a girl wants to get lost, tonight

I woke up today feeling like absolute crap. Not just because i'm still kinda ill, but because I woke up feeling super frustrated at myself and everything that I know I have to do.

You have absolutely no idea what I feel like doing right now, on top of cocooning myself up in my room for, well i don't know, a month or something.

I feel like an absolute qwarfudger right now and i can't stand it. I've been sleeping in so much and just, not doing anything that it fucking pisses me off. I think this whole thing built up before I left for Thailand. You know, because I was taking on like a million students, and my schedule looked something like this:
Okay, I know you won't bother actually clicking on the thing and checking it out, cos it's a bad picture anyway.
But basically, my days were packed to the hilt with an odd hour bang right in the middle of the day or something fantastically stupid like that.

So i'm guessing my body's down doubly bad thanks to what happened before the trip.
And this really really sucks like a bitch I'm telling you.

I miss Thailand so fucking much.
I miss going there with no expectations other than to just be able to relax. And then going there and loving that I got to do all that I wanted to.

I miss not having to think about what i needed to do the next day. I miss waking up scarily early but not feeling it at all.
Omg I miss everything, and just talking about it makes me want to cry now.

And there's lots I want to cry about actually.
I think my period's coming or something, that's why.
skgherghsfawehoqhehfroweh!

I hate being such a qwarfudgering qwarfudger!

I just made myself coffee out of that last precious packet which I brought back from Thailand.
But the cups there were tiny and mine's large so, the coffee ends up being a bit watered down. And that makes me want to cry even more because I don't even have the exact same coffee as I got over there.


I kept singing this song while I was in Bangkok because of the city lights.
Now this song totally gets me.
I need to get a fucking grip before I start crying, and I really feel like doing that right now.




There's a harvest each saturday night
At the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride
A place you can stand for one night and get gone
It's clear this conversation ain't' doing a thing
Cause these boys only listen to me when i sing
And i don't feel like singing tonight
All the same songs

Here in these deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
Nothing here to hold on to
Could i hold you?

The situation's always the same
You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name
Stealing gold from the silver they see
But it's not me

Here in these deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
There's nothing here to hold on to
Could i hold you?

Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading away
Am i gone?
Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading

In these deep city lights
Girl could get lost tonight
I'm finding every reason to be gone
There's nothing here to hold on to
Could i hold on to you?