Monday, March 17, 2008

Seventeen, on the Seventeenth of March

As you probably already know,
i didn't quite succeed in posting seventeen posts on my seventeenth birthday.
And yes, i cheated and just changed the dates. hahahah

The day didn't really feel like my birthday, to be honest.
I was up at half past six and rushing for a show that started at half past seven.
As is normal with morning traffic and Murphy's Law, i was unable to get a cab.
Then, we turned into the wrong avenues and basically, took a million years.

Shawn's calling me, freaking out and im freaking out so bad i could cry!
The show, starting in the next ten minutes, AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE.

The cab swung into school, finally but his nets machine refused to work. I grabbed it and freaking MADE IT WORK before dashing upstairs.

I threw off my clothes, accidentally flashed a couple of kids and, still panting, stood in position.
I was the first character to begin-
My mind blank, the mic having not been tested, my first few lines were lost on top of the fact that i had to keep from panting into the mic.

But really, i think those were one of our better shows.
Pumped up by adrenaline and contact lens-less, i was unable to look out at a sea of faces and feel embarrassment, SO
what the hell, lets go all out to make a fool of myself.
I thought it was fantastic. hahaha

Anyway, i canceled on Victor to go home and sleep instead.
Stopped by for breakfast with Carol and when i got home, gratefully crawled back in and slept til two.

I was restless though;
felt like i'd wasted a day, that it didn't feel like my birthday. Stuff like that.
I wanted to go out to Jazz at Southbridge but thought against that in the end because, well, it was too far and i was too fat to waddle all the way there.

i sat at home, wrote Seventeen posts (or most of them anyway),
read the papers, got pissed off by a couple of locals.
Same old, same old.

Went to grapevine for dinner with Vic and my family though.
Was nice, and well, quiet.
Came home and resumed my back to back blogging until three the following morning. I swear.
But you won't be able to tell from the dates of course. haha

Wow whee,
I'm Seventeen.

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired

The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said, pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve

The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly

Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity
Their small town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen

To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball

It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me

We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen

no, it wasn't really that bad for me.

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