Chicken pies and children's books.

Today was nice.
In a paced-out, non-rushed way. Which was brilliant, especially knowing what I have tomorrow-
Tandjewberrymunch.

The little creature made this gorgeous batch of chocolates, of which I've had two. And my throat, it's just dying on me right now.
So not smart Charis.
Am tired as hell now, so it looks like I might just shift my run to tomorrow instead.
I'll try working out a bit to make my lazy self feel better.
At the same time, I kind of want a run.
But my eyes are freaking closing on my and me is TIRED.

bloody hell, I give up. Buttons looks too adorable curled up in my bed, I will just go take pictures of her instead. And sort out tomorrow's lessons.
I likey, I like the schools and the classes.
(omg she's freaking tucked herself in and curled up! I'm going to cry at the adorableness of this!)

Okay, going to shower.
And uhm, sort tomorrow out.
*straightens imaginary tie.

beanbags and parquet floors

So.
Today was good and fun, albeit leaning towards the stuff-your-face-waddle-home bit.

I don't know why I did, but I brought her to my favourite place in Singapore. Where I've sat for lots of rounds of the same drink, written, drawn, composed, people-watched.

It's been a comfortable few days, very in fact. I might have spent the most part trying to run or move, or get over this whole bad news thing (which I'm still not quite over yet), but aside from that, we hang out and walk and chat and it's easier to breathe because there's someone to talk to.


On a completely different note, I've decided that I can't be bothered to give a flying fuck about things that really don't involve me. I mean, I did try to tell you, but you weren't listening. Not in the least. So, I can't be stuffed anymore.
People, they go, "Why are you lazy? What do you mean by lazy?" Well here's the truth. I'm lazy to find/make time to deliberately go out with someone and be (or make them feel) all comfy and relaxed. This is why I have time for my friends and family, because I dont need to help them feel like they can talk to me. Also, I figure, if we hit it off and start hanging out, then clearly I'm finding time without trying.
So that won't tire me out, it makes sense, no?
Also, I'm really lazy to suss out the whole, emotional thing. I'm tired lar, I give up. I am old and I will have 97 cats. I've grown to accept that.
More than any of that, really, I am lazy to feel too much, lazy to cry and tell myself to get a grip. I'm lazy to pick myself up if I get into a rut, thanks to the whoever of the month. I'm lazy to think about what I should do and where it will all go.
Lazy to deal with mind games, let alone mind fucking.

So.
That's me in a nutshell. The lazy part that is.
And that's how I've been for the last three years actually. hahahaha.
Of course I've cried and felt and hated myself for it.
But well, generally lazy.

meh.

So. I have a few days left, better get shit together and tidy up.
Breathe.
I said, "screw being ill" last week and started working out again mid-week. I've missed it.
I miss Muay Thai.
I miss everything that used to be my very normal, everyday life.

I'd pass on all of this right now,
just to see myself blocking out dates and cancelling appointments,
hurrying up the slope into that all too familiar gate. Going up to see the pony, getting changed,
feeling like I've just gotten home.
Smelling normal, working out after my last round of pad work, rolling my eyes at the mirror because I DO look that grotesque.
"EW. aren't you gonna bathe honey?" Kiki will say, and I'll think,
"naw, I'm going to go behave like a Singaporean today." And then i stick myself on the crowded bus, headphones in,
able to breathe.

I miss life as it were, just,
a month ago, you know?

And I hate that I can't hold on to it.

I'm heading out for a run now, nothing else would make sense.

serenity

inked by Kash

Becs called to say that today's class was off. In other words, I "caught up on sleep" (aka curled into a lazy bum in the shape of a ball) for an extra couple of hours when I ought to have been doing something useful. At the same time, extra rest is always good(:

It's going to be a fantastic week, I can feel it.
And boy, am I looking forward to it.((:

Last week was, in a nutshell, messy.
In ways that are never good for the soul or the brain. It was also surprising, in terms of extra work that turned out quite nice.

So now there's a week or so before I start on another shoot (for which I'm very excited for!), a few days til I pop out of the country and back in, a week nearly two to performing at the Prince of Wales again, and a couple of hours to meeting up with the hamster-haired girl.

The children are doing fine, have mostly been in the company of grandma and Aunt Creature. But Aunt Creature always lets them cuddle in the middle of the day while she zones out. So they're definitely not complaining.

This week feels like it'll pass by really fast, and it probably will. So I really ought to do something about the kip that my room's become.
On a brighter note though, I cleaned up the bathroom mirror and rearranged the bottles and shit. I've also been randomly, sporadically scrubbing the bathroom sink. Which are all early sign of an oncoming mini-explosion that will lead to be spending two days straight running around, cleaning, scrubbing, taking breaks by staring out the window, breathing and finishing a glass of wine, before jumping back into the tidying and shoving and desperate need to get it al sorted out.

I like to think that your room is a reflection of where you are at that time in your life.
So for the most part, it's been clean, neat, organized. Besides not being regularly swept, it was otherwise, very comfy and easy to get around.
Enter transition period. But I got my answers, and my room, was still very clean.
Enter post-transition period where I was sick as a dog, still working, and sick as a dog. The room got rearranged, but then the mess, it grew, and accumulated. Like how the being ill has just kept coming back, while I've gotten busier and oh, busier.
Ta dah!

But well, I'm getting sorted out nicely now, so it doesn't make sense, the mess around me. Must continue with the packing, for sure. The flea market sale, the clothes that I need to chuck or won't use until getting over there.
The clearing out of rubbish that doesn't mean one sodding thing (in both the literal and metaphorical sense).

So yes, I've done the morning workout, I'm just off to live the rest of my day now.
Toodle-loo.

It's uncanny, it is. and it's madness, it is.

and how you know me girl,
it's crazy.
and i don't know how you do it.

and when you chose out, did you see the mess you left me to fix on my own?

excerpts, and snippets of this life

you are some other life i cannot have

the way you stop hearts with your eyes and those fingers of yours, you could be criminal.

more than anything

2004

I've been the her in this, I've been the you. But I've never been the me, and I suppose, it's my turn now. I shouldn't be whinging about this, I suppose. After all, it is something I am fully aware of, not to mention something that doesn not concern me in the least.
But I guess I just never figured that the slightest change in factors, might make the situation entirely different.

"Listen to the voice in your head," I tell people, and I'm supposed to be one who practices what I preach.
There isn't fear, or anything that remotely resembles sadness or anger.
But there is an inkling, an idea, that I can only smile at. Smile at in my "I know," kind of smile. Which is hardly as sad as it might sound here.

