Thursday, January 10, 2008

Hurting Distance

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
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This is just because we all need a lil somethin' somethin' to make us smile.

Well, isn't it just ironic how hurting distance isn't any distance at all?

Thinking about it, there's a certain closeness allowed on your part which is probably why it's always so painful in the end.

I hardly dare think of what hurting distance really is, if i do, if i actually pay attention, then i might be too cynical to bear. There's those i hold so very close, so very dear, that i wouldn't notice if they stuck a knife into me. It scares me to think that something as simple as a "Hello there" on the first day of school can result in a relationship so naked that if you look at it carefully, it'd seem you're a tad on the vulnerable side.

I've been blessed to have friends i've learnt from. And because of each other, or perhaps vicky just rubs off on most of us, there seems to be a rare case of backstabbing and gossiping and other pointless timewasters. We're quite blazae in a sense and God, am i thankful.

Thank God we don't have a CLIQUE and it's not called CHERRIEX POPXIES or SWEETIEX POOOPIEXEZ.

Thank God that save for a few random people who were annoying/stupid/fucktarded, there's never been like, some sort of fight, complete with all the "i dunch frenx euux anniimoorex worxz n euuxzx can go and farkkkk euuurselfxzxz" and all the "neber b4 deeed ii kneww euuxz wer tis kind of peepolexzx. backkkstabeeng biotchxzxz"

I think i'd just throw up and die, no really.

And so, i realize, i was really speaking very much as a child when i claimed that
"the tears i cried would form the ice around my heart".
We're not all Miss Havisham, even Sarah, in all her strength was weak. I think, a slave to her feelings for Mr. Carr.

That's what i fear, that's what i'll never want again.

There is hurting distance, of course there is. But then, there isn't because there's no distance at all. It's often hard to decide which is scarier.
What's important is knowing.

Which is why i wouldn't be with someone if i don't see it going anywhere. And if i'm planning on breaking up, i'd do it sooner rather than later.

Still, sometimes i get scared.
I scare myself with the realization that, i haven't kept my distance at all.
And my mommy's "i told you, didn't i?" rings loud and clear in my ears.

By then, there is no distance between you and the hurt either.


enqing said...
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enqing said...

hurting distance is an oxymoron in itself. yet it makes utter sense.

you need proximity to hurt; yet sometimes the absence of proximity inflicts more hurt. it's likened to when you pull an elastic band away from you - and it lashes at your tender wrist with all its might. and immense pain shoots through your whole system. you cringe in pain.

distance kills.