Friday, January 11, 2008

Nose-raped


Our day off at Sentosa!
A very much needed break indeeeeed!

Not many pictures though. In fact, this is the one that sums it all up:
Good food, good sun (for most of the time anyway), books, shades and sand!
I'm going to make it a point to do this at least every two months.
Plus work on my tan as well of course. It's not very pretty now):


I know this isn't me, and i should cut out my bad habit of putting random people up,
but he's not random in the least AND i took this veryvery nice picture.

AND i very much like this picture, so there. The background looks gorgeous doesn't it?

ANYWAY,
abit of a rant and rave session coming up so leave if you're not in the mood for random word vomit.

I think it is horribly inconsiderate of people to take public transport if they smell bad.
I mean, it's called public transport because members of the public will be there, no? And if there's a ban on durians because not everyone likes the strong smell, then why shouldn't there be a ban on smelly people?!

They ought to have machines that you walk through which go BEEPBEEPBEEP! UNFIT TO BOARD TRAIN, PLEASE BATHE BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER STEP!

Seriously, since you're not in your own car or torturing some poor old cab driver with your stench, the least you could do is leave your house a tad bit cleaner, right?
Isn't it only basic courtesy to NOT smell like your last bath was a century ago?

Already, twice this week, yes you saw right, TWICE THIS WEEK, i have been stuck on the same train as smelly people. One was a huge guy, and another was a woman. A WOMAN! I AM AGHAST!

The first incident, with the huge guy, i noticed, in between pages of my wonderful book, a small but very noticeable radius around him. The people seated right behind him, inches away from his butt, didn't stay in the seat for more than two minutes.
When i first got on, i didn't just assume it was the big guy, i kind of sniffed in the direction of the geeks, which, mind you, didn't smell that much better either, especially the one closest to me.
I noticed him sniffing himself a bit thinking he was the source of the foul, damp-clothes mixed in a day of sweat smell. Well he wasn't, but he wasn't that far off either.

In the end, i couldn't bear it and walked off, closer to the door, before i dropped dead.

Then this morning, while i was, once again, deeply engrossed in my book, a horrid smell came to me. It smelt worse than the damp-clothes smell though not half as strong.
It smelt of an old, homeless man who was incapable of bathing. Now see, if that was the source of the smell, i wouldn't even have mentioned it! I've got a soft spot for frail old men you see, and don't think it's their fault that no one bathes them.

At first i thought it was me, and was repulsed by the mere thought of it. Then i let out a tentative sniff and realized it wasn't a trapped smell, which meant it was radiating off someone like the glow of an angel! (What a horrible comparison, i know)
I tried to sniff without being noticed and LO! The smell came from right beside me. THE SMELL CAME FROM A WOMAN!

GOSH! What is this world coming to!
Men are supposed to smell bad so that evil bitches like me can write about them while women laugh to themselves thinking, God i'm glad i'm a woman, because i always smell so damn good.
Needless to say i was shocked, and proceeded to edge closer to the lady on my left while trying not to breathe in too deeply.

The saddest thing, i find, was that when she left and an old man took over her place, sitting beside me, he didn't smell half as bad. IN FACT, he didn't even have a smell at all!

Oh dearie me.

It always makes me wonder, i mean, don't complain and say "I'm fat so i always smell bad".
Fat people don't always smell bad. Take Ms Doughnut for instance, we say she's smelly and make up horrible songs about her, but actually she smells better than most teachers.

I'm just quite against being nose-raped, that's all, especially when i'm stuck on public transport and not too far from you.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

...
trying to get into the national blog archives?

Anonymous said...

Xiaxue had a similar blog post like that. haha

Charis Vera said...

that's nice to know anon. well, actually it's not, i'm a bit grossed out.
And if anon is janice, you won't live past tonight.

No victor, i'm not.
what a gross thought.
Thank you, now i feel like deleting what i wrote