This, this is too deja vu, too messy with a truckload of emotional baggage thrown in for free.
It hasn't been very long, and already, I'm wondering,
"when's that going to be then eh?"


But the best lies we tell, are always to ourselves.

"Infinito," he says quietly, "go fuck yourself" she whispers back

Because the magic was never in the bloody clay, or in the person who made it.
There wasn't any magic to begin with, in fact.

And I think, when it comes down to it, all we really need is a large cup of honesty.
Not watered down, not taken with a dash of sugar.
Just that, and the bitter residue it might leave on your tongue.

Because at least after that,
you can choose to get up and walk away.

Time travelling, makes you forget your wine

SO.
It's been busy.
I can't quite believe we've sailed right into March and there's just such an insane mess of stuff to do, I feel like I'm going quite mad. I've got insane deadlines that I just absolutely cannot meet, too many unfinished drinks, and a desperate need to be back at my Muay Thai gym.

I don't even have time for the only thing that keeps me sane. But you know what, to hell with the illness and bull. I'm going back this Saturday.

My days, they threaded together to form this unending series of drinks, jugs of water, screaming, zoning out and having an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a night, bar none.
It was a crazy week, and I have barely managed to catch my breath before stepping into real life.
So just in case you've been wondering, no, last week wasn't my usual routine.

My life consists of children, lesson plans, dinners with my family and saturday night drinks with my best friends. The pool, when I get the chance, and Muay Thai, three times a week.
Everything's sort of been thrown out of the window for the last two weeks though.
It's taking tremendous effort to get back on track.

So it's the birthday month, and the last thing on my mind right now is the birthday because, honestly, WHERE IS ALL THIS MESS COMING FROM.
It's madness it is, and I'm ill like only the devil and his minions can make me.

I met a tonne of people within the week. A fair bit were interesting, some less so. Some well, had issues but I mean, I didn't get the brunt of it so it was just amusing to watch.
It's Bella's 24th today, and we're going to have this do about what you ought to be doing at 24.
Which is fun, because we're probably all in the different phases of the 24 in any case.

At 24 though, flying off because you've had enough, that's ballsy. Not everyone can pull it off though and a good bunch crawl back with their tail between their legs. I doubt she'd do that.

Enough of this rant,
I need to hop into the shower and wash last night's crusts off me.
And then go terrorize little children of course.
There's always parts of the job you love, no?(:

Have a good rest of the week, furry people!

right beneath the security blanket

and we always know what we should and shouldn't do.

Greet your elders,
Don't talk to strangers,
Sit up straight,
Take everything he tells you with a handful of salt.

We live and learn, we do.
But every time that it does hurt, it doesn't hurt any less.
Being prepared doesn't mean you've got a safety net, being prepared means you thought there was a safety net when really, there wasn't.

As we've grown older, made the choices and pushed limits, we've formulated rules for ourselves.
Rules and reasons.
Rules that you should know by now that ought not to be broken, and reasons that have always stood a chance of being looked at and reviewed.

Hindsight, they say, is always twenty-twenty.
But it doesn't always make our line of vision clearer for the next few roads we have to look at.

Look before crossing the road,
make sure you've got your keys before leaving the house,
pray before you eat,
call mommy if you're coming home late,
keep your heart safe.


Just because you know exactly what you should do, doesn't mean that you will.
And when the treasure you've pulled up starts to disintegrate in your hands, you might say,
"Well I kinda knew that would happen," but it doesn't make you miss what you had.
And it doesn't stop you from wishing
that you had just a little bit more time to hold on to it.

butterfly kisses

Butterfly & Iris
Watercolour
Kathryn Kelton


We feel the breath of the world, right under our fingertips.
The city clock glows, a light switch in the dream.

I sat down, wanting to write, wanting to tell.
Talking, I can do, paint you pictures even.
But I couldn't, not really.
And that's always the problem, isn't it?

When the chocolatey-almond brown comes almost close, but just isn't the same shade as her eyes. When that single extra hair in the paintbrush makes her smile too unbearably different that the picture becomes a lie.

When everything is almost,
but it isn't.

babehz

Well, if today hasn't been a fruitful day so far, I don't know what else to call it!
I slept in til noon, for one.
Clearly I've bollocksed up my biological clock and waking up instantly at 8am has become a memory of me being disciplined and all the things I wish I were more of, today.

So anyway, after checking out the lesson plan and planning activities in my head (I like Mondays with Xin Min, they're decent and we get a ton more work done for some reason), I walked to work and then walked back.
(I'm trying to sound healthy and energetic, but it doesn't take very much effort. It's less time than Vicky takes to walk to Bird's. Or almost the same)


Because Fishbone has been gobbling up his sister's food like day in and day out, and Buttons comes into the sanctuary of our room to find her bowl nearly empty, we've been suspecting that Fishbone might have redeveloped worms.
Actually i personally think he is half dog. But anyway, after days of procrastination, I gave him the deworming paste. It is SO handy, twenty bucks for this huge syringe. And it's the same one that breeders use!

So while I was out, instead of coming home to find poop with worms in them, I came back to a major pool of puke in the middle of my kitchen. Complete with his breakfast and some of his sister's.
Now, Buttons has very bad hairballs because of her thick fur so she tends to throw up once in a while. How did I know this belonged to Fishbone? Because as I was cleaning up, I saw bits of newspaper. And, because Fishbone is half dog, he's the only one of the two that eats trash.
Ta da! Lovely investigative work indeed!*pats back

So I had to wipe that up and then mop the area. After rinsing out and putting the mop away, I reached for my cell phone and found another tiny pool of puke. Just with digested food this time.
Cleaned that up too and by this time I was half ready to throw up myself.
Cleaned my hands thoroughly, and then set about making myself lunch. Which was fresh orange juice. And takes about as long to cook noodles.

Post lunch and skype-spaz session with Vicky, I came out to find more puke which I also had to mop up.
Madness.

I also had to rush off to hang out the clothes even though it was four and there was no sun, simply because I kept forgetting to hang them out.
Once that was done, and I felt all satisfied with myself, I walked out and found yet another pool of puke.

So I bloody soaked the sodding mop in cleaning agents, mopped the kitchen and then the one puke puddle outside it.

Eurgh.

So, here I am. At home but unrested. Well that's a lie, I've been site hopping a lot and texting A LOT even though I actually really don't like texting that much. (this is really how lazy I am) I love receiving texts though! hahahah

So there we go, a lot of work for a very lazy girl.
I'm going to go work out and head for dinner now.
I ought to key in my Western Civilization answers first though.

