Her In Case Of Emergency drawer.
Opens the tiny ziplock bag its in and grabs her tiny lighter off the counter, heading straight for the window.
And she breathes.
Oh she breathes, and tries to find relief.
I would call it an episode of sorts. Can't say I know what's up with me, really.
But I found myself tired, sick, annoyed, frustrated and biting back tears on an escalator.
It all hit me at once. And in a text to a rather concerned Erika, it sounded something like-
I HATE MY BIRTHDAY. HATE IT. HATE IT. HATE IT.
Okay, major exaggeration. But I was hit by that. It was sudden, solid, and real.
And I was overwhelmed by such immense annoyance and frustration.
I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around at that point.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to Veek and Qing, for being such a baby and a brat, Vicky and Eme and even Mommy for not being the best company towards the end, and Erika for clearly not being the happiest of bunnies on the phone.
I'm sorry, and thank you for putting up with me(:
Whatever this is,
Tomorrow I will disappear into my life.
To Mommy, for thinking tonight up
To Erika, who made it after a long day at work and an equally long one tomorrow, for writing me a letter that made me smile
To Eme, Veek & Enqing who came at such short notice and straight from work/school
To Vicky, who made it especially after tutoring at 9 at night and for making me smile by telling me I looked pretty when all I really wanted to do was sit down and cry
For turning up, for being you, for taking time to hang out, when all we've been is busy.
And Thank You,
To Bird, for calling when it was my Birthday on your side of the world, and making my night.
We all say hello too.
You made me smile and want to tear up all at once.
I love you(: