Monday, December 6, 2010

We don't get two lives to live

What do you want?

I used to always just say that I wanted to be happy.
And I am.
I've never had an "I want" list because if one's happiness is based just on achieving or getting things, then they'll spend their entire lives moving from one achievement to another, in an effort to be happy.
But I think Happy is in the being.

At the same time, I'm starting to see that there might not be too much of a bad thing in wanting.
Jenny just said something interesting during her class on Tuesday:
If you ask for what you want, you might just get it. And if you ask and you don't, then you don't. Which is still better than not asking and therefore, not getting.
That the people who have gotten where they are is because they've gotten what they wanted. And they got what they wanted by asking for it.
The rest of the world, they're still in the middle of trying.

And Umi's passed me this belief, of how the rest of the world is, without even knowing it, working to give you what you want.

I'm not talking about a Bucket list, things to do before you die.
I'm talking about what we want for ourselves. Because we hardly find ourselves sitting down and answering our own questions.

I want to be involved in drama for the rest of my life-
both theatre as well as teaching.
I want to have children, I want very much to be a mother, and a good one.
I want to be within reasonable proximity to my family.
After this Christmas, I want to attempt to, for the most part, spend Christmas at home. Wherever Home may be.
I want to be with you.

Sunday, December 5th 2010

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