Ta!

For Ron,

so that for about a minute and a half, you can pretend you're not here





This is what I'm in love with(:

word association: Happiness

Cat
Children
Birthdays
Sun
Beach
Family
Apartment
Home
LA

You blow my mind sometimes.
Your singing, threading your lyrics carefully into the bits of me that never wanted to believe.
Your lies, oh your lights.
They've warned me, they've chided me and they call me foolish.
Eejits, they think they know better.
How can they when they have never felt,
when they have never known you.
Your lights and oh, your lies.
The way the cold of you bites at me, the way your warmth fills me.
Right under my feet, it feels like this could be my forever.
Like this cigarette will never run out, like this stage will never collapse.

You are not home, but my word, you come so close.
And it is more than enough for me,
it is.
Your lies, and oh your lights.
They don't have to be as bright as they say,
but you're my path away from this
damnation.
And it is enough for me,
your lights and oh, your lies.

To get Vicky excited(:

Whaddya think Vicky?
:D




*SCREAMS* shopping! Which i will not to do any of, when we go over):


These are the twin-bedded rooms
and then,
in case you want to,
we get access to the pool in the affiliated hotel right across the road!

ps: yes that's Victor in the middle.


you want baby?(((((((((((((((((:

so cradle your head in your hands

I'd like to get away.
Just for a day maybe. A day or so.
I'd like to get away.
To not think about what you might think of me or what I think of myself.
I'd like to get away.
If only just so that I may breathe again.

Chinkay!

SO
I was trying desperately to find a picture of myself looking freaking chinky.
But I couldn't.
So I settled for Aunty instead (I'm in white. and red that is)
Don't complain,
SHADDUP.

soooooo, this picture was also taken years ago. And I do mean years.
Years ago like, "before the end of my first relationship" kind of time frame.

It was quieter this year.
I'm sure a few families were hiding out to avoid the throngs of strangers' children that they'd have to dole out money to. But on top of that, in terms of my friends, where there used to be like 5,6 of us (plus random fighting fish) there were only four of us. Three, inclusive of me, by the time we got back to my place.
quite sad.

Anyway,
over the course of this period, clearly few of us haven managed to get any studying done and I am tired out of my eyeballs. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
But i'm having such an insanely fat week because being a woman, one tends to experience the "fat and ugly week" once a month.
Boys, you DO NOT know how good you have it. Don't even begin to try and compare this with your massive surge of hormones when you were thirteen and had to have alone time like 924540295784508630610601386586 million times a day.
At least you grow out of it.
WE DON'T.
IT LASTS FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES AND THEN WE HIT MENOPAUSE AND GET EVEN ANGRIER.

But this is like, on of the few reasons I don't like being a girl.
I generally LOVE being a girl.


V, Vic and I also made this mayjah decision last night to not go to Australia in June and head for Bangkok instead. I do love Bangkok, I do. But I was looking forward so so much to Australia.
And it kills me, this knowledge that I will likely not see Bird or D for maybe two, three years at least. I get this feeling i'm more likely to see D than Bird, because at least she has cousins in the States.
oh woe is me.

On a brighter note, the lunch and the last five minutes of sermon were nice. I feel horrid for missing out on so much. Trust me, I am kicking myself now.
Practice after that was really nice too(:
I likey.
Plus, to top of my really nice day, I got to meet Asher and, *GASP* Wesley, who I haven't seen in five years! Everyone's all grown up now:/

I also realized, like at seven thirty or something this evening, that after talking quite a bit to Sam Choo today, while at his place, I failed to realize that it was, in fact, HIS BIRTHDAY.
And a very important birthday at that! It wasn't like 43 going on 44 or like, 7 going on 8. He has officially hit the big Two-oh.
How can that not be a big deal?
So I called and apologized, and then told him he was an old man.
To which he replied, "Thanks"


It's back to work tomorrow, and lunch with Qing, which I'm looking forward to. I'm missing hanging out with him so much! ):
Lets hope we don't all keel over now! I am SO tired.

So last call,
9pm, 17th Feb 2010 (Wednesday, tomorrow)
101 Dunlop street,
Prince of Wales
Really near Little India Station

We're doing covers for about two hours.
But what's special about this is that it's the first time in five years that I'll be singing with this band again. It's not the full band, but close enough. And I love singing with them:D

So come by, have a drink, hang out, chew on the stranger's arm beside you.
Hope to see you.

Now.
Sleep.

^^

Here's wishing you guys a wonderful and prosperous (I only use this word cos it's a very chinese word) Lunar New Year:D

Hope everyone's been having fun slipping food to the dog under the table, catching up with cousins/friends and doing silent comparisons or just generally (and honestly) enjoying the company of people you rarely see.

Jerilyn, who's in LA says she's seen one Chink family having a reunion dinner and she's a tad envious, and I figure, that's how I might feel. So I'm appreciating this for aaaaaaaall it's worth. Which also means getting the hell off the computer.

Have fun kiddies and be nice to the oldies!


Love,
Charis Vera and her new boyfriend

Happy Valentine's Day

or Chinese New Year.
As TLC says though, Chinese New Year totalled pwns V day.

Shame, considering it's my last.
Had a chat with someone over msn and I realized the brilliance and the awesomeness of spending V day in the company of theee most amazing friends, a few bottles of wine, a tonne of smoke and sticks of cheese.

Sometimes, without realizing it, I end up gloating about how brilliant it is, spending special hols with my close friends. Sorry):

So yes, it's my last Valentine's Day in Singapore and we're spending it tidying up the house. Come to think of it, I haven't actually been asked out on Valentine's Day for the last four (including this one). In fact the last Valentine's Day that was very Valentine's Day-y was when I was still living in Pasir Ris.
strange that.

So it's Chinese New Year and my room is a bloody tip. It's horrid, and my sister's outside talking about CNY decorations when we've already got them but she wants to do the place up so more although frankly, I don't see why.
It's like, looking for more Christmas decor on Christmas Eve. I feel that way anyway, I mean, if we've waited til the last minute there's hardly time to enjoy it anyway.
I hope to God that we don't get more CNY decorations, think about the trees and the money! Yes I know we leave those things up all year round but it's not a good thing, you know.

rawr.
please, no more no more.

I mean, we've got to bloody get mandarin oranges for starters. There're important things to do and get! We're so freaking unprepared for CNY this year that it's bloody awful.
ughhhhhhhhhhhh


Anyway, whatever.
Happy Valentine's Day kiddies, we're all gonna need the wine to get us through these few days!

Ta!

and my skin misses your fingers, the way my fingers miss your skin

Just a little bit of a something

Almost desperate, in some way, to have you communicate with me sometimes.
Sometimes, not always.
To the point where I read a non-conversational line that you've written, over and over and over again. Just reading it carefully, in detail, so that I won't miss out on even the little bit that you might have to say to me.
Even when there is nothing, really, that you have to say to me.

The awful thing about realization is that sometimes it comes when you aren't looking.
When you're just, poking around and prodding at things that you are otherwise generally very comfortable and contented with.
And when realization comes, you have to say it out so that you know it. But it gets painful sometimes, even if it's just a wee bit.


Generally speaking, I am fine.
I am loved, I am comfortable with where I am. I'm not just content, I am happy. Truly.
I have space, I have work, I have time.
And in that moment that I ended up in the middle of a dissection, I half wondered if I was actively looking for something to be discontented with.
But I wasn't, I am not.

In fact, if I take a couple of steps back, I'm still just as happy and comfortable.
It's just the little bits I suppose.
The acknowledgement of the possibility that, not everything he's said is true or real.
That maybe, quite likely, you are the disease rather than the antidote.
That you are, in actual fact, not that utterly enthralling special thing he tells you you are.
That really, you're just like the rest of them.

It's okay, I suppose. It's not like I can help it.
But it's a tad painful all the same.


There isn't any way to think this, let alone say it, without sounding petty and childish and self-absorbed. But it's something that's gnawed away bits of me over time.
And honestly, I'm sorry that I think these things and feel this way. Even though it's in rare moments or only right at the back of my mind and in a corner.

Because the thing is, I know I must mean something.

It's just that, for a lot of the time I used to feel like I had to keep trying and trying and trying.
And then I didn't anymore, and no one's making up for it.
At the same time we're all busy anyway and we all need our space.
So if you put all that together, toss in a few phonecalls, dinners and rants over drinks every other week or two, that's pretty much all there is to it.


It's me, and I'm annoyed at myself because two seconds before this it was all fine and dandy.
And yes I've known for ages that I'm not a choice favourite,
but then suddenly I'm just kind of wondering if this'll go on for ages, and if that would be okay.
Somedays I think it will be, but other days, I think I'll wake up to find that everything isn't where I've left it and then I'll just have to deal with it.


Or maybe I can dig a hole for myself, crawl in and count to a hundred.
You can't see me if I can't see you, right?

sweet seats

It's fucking hilarious. and strange.
and hilarious.
It's just two minutes and it'll make your week!
GO WATCH IT NOW

"Well you don't post that often either!" "I DO" "NO" "I don't. dammit"

I didn't realize it'd been this long! I swear!
So although I'm pretty sure my blog doesn't get read that much, I'm sorry if you actually took the time to have a look-see, just to find that it's a week old.

To be honest, I haven't really had the time.
I haven't touched Kirsten (this mini laptop that I use regularly) in a few days.
I read emails on my cell, check out facebook and tweet like a twit all on my cell phone. Just so tired these days.

Okay but just to make up for my laziness, here's something to make you smile and keep on reading!

awwwwwww(:

So, quick update. If I haven't been working, I've been studying, if not, I've been sleeping. I kid you not, it's that bad.
I did however, manage to catch a movie with V, D and Vic a couple of nights ago (i think it was. my days fuse together) It was an artsy thing called Kisses, and I absolutely loved it.
I even cried, that's how much I loved it.
I'm sorry, no I did not cry in Avatar. At all. I kid you not.
D seemed bored although she did pay attention hahaha and V was just mentally vibing the characters (through the screen) not to kiss. But they did.
Check out what I think here! http://charisvera.blogspot.com/2010/02/kisses.html

Or just scroll down, if you're not poking through archives.

Aside from that, I missed Steph's farewell because I was rehearsing with Wang and Roshen.
Yeeeeap, that's right, after five years of not playing together, and hardly even being in contact, I'm doing a tiny thing with them next Wednesday.
It's been suchhhh a long while!
Okay so for you folks who're interested, it's :

Wednesday, February 17th 2010
Prince of Wales
101 Dunlop Street
9pm


What else do I have up?
My third finger got stabbed, like literally STABBED by Buttons this morning. Trying to be all affectionate and cuddly, she stepped on my hand and a single claw sank into my finger. Now it feels like a bloody painful blister.

Today was an absolutely lovely end to my week(:
It was the first day of Northbrooks Sec 2s and they were just such an amazing bunch. Becs says I always get the nice class for some reason, which isn't always true but they were so lovely today!
Brilliant kids(:

I want to study now, I do.
Except I feel more inclined to curl up in bed and sleep. I was supposed to go jogging tonight too.
Pah, like that'll happen.


xoxo

Kisses

(I love this poster more than the other one. It's tonnes prettier)


I think what I loved about this show was the simplicity of it.
It wasn't your typical four part- Introduction, rising conflict, conflict, conclusion.
The introduction was more or less your rising conflict. What you first think is the conflict comes very early on, and then post that, is another rising conflict-conflict-cycle all over again.
(pointless trying to put it into words!)

It wasn't so much a, brace yourself brace yourself BOOM CONFLICT ending thing.
More like this, entire journey with the humps and bumps and crashing into each other sort of thing. Most beautiful of all was how it ended.
Considering the fact that they asked to be taken home. Considering they knew exactly what lay in wait for them. Considering they never did find out whether Dylan's brother was dead or alive.

For the time they ran away, they were themselves and they were free.
Their initial motivation for running away from home faded into this common knowledge that what they were running away from was in actual fact, part of their (more or less) everyday life. To turn their back on their newfound freedom and come home to what isn't necessarily the less of two evils, shows this intense deepening and changing of both characters.

Coming home, it was a big thing. And in a matter of days, they had grown into young adults, at all of twelve, thirteen. The didn't go home just to "face the music". The initial troubles; The broken windows, the fight, the worry, those weren't just what they were going home to.
Going home meant actively returning to their life of emotional and/or verbal abuse.

And that last bit, where they just faced each other, without a word. It was beautiful because there was just so much that was right between them. So much that they could hold on to, but that might shatter if you touched it.
Then the families, both their families, yanked them away from each other. They broke that spell, that beautiful moment. But because they broke everything else around those two kids, what they had between them remained intact. And that'd turn out to be something they can go back to when everything else around them falls apart.
And it will.

