Monday, January 11, 2010

believe me, for I truly am apologetic.

My eyes are tired now, my vision's starting to blur.
Every second thing annoys me and I feel like screaming, pointing a finger and saying,
"You Singaporean!" - the best insult I know.

But it won't make sense to them, and it wouldn't make a difference.
Sometimes my intolerance and my furstration that has built up in the last sixteen years makes me mean and particularly harsh towards the locals here.
Sometimes I feel bad.

Because they're just as human as I am and everyone has their flaws.

My bestest friends in the world are Singaporean and they're nothing like the people I talk or blog about. I would hate me if I were them, because actually, I'm really no better.

It is one thing to criticize their rigid education system, or to point out flaws in the way they raise their people, but it is entirely a different matter for me to project that onto everything else that is well, Singapore.
You don't go into China and yell in their faces for spitting on the floor. It is their culture, and you chose to go there.
You don't go into the UK and get pissing mad because the roads are wet and slippery.
You don't go to Malaysia and complain about how everyone speaks Malay.

It doesn't make sense, it just doesn't.

So. Here I am, apologizing for sometimes being particularly degrading, for being intolerant, for gagging at your smells, for living here longer than I should have and blaming you for it.

In about six and a half to seven months, I will leave and I will be happy and contented. Which isn't to say that I'm not happy and contented now. I am, it's just that I get grumpy and verbally abusive.
So I will leave, and then I will come back on holidays and trips.

And then Singapore, I will learn to appreciate you a lot more.

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