just took them last week.

But it's all the same, at least now it is.

I used to get distracted by a picture frame, or the polaroid stuck in my mirror. Used to freeze when i smelt someone wearing the cologne you used.

And now i don't.
I pick up pictures and smile at the memory, smile at us smiling back.
But i've done what i never thought i'd do now, i've put them away. All of it.

There's no use keeping a family portrait on the wall when the family's broken apart already; It's too much of a burning reminder of what isn't there.
Like how black and white aren't really colours, rather, they're the absence of colour.
Like how silence isn't the opposite of sound, it's the absence of it- and sometimes silence can be a lot louder than sound itself.

As of right now, with my clean and newly positioned bed, done up room, which smells fab (as usual), i am very happy and contented. Even though i got off work incredibly tired and abit disappointed that i couldn't fit into those forty dollar shoes which i saw yesterday.

Now then, i really really must get myself to bed now because i've to be up early.


So it'll be a long weekend for me and i really really need this break. i've just been so incredibly drained recently because of Zaw starting lessons with me. He's a great guy, just not a marvellous student though i must say, he really does try very hard and almost always does his homework.

BACK TO POINT, i took tomorrow, or rather, today off and I've to be up just before eight before En qing comes knocking at my door. i'll just die greeting him in my PJs, though they're decent and very cute. (it's a long sleeved top and bottom in red with black star-like thingys AND it's from La Senza!)

What i'm trying to say is, i absolutely must go to bed like right now. My hair's reasonably dry so there's no excuse.

i'm having fucking break outs and i'm very upset):
i'm also at the tail end of being ill and only cancelled one lesson while i was ill.

The coffee bean guy was just the sweetest!

First, even though the Christmas Season's Peppermint latte/ Peppermint ice blend is over, he quickly got my order and did a latte for me. andandand, when i told him i was ill, he brought me Camomile and lemongrass tea.

I guess my good hair day affected everyone in turn. haha.

i'm in a very good mood.
Well, clearly as you can see. Because i actually let my baby sister play with Heather. haha.



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