Crossing the Rubicon

I love the ache in my body right after a good fight.
Two weeks out and I hopped back in. It was good and I hate that I've missed out for so long.
At the same time, I managed to complete one out of two chapters of Western Civilization. That means half my assignment is done.

Strangely, I was up early today, scurrying off for breakfast with momsie.
I meant to do my assignment, but then the machine got started (I personally don't think it's very bright to start the machine if you can't hang the clothes out yourself unless you've actually asked someone beforehand. nevermind though)

So there's that to do as well as getting ready because I have to leave in an hour. I might just be a bit of a geek and bring my work out. Western Civilization is incredibly interesting! I wish I could remember eeeeeeverything that I've learnt so far because it really is interesting.
(:

I'm walking a bit funny now cos it turns out i might have kinda dislocated my kneecap, and when it was righting itself, it clipped a nerve. Good going Charis, good going.
It was stupid, even! I was trying to knee him except you can't knee when you're standing at a normal distance.
I've a lot more to learn clearly. Wish I wasn't so like, all over the place. DAMMIT.


Been so tired/busy/busy being tired (not because of work, mind you!) that i don't even have time to write down my schedule in my schedule book. How silly.


Anyway, I haven't cleared my cell phone inbox since coming back from HK which was like, a week before Christmas. So last night I scanned through the more-than-2-thousand texts (not all, clearly. i missed out on the bulk cos i was sooo tired) chucked some into a folder for safe-keeping and chucked the rest out.

There were texts from Justin like weeks before he left and then I realized I really miss him being around Singapore. Whether he sends some snide remark about a smelly person on the bus or just randomly texts "!!!" to me, it was always a very Justin-y thing to receive via text. Which I don't anymore, clearly. And I kind of miss that.
):


And then now I don't know if I'm ready,

for you to leave either.

Of course it's never about you (the ones left behind) but it's just like, so many of us upping and leaving. Inclusive of me I suppose.
I never thought it'd feel this way. And I am plagued by this idea that there are so many things that I take for granted that I might possibly never be able to get to do with you guys again.

I'm absolutely sure we'll meet up again, whether in a month, six or a few years. And I don't think we'd drift apart because what we have is special (how many people can say that out of their group of friends most of them have a scar caused by the same person! hahahaha)
But it's just, well little things.

CNY, for example. We won't house hop together anymore, as a group, taking turns to zone out at each other's places and realize that "hey eme, there's a fighting fish in your tank" to which she replies, "HAHAH. don't be stupid." pauses and then goes, "FUCK THERE'S A FIGHTING FISH IN MY FISH TANK. WHEN DID THAT GET THERE?"

Or on birthdays, alternating between smashing cake into each other's face (although as we've gotten older we seem to smear it on ourselves. like at D's birthday this year, for picture 463) and getting pissed out of our minds and having grand lesbian orgies until we pass out in the living room.

Or even our very very contant Once-a-week meetups where we just say "cheers to the end of a hellish week and to a more hellish one that will follow"

We will see each other for sure, but I'll miss our everyday patterns that make this us.
And by then, all I'll have is a little cluster of coloured stars tattooed onto me. Which, frankly speaking, is not half as responsive as talking to you guys.

I had an awful nightmare about Bird leaving and not even realizing it. So I woke up very panicky, and then the pain of my relocated knee cap brought me back to my room.

I miss you guys already you know.
Being able to call Vicky up just to go ORHORH (although I've got another five months to do that still), texting D (we've never had long phone conversations i realized. except once when i was very drunk and sitting on the edge of my window sill. hahaha), chatting online/tennis match-texting Bird and going for insanely long days of blading at East Coast, calling Victor a girl, watch Eme magically warp her face into something so monstrously, grotesque and beastly and then strive to better that. I miss Ann, talking with her in my room (which she used to say always made her crave tuna sandwiches).
I miss knowing that we're right there, an arms' length away from each other.

RIGHT,
before I go all sniffly and sappy on you guys I'd best make a move.
It's just that, suddenly everything's moving so quickly. And, as we always do, I wish I had more time to hold onto the right now.


Well that's that then, we'll cross the Rubicon one at a time and meet each other on the other side. After that we'll smile at what we had then, and appreciate what we have now.

Love you guys tonnes.

orhorh

I cannot take it anymore. I can't.
If I wait another day, surely I will die. I cannot do this, I can't.
I will leave as soon as I possibly can.

For Muay Thai.

(:

I don't understand how I could possibly have missed out on so much. I feel like crying, that's how bad it is!
And February is a grossly short month too. There'll be another week out while my coach goes home. Darn.
I'm so frustrated with myself.

Anyway, I seem to be meeting new and incredibly fun people this year! It's SO weird because I don't reeeeeeaaaally socialize. Especially not on set and stuff. I mean I do, but I don't figure I'd ever see them again. Like ever.

But generally, stuff looks all padded out and fun this year.
Excited(:
OMGOMGOMG.

EXCITED!

LAL I AM WAITING FOR FEBRUARY TO END, JUST FOR YOU OKAY!

My eyes are tired but I've finally managed to poop.
Not that you need to know. But it's definitely made me less grumpy.

If I can do it, I'll get my tattoos done earlier. Or maybe.
dammit, i'll be out for another week or so while I recover. I'll just do them both like a four five days apart or something.
Excited(:


The year is good. It is good.
It feels like it'll continue to be too(:

We don't have time for each other anymore.

I was never meant to be here.

When I first arrived in Singapore as a child, I was laughed at, made fun of or altogether ignored because of my accent. Local kids hated me.
They either made fun of me in my face, or they said I was ugly (because of my accent?) and/or proud (because of my accent. i think. and the way i walk)

Troubled, sad, desperate to fit in (and who wouldn't want to, at that age?), I learnt to speak like the people around me. I left no trace of having ever lived or having learnt to speak in Scotland. All that was left was a strange, almost-Singaporean-like accent, peppered with very Brit pronunciations. Like strawberries (strough-breeze), medicine (medi-sen. Never max-sen), Wednesday (wensday, never weh-nes-day) and a few other words.

The same thing happened when I got into primary school and I spent most breaks eating out of my lunchbox at the grandstand that overlooked the school field. Or I would wander around the eco-garden and talk to the animals there. I would spend entire recess periods in the fenced up area that contained the chicken coop and I would carry them and talk to them. Or to the rabbits. or to the squirrels. or to the tadpoles and the baby frogs that were only just losing their tails.
Failing all, I would wander about in the tiny garden, on the cobblestone path. I'd run my palm over forget-me-nots and share tiny bits of my sandwich with the Koi.
The best friends I had when I was in lower primary were these two girls on my schoolbus. They understood me, they laughed and we went quite manic with the most random ideas. They were Janice Yue and Charmaine Koh. We remained quite close throughout primary school and we're still friends now, although just not as close. But they were just brilliant for me back then.

As my accent gradually toned down again, I started mixing with my classmates a bit more and especially when I went to childcare, all hope of speaking decently went completely out the barred windows.
Turning eleven brought about the peak of this. Along with the fact that the coolest thing at the time was tO tYpE lYk DiS lOrX. So yes, I even had my ah lian phase.
Embarrassingly, I made a deliberate effort to type lYk DiS tEw JaMeS aNd tEll hIm sKeWlX fInIsH LiaOx in my emails. Maybe to prove that I fit in here, that I was cool or something.
(sigh. eleven year olds.)

Throughout this time though, as it still does til this day, my Brit accent would come out particularly strong when
1)I'm ordering or talking to service staff
2)I'm sad or angry
3)I'm talking to strangers
4) When I'm reading aloud or acting

When I went into Secondary school, I gave up on trying. I think I was tired. I didn't know what was cool and people still told me off for pronouncing salmon as seh-mon, insisting it was pronounced sellmon. I gave up. I was tired and I figured, Bird still understood me so at least I'd have one friend in school.

It's been a long time since and I've come ages from that kid in nursery now. I laugh at it, I tell people and they go, "aww poor kid" but it's really funny. I don't mind what I went through because I'm very much myself and very comfortable now.
At the end of the day, I still laugh because now, years on, some people try to pick up my accent when they talk to me and then they sound a bit strange. So no more issues.
I think.




Teaching, you'll always have curious children asking why you sound different. And I answer them honestly and when it makes sense to them, we carry on with our lesson. Of course I make an extra effort to tone it down so that they understand me better.
ie; saying jelly instead of jello/ char kway teow instead of creme brule/ cannot lar, epic fail instead of you cannot do this because it does not make the slightest bit of sense.

I'm okay with it, I am.

And then today, at the tuck shop, I stood second in line. I waited for five ten minutes before getting my turn. Why? because a hoard of boys just came up beside me and ordered. The stall owners said nothing.
I cannot help saying this, but this would never have happened in PL.

Tired, when it came to my turn, I asked for "a bottle of water." The child beside me mimicked my accent in an inaccurate, typically childish Singaporean, warped and ogre-ish way. He was right beside me. Right beside me and he did this.
Of course it did not help that the stall lady did not understand me. He carried on mocking me for the length of time it took them to understand me. Which was approximately the time it took me to say, slowly, "a bottle of water" about four times.

I stared at him aghast, the first time it happened. And I thought about the things I could do and say to him. But at that point, I was just so tired and drained from the class that had just ended that I couldn't even summon the energy to roll my eyes at him.

It stung. And I left the school in tears on the phone with Mommy. Just like I used to be, when I called her during recess, back in Primary school.
My reaction surprised me as did whatever I felt. I thought it was long gone, something I'd gotten over a lifetime ago.

But I suppose some things will still sting.
And children, can be the most evil of the lot.

leave your emtional baggage at the door please, but don't forget it on your way out!

I'm tired as hell.
I desperately need sleep.

I do not understand why you're snapping at me like this, or why after snapping, you've continued with this attitude of being generally irritated or annoyed with me. (which is strange considering I haven't done anything to offend you. Other than asking why my things were not in my room I suppose, in a possibly less than nice way)

But I don't understand how half an hour in you can still hold on to that irritation. Or close the door as I'm asking you something.

We're all tired, so I don't think it is particularly fair to be faced with something like this right now.
Especially right now.


I'm going to go to sleep now.
I'm going to pass out.
I think sometimes I kind of wish I will.

meh

I think I just might collapse out of sheer exhaustion.
Exhaustion from thinking about what I have to do next.
I wanted to nap, but I don't have the time anymore. I feel like I'm dying.

I hope I have enough time to bathe before I keel over. I'd hate to smell of school children when people are clearing my lifeless body.

I am annoyed and irritated.

Because I was dying to go for Muay Thai today.
Because I was desperate in a way that made me feel like I might collapse from the sheer lack of Muay Thai.
Because I've been away from it for more than a week and I promise you, it feels more physically annoying than not having sex for more than a week.

It is madness.

But there are things to do today, and things that I find difficult to work around. And right now, I cannot, I cannot work around it.
I wanted to make myself better by going for a swim, but then I have to rush around and do other things of higher priority and importance but which does not, give me a nice tan.

On top of that, I need to take a dump.
But I'm off coffee and smokes and can't seem to take a freaking dump.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THIS FEELS.

ughh.



Anyway, on a happier note.


Not that this picture is at all happy because we were sending him off but I couldn't find my skype pictures. WHERE ARE THEY DAMMIT.

I had a lovely chat with Justin last night which resulted in a lot of spazzing and a lot less tearing up and going "omg I wish i could talk. I feel like I'll never see you again."
I think the working mic made a world of difference. Well it wasn't the mic's fault, just msn.
Which is why I hate msn.

I'm having a splitting headache. I want to keep hopping into the shower because I love showering.

I'm having lunch with Asher.
At least I get to see a decent human being every now and then.

I am annoyed that i don't get to swim and tan.
bloody hell.

Homesick.

Even though it's only been a week.

I usually still turn up, even if I were a wee bit ill, but I was so out of it this week that going to work was a bit of a challenge.
So my three/four days of training that I was supposed to go for this week had to be missed, thanks to this darn flu.
I'm supposed to be back at it today, but honest to God, I don't think I can because my chest is aching from blowing my nose too much and I'm still feverish.
EURGH. I hate this!


On the other hand though, the week hasn't been a complete waste because I have managed to get quite a few things done.

-My first Western Civilization assignment, for one. (Although sometimes the problem is that I get so pleased with my self-discipline that I take a three week break)

-That as well as having FINALLYYYYYYYY sent in a few pictures to James after promising to do it within the week. I am disgusting. (since you read this sometimes James, i'm so so so soooo sorry!)

-I also managed to get a nice 2 and a half hour chat with Justin who is miles away,
fit in two auditions (but then the same person was casting for two different things anyway)
and squeeze in two rehearsals before Sunday's performance.

-Lets see. I've also managed to drop 2.5 lbs!

-aaaaaaand, on Monday, when I was sick as a dog, I managed to help Victoria out with her test shoot. Side note: I absolutely looooove working with her cos she's really cute and funny!

-I also finished an entire Huge bottle of Nin jom Pei Pa Kao(that awesome cough syrup thing that I swear by!) within the week, when I bought it on Sunday!

-PLUS, I had a very nice chat with Bird about our next tattoo appointment. I'm just getting two now, instead of three because mommy finds tattooing her name on my ankle would be tacky. And well, it is her name after all! She's sooooo cute and understanding though! She couldn't bring herself to tell me that she thought it was tacky and when she did I was like, "okay, it's alright I won't get it then(:" and she has this pretty smile and she goes, "aww, thank you darling"

And then today, I'll be heading down to renew two of my modules. Serves me darn well right for procrastinating. Chemistry. ugh.
I really wanted to go for Muay Thai dammit! But if I go I'll just pass out.

Okay, rant over!
I was just going over my completed To Do list for the week to make me feel better.

Outstanding To Dos:
1) Send Chris Lee the rough recording of the songs for the mini musical
2) Bathe the furry children
3) Fill out PV and send it in.
4) Finish 2nd Western Civilization assignment (it's not like you've got Muay Thai today anyway Charis)

Muay Thai Gym, I really really miss you):
I looked up Muay Thai Gyms in LA, and there's one that I might just go for, but you know. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME! ARGH.
The only thing I have left from Muay Thai a weeks ago is the huge bruise on my shin. And blue-green isn't really my colour.

okie doke, off to do something productive!

RIP Zoe

I wish I knew you like they did.
You sound so beautiful, and I imagine you were, moreso even.
If I knew you personally, I'd have flown 2000 miles just to see you too.
<3

See you soon

So I just got off a two and a half hr, half verbal half non-verbal msn chat with Justin. The non-verbal half being myself.

He's got a lovely view from his window, and it looks much nicer than well, the view from my window. Well my window itself kind of looks so depressing you don't even want to go anywhere near the window.
It's funny how it seems like it's been a while when it really hasn't been that long,
and I do miss him already.
On the other hand, it's nice to know that I probably will see him again. Eventually.
In a few years or so.


Bringing me to this:

The other day, Bird talked about not knowing when you'll next see that person again. You know, when they leave.
And it's funny. Because we really don't know.

Like, the last time I saw Ann na, it was through Dory's front gate at her 18th birthday. I think I managed a wave, and she waved back.
That was well, more than a year ago. I'd bought her a present from the States and kicked myself for not bringing it to give her.

I've never seen Ann na since, and I never knew that last time, would quite likely be the last time I'd see her.

Or like Homer. I love Homer to bits and I've felt so shitty about us being so irregular with taking him out. The last time I took him out, I was with Vicky. And he was such an absolute darling that day. Very well behaved, running to me when I called him, coming out of the bushes when I said no.
When I returned him, I even picked out the days i'd come by the following week.

I honestly didn't think that it'd be the last time I'd see him.
Two months short of three years with him, it feels a bit strange. I suppose I could go by any time I'd like, just to say hi, just to give him a treat.
Won't be the same though.


I guess, when you're right in the middle of something, like in the middle of a relationship or in the thick of a friendship that's so strong, you cannot fathom the idea that one day, you might not have anything to talk about anymore, much less that one half might actively want to remove themselves from you.

It's painful, knowing this.
But c'est la vie, oui?



And then, let's just be honest. Some people, when they leave, you just don't miss them.
Why? Because you weren't close to them or anything.
I see it on Facebook all the time. People saying they're moving or that they're headed off to Aussie or something to study and then SUDDENLY you have massive amounts of people writing on their wall saying,
"PLEASE COME BACK SOON, I MISS YOU."
Don't say that.
Why not?
Because it's not true.


You guys were probably in contact for like, three days out of the 365 an one out of the three was an accident.
Just don't say it if it's not true man.

But oh, whatevs.
There's a lot to do and a lot more to think about now.

On the way out, remember to flash your boobs and raise your third finger

So here's the deal.
I don't care anymore, I just don't. And it, you, this, that, everything, it makes me laugh. It makes me literally break into a smile and then guffaws because I realize that I don't give two hoots about what's left.

Justin mentioned, just before leaving, that he got the sense he had inadvertently pissed some people off. And I'm starting on that too. Not anymore deliberate than him either.
But it's funny because, and when I say this I'm talking about distant people, I can't be bothered. I can't be bothered to be nice and apologize and make sure I leave this really nice impression of myself upon you.
Why?
Because honestly speaking, I don't give a flying fuck.

Some I don't know from Adam, and some I do/did know and then we're just worlds apart now. But all that doesn't matter because there's this insane sense of carelessness.
In fact, I wanted to say, "It was a joke, shame most of it went over your head. But I shouldn't be surprised now."
I mean, that's how much I don't care!
And what would usually have annoyed me and sparked of a rant filled with more annoyance and frustration just has me shaking my head and smiling.
Because you are funny, funny people.

It's alright for you to pull YouTube vids off the net and criticize and laugh and pass it around. But when people start doing it to you, it's not okay.
It's alright for you guys to kick up a fuss about Ris Low and her bad English, when in fact, YOU SPEAK EXACTLY LIKE HER AND THEREFORE SHE IS A PERFECT REPRESENTATION OF YOU. And then what you pass off as "jokes" (aka your boomz and your shingz) go on for so bloody long that dinosaurs came back to earth and then shot themselves in the face.

You are funny, funny people.

And I don't care anymore. Not about offending anyone, not about grovelling and pacifying you. Of course I'm not burning my bridges, that's not it. It's just that for some reason, I can't really be bothered.
I laugh at you.

I'm not kidding.
In the middle of the day I want to stop in the middle of the road, point at random people and just burst into crazy laughter. It's quite liberating, mind you.
I want to laugh at the people standing in front of an empty seat on a crowded bus and thinking that they are considerate. I want to laugh at the women slouching and sticking their sex tummies out at the world while they drag their feet, clad in slip-on kitten heels that don't fit, making their toes SQUDGE out the front of their shoes.
I want to laugh at the pompous prick over the counter who's telling me what to do.
I want to laugh, laugh, laugh.


Yes, the holidays will happen. The reunions, the pictures, the goodbye dinners. But with people that matter. With people that get it.
With people that can laugh at themselves, can laugh at me and with me.
The people that I keep in touch with, they're so incredibly worth it. And I care about them immensely.

But you, person who I'm not close to, person who doesn't understand, who cannot take what she can give. Person who I barely know. Person who I once knew and then just promptly ran of things to say.
My sincerest apologies,
but it's just that I cannot find it in myself,
to summon the energy to give a flying fuck.

and the home of the brave

So I pulled my feverish self slowly and carefully out of bed this morning and made the dangerous, wobbly and unsteady trek to the bathroom. After stuffing my face with non-drowsy meds and showering, I crawled back into my room wondering if it'd be too much to ask Ross if we could possibly combine classes today.
Not so that she could take over my class but so that I could facillitate without having to talk.
I figured it'd be a bit unfair on her and resigned myself to the possibility of passing out in front of twenty children.

Then at 7.30am, right before yanking my top on, I got a text from Ross saying that there weren't Kranji classes this week.
Today, I am free.

God just amazes me like that.

But since Kirsten (the new computer that I've got on loan from Veektor) was already on, because I'd double, triple-checked schedules, I ended up replying Justin's email and having a quick breakfast with Mommy.

It's a good day today, besides being so sick, simply because of how it started.
Two phonecalls made my day.
So many things are falling through and I feel like I just need to start packing already, even though I honestly ought to be more focused on finishing subjects instead.

Back to being ill, I've slept, I've woken, I've taken meds and my temperature is NOT dropping. In fact it actually feels worse right now. I literally feel like I might collapse and there's just so much that I have to do this week.
Madness.


I loved our little dinner thing for D's birthday last night, and as I looked at all our godawful warped pictures that actually can pass as quite cute, I realized that we hadn't had any alcohol to go along with it. I think D had a beer while waiting the 120430 0000434 years for us but that probably wasn't very much anyway.
So wow, birthdays without alcohol? Birthdays spent smearing cake on our faces and looking at skank dot com pictures?
Maybe we are growing up after all. And there's something just a tad bit sad about that now.

Surrender

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

--Barlow Girl, Surrender

You've made it all so beautiful, so unimaginably beautiful. And You've created such an insane longing that I get ahead of myself, with all my plans, my dreams, and a wallet of determination.

Now I suddenly find my priorities, my perspectives, messing themselves up. I grapple with this unfamiliar feeling of not knowing where I am going, and I cry.
I cry and I try to sit down and put it all together again, only to have it refuse to fit.

And then, weary, exhausted and on the brink of despair, I find You.
I always find You, even when I haven't been looking.
And You calm me. You fill me with such an immense peace that I smile to myself on the train, I look out at people hurrying and for the first time in my life, I feel okay to not really know what is going to happen next.

I thought that the point of this transitional period, was to get out of it and know where I'm going. To find my direction and start going for it.
And for the first few days I was just filled with exasperation and frustration at what was left of me. I hated not knowing, I hated not being able to plan it down to the T.
But right in the middle of it, You opened up my clenched fist, and waited.

And I gave, I will give, and I will keep giving.
Letting go of this, of all of this, feels like the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. Ever.
Because my dreams are me.
But I know now, for the first time in my life, the feeling of letting go and knowing, knowing, just knowing, that it's in Your hands. Knowing that You are the only one in the world who will not fail me. Knowing that my plans are safe with You, that I am safe with you.

This doesn't mean that I don't know where I'm going anymore or that I don't know what I want.
I know what I want for sure, it's just about how I'm going to get there.
And even after those first few days, even after praying, I still thought I had to sort all of that out.
But I see now that I don't.
Because I truly feel like He's sorting everything out for me.
I know where I'm going, and I am excited. The only thing I don't have anymore, is the worry of how I am going to get there.
Because He is there, and He will be there, every single step of the way.
And if He says step out on the water, I will fix my eyes on Him, and I will go.

New York, New York

You know, I'm actually seriously considering studying in New York for a little while. Not live there, I don't think I could take living there (but I don't speak from experience though),
but maybe just study there for a bit.
And you know what?
Wednesday One-liners like these make me reeeeeeaaaaally want to even more!

Acting professor: Act as if you're fascinated by what they're saying, while thinking about something else. That's what boys learn to do when they get married.

--NYU

"Why are you still here?" I ask Charis, over and over and over again

Young guy, yelling: I don't give a fuck what you think, I'll play my music as loud as I want!
Old lady, yelling: Well, you do whatever you want, you just keep it away from me! I'm with the Lord. I've got the love of Christ in my heart, you fucking faggot!

--Brooklyn

THIS IS WHAT GOT ME CHUCKLING TO MYSELF.

Smoking man to another: I've heard being pregnant is really bad for your health.

--Columbia University

Large black woman: An' I been tellin' him I got all these ideas for t-shirts... Like one for a pregnant lady that says "Congratulations, you're not the daddy!"

--BX12 Bus

this last one above, could honestly work on a tee. damn, i ought to get it printed or something:D

Little boy, throwing tantrum in the street: Dad, my feet hurt. I can't walk anymore!
Dad: Yeah, well, my testicles hurt. Come on!

--Times Square

Reader Poll: Should Meth Be Required for Tourists?

13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.

--Times Square


yeah they probably should make it a requirement. It'd make more sense in any case, you get to enjoy New York more!

Peace out y'all
:D

Please, for the love of God!

((:

This is San Francisco.
San Francisco is a fantastically awesome place, with really nice people but massive crowds.
It feels like you really could walk to anywhere from anywhere sometimes, it does.
And it's all pretty with lovely lights and balcony stairs.

It buzzes with this gorgeous vibe of arts, contentment and general happiness. People stand around yelling REPENT for three hours straight and people in wheelchairs sit by the roadside with a cat in their laps.

People always hate me for being all prissy all the time, but seriously, I do not, and i mean DO NOT understand why people in Singapore call San Francisco "San Fran".
No one ever calls it San Fran!

It's like, you guys went there, got excited and thought you'd be really cool and show off how much you know the place by giving it a nickname that no one ever uses! And then it's spread like aaaall over the place and lots of people here talk about "San Fran this" and "San Fran that"
Fuck balls.

When I leave I ought to come up with some snazzy-but-not-really nickname that will catch on, and have lots of people saying it. Then you'll know how annoying it is.


ugh. If you don't know what locals call it, then don't make up a random nickname.
Yes, I told my daddy off once for calling it San Fran. I sort of grimaced, and spazzed and then said, "I think you mean San Francisco."

Where'd you get the idea of calling San Francisco "San Fran" anyway.
annoying much.
I'm trying to remember if I've ever heard locals call it San Fran, and I think I heard someone in LA say that ONCE, but he's chink and he corrected himself.

Ok lar, maybe it's not your fault. But please stop anyway, because it's quite annoying.


:D